hehehehehe~

Went down to check and that guy's clothes are OUT of the dryer! woohoo~

Now I'm waiting for my clothes to dry =D

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Hmmm...Got this e-mail yesterday and it only contained ONE sentence:

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.

I know I'm not perfect...I don't have any special talents, I'm not good in any sport (unless u call cycling a sport), I don't get super good grades etc.

Some days I feel great being me, some days I feel shitty, some days I question my existence...

I love being imperfect but I have to admit that at times I feel inferior being around friends who have talents in various areas...makes me feel a lil "useless".

Anyway, just a thought...not emo now =)

These are the lyrics to a song called "Imperfect Girl"...I think it suits me

I don't have a perfect smile
maybe I'm just too shy
I'm not a beauty queen
on covers of magazines
that's something you can't deny
I got my own style

So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

I wouldn't be classed as cool
I have to bend the rules
Maybe I don't fit in
I didn't always win
that's something you can't deny
I'm happy with my own style

So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

It's all just make-believe
The standards that we hear
It doesn't have to be
A perfect world, a perfect world

I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

XOXO,
Me

Dilemma

Well well...

I wasn't supposed to post this...but then I'm "bored" =S

Put in my clothes in the washing machine, the dryer which was the so-called best one was in use...

Went down to check my clothes, oh! washing done...but dryer still in use...

Checked the laundry basket, and what do u know?! It belongs to the guy who hates me >.<

*sigh* Went up to his room to ask him what time he put his clothes inside...he couldn't remember...

Now it got me thinking, should I just wait OR spend twice as much to put my clothes into the dryer that is not so dry?

........

XOXO,
Me

Thoughts

It's 1:51am...just finished writing my psychology essay synopsis. I think I did a crappy job, oh well...

Was listening to 真爱 by 183 Club，and the feelings when I first listened to this song came back to me...The song was a soundtrack to this Taiwanese drama series 王子变青蛙 (The prince who turned into a frog).

Used to be crazy over this series, mainly because of its romantic storyline and the handsome main male character...The story was more or less like a fairytale but I still love it!! Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a total sucker for romantic things =P

Can't believe that I was dreaming my whole high school and college life...thinking that fairytales do exist. Well, I still think that there's a fairytale designed for each and everyone, just that maybe all we have to do is to wait and see. The time will come. Everyone will have their own happy ending =)

After last week's bible study, JC (our bible study leader?) was saying something that goes something like this:
God has a plan for us and for example He has already chosen our life partner for us. Of course the one He chooses will be the perfect one for us but if we miss out on the perfect one, then we'll get the second best one. However, the result won't be as good as the perfect one. The good thing is that if you don't know who the perfect one is, then you'll never know what you've missed out.

Hmmm...it got me thinking...there are so many things in life...career, studies, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, decisions etc. We live life as it is but we'll never know which ones are the perfect ones. And I guess it's a good thing we don't know, or else we'll be living in regret all the time.

Life...

I'm in my last year of being a teenager, figuring out how life works...but yeah, I enjoy learning about life. Coming here has opened my eyes to the things around me and to the things unseen. Knowing the people here has broaden my horizon as well...Never thought I'd get to know great people here...Used to think that people can't really be trusted no matter how nice people treat you, but I'm opening my heart once again. Even if I get hurt, I'll know that at least I have once tried.

Love...

Got to feel love for my family more deeply than ever!! "As I look around, I can't believe the love I see" (Jordin Sparks - This is My Now) Love is like the wind; you can't see it but you can feel it (A Walk to Remember) Starting to experience God's love as well...been running away for too long. However, I'm still in the process of learning how to love people whom I do not know. The funniest thing is that although I'm a romantic person, I do not express love well. I can just act the total opposite of how I feel and then regret it later because I panic. I just feel weird being too nice to someone...lol~

Friends...

They are the ones who make life more bearable. I think in certain ways, friends influence you more than your family does, probably because of the generation gap. Well, I'm not saying ALL, but majority. Like for example, I would tell my friends about my crushes but not my mom/dad/brother. However when it comes to big big events like my getting a boyfriend, maybe I'll tell my parents for approval. I am the kind who seeks the approval of my family. Without their approval or blessings, it'd be meaningless. Anyway, back to friends, somehow friends learn from each other without knowing.

p/s: Genieve, we must always keep in touch ok?! *hugs* Not forgetting sze may...if you ever fall for some cute American guy must update me ok??!! XD

Time for me to visit slumberland...my prince charming, here I come! XD

Before I go, just wanna share the lyrics of 真爱 (True Love).

我们都曾经明白也都曾经遗憾　(We once understood and also one regretted)
错过了爱就难以从来 (Once you've missed out on love, it's hard to start anew)
不要害怕去坦白，(Don't be afraid to be honest)
怕容易被你宠坏，(Afraid of being spoilt by you easily)
忘了该与不该，(Forget the shoulds and shouldn'ts)
到哪里找回真爱，(Where to go to find true love back)
找回所有遗憾，(Find back all the regrets)
爱的真相就能够解开。(The truth of love will be revealed)

oops~ excuse my bad direct translation XP

XOXO,
Me

Not so stressed...I hope

Just what I needed during times of stress...

Opened my e-mail and there it was, sitting in the inbox =)

Shall share with you a few meaningful phrases...<3

Do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations

Stress...

...can kill.

It's late but I'm here blogging. Why? Cause I need to let out some feelings...

I'm not sure if I used to be this stress in college, considering the fact that there were a lot of assignments to do as well.

Right now, I feel lifeless...Hate assignments, especially those that require you to list more than 10 references!! =S

Help!!

Tell me, Jennifer, Prasana, Natalie...whoever went through college with me, was I this stressed??

I know I'm an easily stressed person and I think I'm not Psychology material but then I know I'm here for a reason...hopefully.

I think I'm having an anxiety disorder of some sort >.< Since schooling days, I can't sleep well when I have assignments due, exams coming up or after studying a subject that requires lots of memorising. I would dream about things I need to accomplish and things that happened before I sleep (in this case, studying/doing assignments).

S, who keeps "attacking" me whenever I speak because I'm a Psychology (or maybe cause I'm female) student makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Then again, I shouldn't let people bring me down cause I live for myself and not others.

Everytime this happens, the angel and devil inside me would proclaim war in my head. ARRGGGHHHH!

Could it be because I miss home? Back home when I'm stressed, I'll overcome it really quickly but here, I don't know...I just feel like I'd break anytime. This could be one of the reasons that led me to thinking about my family.

Experienced a major realisation today...

Sometimes crying is the only way to express how you feel...=')

I'd give up my tomorrows for just one yesterday. A hug anyone??

If tomorrow never comes, I just wanna tell all of you back home and here and all over Australia, US, UK and Japan that I love you guys alot alot!! [this doesn't sound like me =S]

I've been insensitive and inconsiderate in the past, would you forgive me?

See what stress made me do?! Reading too much on anxiety disorders doesn't help a teeny weeny bit as well...*sigh*

Counting the days till I stand at the arrival hall at Penang International Airport, waving frantically to my family and relatives with a big smile on my face...

Be strong, girl...Another 3 months and you'll get to go back home...home is where the heart is. I never understood that phrase until I came here.

I'm being super long-winded =S

Since I'm already typing this post, I might as well continue typing until I don't feel the stress anymore.

Used to think that people who are homesick are just plain weak. I thought I'd never feel homesick because I was so eager to leave home and venture the world, experience new experiences, meet new people, make new friends, learn new stuff and learn to be independent. Now I understand what my other friends meant when they say that we used to be so sheltered and protected.

I guess being sentimental doesn't help either. Knowing that my cousin's gonna give birth this month and I won't be there to see her newborn makes me a lil sad...Kids...I wanna see them grow...1 stage after another...By the time I fly to Singapore in December, her son would be 3 months old already. I'd never know how he looks like when he was born. And so this is the time when I rely on pictures to tell me stories.

Pictures...Lost 3 years' worth of pics right before I came here. I was totally heart broken. How would I remember my memories when I reach 70 or 80?? I would need pics to remind me then. *sigh*

I don't know what I'm babbling about. Maybe it's the bottled-up feelings.

Gonna stop before I bore anyone with this not-so-happy post =)

p/s: all my friends out there, you're not forgotten and never will be...[pls ignore all grammatical errors]

XOXO,
Me

Another eventful day part 1

Well, the reason this post is just the 1st part is because I'm lazy to type it now...I've gotta start on my psychology essay synopsis before I die of Anxiety Disorder!! =S

I was trying to run away from reality, not wanting to work on it because everytime I work on an assignment, I feel like I'm gonna be out of breath any minute.

But what the heck...I gotta come back to reality...

This reminds me of The Cinderella Story, where the "prince" finally met the "princess" at the ball and when it striked midnight, the "princess" said she had to go back and he asked, "back to where?" and she replied, "to reality"

Ahhhhh~ Fairytales...I wanna be a character in fairytales...at least there's always a happy ending =) Hehe...

*SNAP*

I'm back to reality.

XOXO,
Me

Random phrase

Came across a phrase from a friend's friend's blog...

I guess there's some truth in it for certain people at certain points of life...

The hardest things to say are the words that mean the most. So I’ll bite my tongue until it bleeds and I doubt you’ll even know. I’m standing on the line between giving up and seeing how much more I can take…

p/s: nothing to do with me =) i'm damn serious. I totally agree with the 1st part of the phrase though...

XOXO,

Me

As Long As You Love Me

Ahhh~

Just came back from another OCF meeting on a Friday night =)

Currently listening to As Long As You Love Me by the once-so-famous-Backstreet-boys.

It's a really romantic song but somehow it reminds me of our saviour...

Modified version of As Long As You Love Me:
He doesn't care who we are,
where we're from,
doesn't care what we did,
as long as we love Him

The memory verse that I memorised today during lunch was:
Psalm 51:16-17
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it
You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and contrite heart,
O God You will not despise.

*contrite, according to http://www.dictionary.com is:
Feeling regret and sorrow for one's sins or offenses; penitent.

See what I meant by modifying the lyrics? God wants us as a living sacrifice, not burnt offerings, and even more when we have a broken spirit and a broken and contrite heart. He does not despise us even though we're so imperfect =))

Just a super duper short sharing, cause I'm lazy to type and my eyes are shutting again. @.@

XOXO,
Me

First Time

Today I had 2 first-times =P

1st, for my whole uni life (been here for 5 months+ only) I had lunch with a friend today.

2nd, I played pool for the first time since I came here >.< Well, it's the 2nd time in my whole 19 years...lol~ The first time ever I touched a cue stick was last year in college. Boy, was I super bad at it!! Didn't dare to play it since then...

I have work to do...but my eyes are shutting any moment now. I'm not even thinking about my grammar as I type this post...

XOXO,
Me

panic-stricken

2 weeks of 2nd semester has already come and gone. I still can't get myself to be more organised...

Checked the due dates for assignments when I woke up and whoa!!

The due dates are near...very near...

Gotta START work!!

O.O

XOXO,
Me

Found myself

Ahhh~ well, hours ago I felt mixed feelings.

Now I feel so so so so happy! =D

Meeting up with Penang friends just reminds me of my old self...

Yes!

My old self is back...I hope =P

Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy HappyHappy Happy Happy Happy

XOXO,
Me ^_^

Silence is golden

Well, I was feeling happy like an hour ago...

but my happiness kind of faded away when I saw P.

Everytime I see P, I don't know what to say.

I was feeling happy and sad at the same time...

and that's really bad 'cause I never liked mixed feelings.

I don't mind not talking to P, but what hurts the most is that P never stands on my side.

NEVER

I'm not mad or anything, but I've realised something through this.

You can never satisfy everyone cause in the end, you'll end up getting hurt.

So, I've made up my mind.

And I shall remind myself from time to time that: Even if the whole world is against me, I shall stand up for myself, for what I believe in, and for what the truth is!

After watching Amazing Grace, I was in awe of what God is capable in doing.

William Wilberforce has become my role model.

Not only is he couragous to stand up for what he believes in when the whole world (well, not exactly) is against him, he's also determined in what he does.

Now, I shall live like him.

From now on, if people tease me or laugh at me, I shall smile and know that God is always on my side (depending on the situation). Even if I'm in the wrong, I shall fall and learn to stand up again...

When I'm silent, I'm trying not to listen to the conversation. =)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a lighter note, I met up with a friend who came over from Perth for his sister's graduations ceremony.

I don't know why, but after hanging out with him, I felt like we've known each other for ages even though I've only known him for less than a year.

We kind of knew each other in a weird way, which was through C =P And the first time meeting him was at 1-stop Popular bookshop...

Come to think of it, after meeting him, my old Penang personality came back. I didn't need to worry how people will see me, all I did was be my normal self, talk as much as I want to, tell as much funny stories as I want to, be as childish as I want to. Ahhh~ old friends...

If I could, I would wanna be my old self here but apparently somehow I feel restricted. Everything I do, S would have something to say. S always has this problem with Psychology students.

Although I know that he doesn't mean it, I'm only human, sometimes I feel hurt and frustrated. I pray that God will help me acquire patience and I truly believe that miracles do happen.

And when I face this kind of situation, all I can do is be silent. Before I say something that I might regret.

I realised only M is observant enough to have noticed that I didn't look happy. Well, I was, but not anymore.

*sigh* This is the battle with myself again.

Happy / Unhappy?

I don't know >.< Someone decide for me, please!!

One thing's for sure, I'm gonna be who God made me to be!!! Will not live according to people's views...I'm me!

Want to know more about me?
Visit http://kevan.org/johari?name=Michellin and do accordingly.
Michellin's me by the way, other names were already taken, so I just simply chose a name *winks*
You can see what people think of me =)

XOXO,
Me

The Power of Prayer

Just came home from OCF combined meeting at AACC and the first thing I did was to connect to the internet and check my e-mail.

There it was, sitting in my inbox...an e-mail sent from my friend Jennifer, entitled "26 guards". I thought, well maybe this is just another entertaining story...

Little did I know that wow, it turned out to be an inspiring message!! =)

So, I'll just copy and paste the entire e-mail here and I shall go to bed...

Here goes:

Here's a message that will bring you chills. Have you ever felt the urge to pray for someone and then just put it on a list and said, "I'll pray for them later?"
Or has anyone ever called you and said, "I need you to pray for me, I have this need?"

Read the following story that was sent to me and may it change the way that you may think about prayer and also the way you pray.

You will be blessed by this.

A missionary on furlough told this true story while visiting his home church in Michigan.

"While serving at a small field hospital in Africa, every two weeks I traveled by bicycle through the jungle to a nearby city for supplies. This was a journey of two days and required camping overnight at the halfway point.

On one of these journeys, I arrived in the city where I planned to collect money from a bank, purchase medicine, and supplies, and then begin my two-day journey back to the field hospital.

Upon arrival in the city, I observed two men fighting, one of whom had been seriously injured. I treated him for his injuries and at the same time talked to him about the Lord.

I then traveled two days, camping overnight, and arrived home without incident.

Two weeks later I repeated my journey.

Upon arriving in the city, I was approached by the young man I had treated. He told me that he had known I carried money and medicines. He said, 'Some friends and I followed you into the jungle, knowing you would camp overnight. We planned to kill you and take your money and
drugs.

But just as we were about to move into your camp, we saw that you were surrounded by 26 armed guards.

At this, I laughed and said that I was certainly all alone in that jungle campsite.

The young man pressed the point, however, and said, 'No, sir, I was not the only person to see the guards, my friends also saw them, and we all counted them. It was because of those guards that we were afraid and left you alone.'

At this point in the sermon, one of the men in the congregation jumped to his feet and interrupted the missionary and asked if he could tell him the exact day this happened.

The missionary told the congregation the date, and the man who interrupted told him this story:

"On the night of your incident in Africa, it was morning here and I was preparing to go play golf.

I was about to putt when I felt the urge to pray for you. In fact, the urging of the Lord was so strong, I called men in this church to meet with me here in the sanctuary to pray for you. Would all of those men who met with me on that day stand up?"

The men who had met together to pray that day stood up. The missionary wasn't concerned with who they were, he was too busy counting how many men he saw.

There were 26.

This story is an incredible example of how the Spirit of the Lord moves in mysterious ways.

If you ever hear such prodding, go along with it.

Nothing is ever hurt by prayer except the gates of hell. I encourage you to forward this to as many people as you know.

If we all take it to heart, we can turn this world toward God once again. As the above true story clearly illustrates, "with God all things are possible".

More importantly, how God hears and answers the prayers of the faithful.

After you read this, please pass it on and give God thanks for the beautiful gift of your faith, for the powerful gift of prayer, and for the many miracles He works in your own daily life... and then pass it on. Who says God does not work in mysterious ways?

I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today. To guide you and protect you as you go along your way. His love is always with you, His promises are true, and when we give Him our cares you know He will see us through.

So when the road you're traveling on seems difficult at best, just remember I'm here praying, and God will do the rest.

Ahhh~ the power of prayer...

May God bless those who are staying back at AACC for the fast and prayer thingy tonight. May God give them the strength and discipline.

XOXO,
Me

Part 1

During winter holidays, I read this book entitled "10 Commandments of Dating" and although never been attached or experienced any kind of love other than family love and friendships, I think it was a useful guide to searching my life partner...haha~

Just to share with my friends what I've read =P

I once came this phrase from a friend's blog...it kind of goes like this:
I dream that one day when my kid asks me who my first love is, I would be able to point across the living room and answer "there he is, sitting over there" to my kid.

Isn't that the most romantic thing ever?! =P Marrying your first love...or first boyfriend, whichever that applies to you.

Anyway, the 1st commandment is Thou shalt get a life.

By getting a life, it simply means that not being dependent on your girl/guy (whichever applies to you) 24/7. You should allow each other to have time for themselves. People who don't have a life will feel empty or insecure when he/she is not around their partner. Also, people who don't have a life would constantly call/msg their partner to know their whereabouts because they're afraid that they might cheat on them or that they're just simply possessive.

The 1st thing of getting a life is Get Grounded.

Embrace the fact that you are created in the image of God and have worth and value simply because you were born.

This value is unchanging and complete.

Worth, based on being in the image of God, does not fluctuate; it does not change regardless of your personality, performance, or possessions because it's based on the immutable character of God.

We are stamped with His image.

Since you are stamped with the image of the Priceless One, you are also priceless. That is self-worth. Accepting this is the key to be grounded.

Enough for today...I think today's "lesson" kind of reminded myself of my self-worth =) At times I tend to think too lowly of myself, which is not good at all...and also I shall learn how to forgive myself.

(to be continued)

XOXO,
Me

Reminiscence

Hehe~

Had a great time chatting with one of The Famous 4, KT, on msn last night and as usual, we had our girl talk =P

Suddenly she asked what happened to the plan YX and I made since high school about getting a bikini...So I told her that YX got hers already and I, on the other hand, haven't cause I'm scared to wear it already since Adelaide is super duper small I could just bump into anyone I know here >.< And I would not like to bump into anyone while being in a bikini, thank you very much!

What d'ya know?! KT got her bikini already?! o.O shocking! Since she was the most shy among us and she also shocked us by getting attached in college...hehe~ Now I see how much we've changed over the past few years and I think it's a good change.

4 of us, total different personalities...well, not exactly 100% different but you get the drift. We are all so unique in our own ways and because of this difference, we mix together so well I can't even use words to describe. We can talk endlessly during Taekwondo trainings, recesses and hangouts. We could talk about ANYTHING, anything under the sky, anything that your twisted minds can ever think of...

Before I knew JM, I thought I was the only person on Earth who eats the slowest! After I knew her, we were waiting for each other to finish our food =P Awww~ I loved recesses...We can never get enough of each other (The Famous 4). We would run to each others' classes during period breaks to just say something totally pointless.

I always thought I'd never find friends who can click with me because of my weird personality...lol...but I guess opposites attract XD

XOXO,
Me

^_^

I'm on cloud 9 at the moment...there's nothing to do with P whatsoever...just because I feel happy...happy without a reason. Well, there IS a reason but I came to a bigger realisation today after our bible study session.

I've been feeling really happy after bible study sessions...just like on Friday night, E asked me why I was smiling and laughing the whole time and she was so sure that there was something to do with P and when I said no she didn't believe me.

Anyway, I'm just so speechless about my being so happy...so I'll just leave it just here.

Tomorrow's the beginning of another week of uni...gotta make the best out of every day!

XOXO,
Me

Suddenly...

...I realise I'm too emotional, in a good way maybe. I'm not sure, you tell me.

Was just reading one of my brother's friends' blogs when suddenly my tears flowed down my cheeks as I read the last sentence.

http://wzlee.blogspot.com/2007/06/20-minutes.html

He was blogging about his going back to Penang, his hometown, which is also mine. ^.^ They way he described Penang made me realise that that's where I was born, that's where I was brought up...so what if people think Penang is ulu? Well, to certain extent, I do agree Penang is ulu, so what? It's my identity and 18 years of memories in Penang have been kept in the corners of my heart.

Just a few days ago, my brother sent me an MMS of mummy's pic...and suddenly I felt that she grew old alot...maybe it's the same I don't know, but she looked older to me. Having heard about the death of a friend's father made me appreciate what I have more...When my dad told me they went out for late supper and they had Penang's most famous Char Koay Teow, I couldn't help but to ask them to take care and not to eat too much of oily food.

I wanna go home...I wanna see my parents and brother waving at me at the airport, knowing that they're OK. But I know that when I go home during the summer holidays, my brother won't be there anymore...he'd be back in Moscow, doing his 4th year of medicine. I miss annoying him and laughing like a siao char bor (given by my brother).

I can still remember how my brother and I fought over EVERY SINGLE thing. We'd kick and punch each other like there's no tomorrow. He'd use his karate techniques, I'd just use whatever techniques I could think of...Mummy would always (well, not exactly always) scold him because he's the elder one and he doesn't know how to control his strength. I'd end up having a stomach ache due to the punches...but what the heck?! Hehe~ I miss those days...

We're the total opposites...Used to wonder if God had mistaken our identities XP (Note the word "USED TO") Wish I could post a picture of my brother and I when we were little but I lost my pictures when my computer was sent for repair and I didn't have time to scan our pictures into my laptop.

My aunts and cousins once told me that although my brother and I fought alot when we were young, he loved me alot...=') Once when I was around 3 years old, I did something (I forgot what) and my dad (or mum, can't remember) wanted to beat me with the cane but he protected me against it. Can you imagine that?! Awww...mushy feeling came over me. My brother?! Haha...my brother who doesn't even show that he cares did that for me! *giggles*

Well, not only me brother I guess. My family is a typical Chinese family where they do not tell each other they care but they care through actions. I think the only time I told them that I miss them was since I came here...and I did it through SMS XP Oh well, better late than never right?
I THINK my dad missed me the most...I said I THINK cause I'm not sure. My dad is worse than my mom. He misses my brother but he acts all cool and calm when my brother calls whereas my mom would rush to the phone to talk to him. At least they have my brother to keep them company for now...

My mom told me years ago that my dad had always wanted a daughter. My parents got married late so my mom was kinda "old" when she conceived my brother and my dad suggested that they try for a baby girl before it's too late. So, here I am! Born into this world...My mom gave birth to me when she was 41 so they were kind of worried if I would be normal and stuff. Hello world!!

So, from now on, I shall not condemn myself and should learn to forgive myself. That was why I felt so happy yesterday after OCF...=D Ah...starting to get lazy in typing...shall elaborate the next time IF I'm still in the mood to...

Hillsong - Royalty

God made me who I meant to be
He loves me just the way I am
God made me who I meant to be
His dreams for me is so amazing

For this simple reason
I am happy to be me

My God watches over me
I feel like royalty

XOXO,
Me

I'm officially...

...afraid of balls.

Not THAT kinda balls, mind you.

It's the balls we use to play basketball, baseball, and other games.

Well, I think I developed that phobia in primary school.

I wasn't good in basketball and my PE teacher had something against me.

Then one time in high school, I was playing baseball with a friend and I was trying to hit the baseball when the baseball came smashing into my face, exactly between my nose and my lips. *ouch*

I was wearing braces then...It hurt soooo bad I thought I was going to lose a few teeth but thank God I didn't. However, one of my coloured rubber bands came off.

From then on, I told myself not to play with ANY type of (game) balls.

But when I came here, I thought maybe I don't have that phobia anymore and what do you know?

Got hit by a basketball again right at my nose! >.<

And now I'm thinking...how do I ever learn any sport involving balls?

*shrugs*

I MUST overcome my phobia...but how?! =S

2nd day of 2nd semester

Had a hard time choosing another elective because the ones that I'm interested in are either full or the time clashes with my other subjects =S

So, I settled for Religions of the Ancient World which the seminar is held in Mawson Lakes campus located FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR away from my hostel...*sigh*

It's ok...I think I can take it...if it's too much to bear, I know He'll be by my side, supporting me all the way!

Well, uni was normal...no friends to have lunch with, resulting my sleeping on the cafeteria table until my arms were numb @.@

I used to hate bus rides...but now I think I enjoy them. I enjoy watching the world go by...house after house, tree after tree, person after person, it's just so fascinating =))

I'm feeling better...after everything that has happened. Can't believe that my life here is sooooooo "colourful" compared to my life back in Penang. Probably because of the people I got to know. Can't imagine how my life would be if I hadn't met them...hmmm...*thinks*

I've been thinking, have I been listening more or talking more? In nature, I'm a talkative person, yes.

I still remember in Form 5, I sat with one of my best friends, YX, in class and we talked 24/7 until the prefect in front of us got annoyed =P but we didn't care anyway and that prefect kinda got used to it eventually...HAH!

Then sometime after mid-year exams, I started to feel that I needed to listen more...so I did. I thought I didn't play my part good enough. Surprise surprise, when we were about to graduate, YX wrote: "I realised that now you've learnt to listen more and I really appreciate it" in my autograph book. So it did make a difference! I still remember that phrase till today...and I wanna live up to it once again.

Somehow, sometimes I just can't contain whatever I wanna say. I just blurt out everything and anything that's on my mind >.< Then I'll regret for not being patient enough. Now, that's one of the reasons I hate myself sometimes. I shall not elaborate on the other stuff that make me hate myself =S And yes, I shall start learning how to forgive myself...I really need to =)

XOXO,
Me

Women's Rights

Well, something happened to me today...I shall not say what...

But, I'm very sure now that I understand how other women feel when their rights and dignity are violated.

It's like sometimes we do not make it a big deal because we feel that there's no need to complicate things further.

However, when we do not make it an issue, men think that they have the authority and power because they know that we won't do anything and that we are vulnerable.

So...I'm still a bit disturbed but at the same time I sympathise them for they do not how to think with their brains.

It's ok, I shall forgive them...

Women are humans as well ok? Without women, alot of things cannot be achieved as women have the will power most men do not possess.

Oh well, I shall not go on and on about women's strength...=P

All I wanna say is, I'm kinda pissed for not standing up for myself. I should have been more couragous. *sigh* Now I kinda regret but then if I had stood up for myself everyone would be upset. ARRGGGHHHH! I don't know...=S

XOXO,
Me

It's moments like this...

...I wish I was a guy

I hate it when I wanna let some tears out because of frustration but they just wouldn't come out.

I hate it when I know that nothing's changed but I can't be who I am.

I hate it when I'm emotional.

I hate it when I have nothing to say anymore.

I hate it when I'm typing this post because I hate what I'm feeling right now.

I hate it when I start to think incoherently.

And most of all...



I hate it when I say I want to sleep early but ending up sleeping late!!!!

I hate myself!

p/s: If I can't wake up tomorrow morning, I have myself to blame >.<

XOXO,
Me

A New Start

Today is the day...

Uni starts and I have to make sure I sleep early and wake up early...

Not gonna be like last sem, where I slept late and woke up early...and then feel sleepy the whole day the next day...

Woke up at 10am today, had my breakfast and here I am...

Still listening to that particular song...

But everything's different now...

The truth is exposed but I'm sure nothing has changed!

Thank God for that...I am truly blessed =)

Faith n obedience - that's what I learnt in yesterday's bible study...

Shall elaborate more the next time...

XOXO,
Me

History repeated itself -.-

Why?! Why?!

Arrggghhhh...I'm so pissed with myself >.<

Just in 7 months being in Adelaide, I've already wet my pants, let me see....thrice!!

And 2 out of 3 times, my bible was in my bag!!

I wet my bible twice! =S

Nevermind, I shall tell you guys how I wet my pants the last 2 times some other time.

Feeling so tired and sleepy...gotta go and sleep now.

zzzZZZ......

XOXO,
Me

Forbidden Love (?)

It's lunchtime...

And I'm having my lunch in my room because all of my friends are in the city >.< style="font-style: italic;">Nick stepped back, his arms falling heavily by his sides, and looked at her in disbelief.
'You're actually going to throw away this all away because you're an inverted snob,' he said angrily.
'If you like,' said Laura, keeping all her emotions in check with one last herculean effort.
'You're a coward,' he said, his voice harsh, his fists clenched. He shook his head. 'Coward.'
She turned and walked towards the car, and when she reached it she took the keys out and, trembling, tried to unlock it. Her hands were shaking. He watched her as she opened the door.
'You know, I actually thought I might be falling in love with you,' he said quietly. He stepped away, turned around and walked towards the house, and didn't turn back once.
Laura drove out of the stables, onto the long, wide driveway, not daring to look in the mirror in case she caught sight of Chartley behind her, or the figure climbing the steps at the front to disappear inside. Tears rolled down her cheeks; she gripped the steering wheel and put her foot on the accelerator.
'The trouble is, I'd already fallen in love with you,' she said softly to herself, as she reached the end of the long, long drive, and turned onto the main road, back towards home."

(Evans 2006, p. 316)

*sob* I wonder if they'll end up together...gonna read it later...It's been ages since I read a romantic novel. The last time I cried reading a novel was last year when I read A Walk to Remember. The book and the movie had some differences. All in all, I still prefer the book simply because it's the original story AND it's way more touching than the movie. Many people, like me, do not know why the story is called "a walk to remember" and think that maybe it's because they had one last walk together =P The real reason is when Jamie fell sick, she could hardly stand on her own 2 feet and it took her a huge amount of effort to walk down the aisle on her wedding day, hence the title "A Walk to Remember" =')

XOXO,

Me

...

Woke up today, feeling a pang of sadness come over me...

I'm not sure why I felt that way. but I think it's caused by several reasons:

1. J came knocking on my door, bidding her goodbye because she's leaving today
2. Received an sms from my best friend, N, since Form2 saying that she dreamt of me and because she misses me so much
   
3. I came online and the first song I listened to was that song...
4. Classes are resuming next week and I haven't gotten enough of the holidays
   

Reason no.1 was a little illogical but still I think humans are like that, when we spend time with certain people most of our waking time...when it comes to the time to separate...somehow you'll have this strange feeling of sadness. Or I'm just being too emotional?

I wanted to hug N tightly and tell her that she'll always be my best friend so badly! I still remember in Form3, we kind of had an argument over something really really stupid (I can't remember what) and we were giving each other the cold shoulder. However, I guess friendship wins over pride. Both of us decided to send each other an e-mail to apologise. And you know how people used to say "sorry seems to be the hardest word"? Well, we did it! We made this promise to stay as best friends even though we're old, married and have grandchildren ^_^ and so I replied her sms telling her that we must always keep in touch no matter how far apart we may be. *sniff* OMG! I just realised I still have that e-mail N sent me!! Awww~ This is a part she wrote:

'ee lin' i say please stay
give our 'friendship' a chance for one more day
we'll try to work things out
taking time is what 'friendship's' all about
-FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY -

I know you don't read my blog, busy preparing for STPM and all...but IF you ever come across this post, I'm sorry I get on your nerves sometimes too =P Can't wait to see you at the end of the year!! I'll strive here...while you strive back home! ;) Let's watch ALL the movies released in the cinemas, scaring the shit out of ourselves, laughing like nobody's business and crying like our dog just died XD

Talking about N reminds me of a naughty thing we did =P Luckily there weren't any 'casualties'. One time we were in the cinema watching this horror movie and suddenly I got a msg from this unknown person asking "me" where i was and that "she" missed "me" something like that...and she sounded like she's some naggy girlfriend or some sort so I replied "I'm sorry to tell you but I wanna break up with you" >.<

Reason no.3, 我实在不明白我自己，明明一切已经没事了，怎么一醒来就去听那首歌曲？一旦喜欢上一个人，就难以自拔的我，已经浪费我中学时光在一个不喜欢我的人的身上。这次，我学聪明了，不再浪费时间和精神在这样的人的身上。但是，明明已经告诉自己不要再胡思乱想，却每次听xx语的歌曲，脑海就情不自禁的想起他来。

不行！我一定要找回开朗的自己！;)

第一次

这是我第一次使用中文update我的部落格。

今天真的真得很开心因为我不再因没有原因而感到伤心或忧愁。

我和他的关系也像以前一样，是好朋友没有改变。

这样的结果也许对我们来说是最好的吧！

伤心和忧愁不是完全因为他，而是，一切的一切。

有时候太空闲的时候，头脑有太多的思想空间就会东想西想，就会不知不觉感到忧虑。。。

其实自己很讨厌这样的自己，所以从今天开始，以后再也不要想那么多，令到自己不开心。

一切都交托于他的手中。。。　

Cheery Cherry...

...I used to be.

I'm gonna find my old self back!!!

Currently addicted to a song sung by Celine Dion and some guy called Love Lights Up the World.

It is not a romantic love song but love in general...Everytime I listen to the chorus, I feel so so so depressed because...nevermind.

The lyrics goes like this:

Somewhere in this world
Someone shed a tear
Somebody just like you
Feels the way you do

Somewhere in this world
Someone understands
Another needs a helping hand
Help them if you can

I can touch you where you are
We both share every star
'Cause a common thread runs through

Life means much the same to all
So let's tear down every wall
And build a bridge from me to you

When will we put fear aside?
Why can't we throw away false pride?
Every heart will glow when
Love lights up the world

No need to walk in the dark
We don't have to stand so far apart
Every heart will know when
Love lights up the world

Mothers everywhere
Babies at their breast
One love is like the rest

A universal bond
All around the world

Children laugh and play
Every boy and girl
The future of the world

As time continues on

I can touch you where you are
We both share every star
'Cause a common thread runs through

Life means much the same to all
So let's tear down every wall
And build a bridge from me to you

When will we put fear aside?
Why can't we throw away false pride?
Every heart will glow when
Love lights up the world

No need to walk in the dark
We don't have to stand so far apart
Every heart will know when
Love lights up the world

When will we put fear aside?
Why can't we throw away false pride?
Every heart will glow when
Love lights up the world

Love is gonna light this whole world

No need to walk in the dark
We don't have to stand so far apart
Every heart will glow when
Love lights up the world

Love lights the world
Love lights the world
Let me hear it one more time

Love lights the world
And it shines on you
Love lights the world

Love lights the world

Love lights the world
Love lights up the world
And it shines on you

Love lights the world
Love lights up the world
Love lights the world
Love lights up the world
Love lights up the world
Love lights up the world

p/s: sorry for what I've done, guys...Please be patient with me as God is still working on me =')

Depressed

I'm more depressed than ever....ever!!

After receiving a phone call from a friend, G, I'm depressed...

So heartbroken...

A bible verse to keep me sane:
(can't remember which book, which chapter and verse =S will go find out)
The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart and saves such as have a contrite spirit

Sorry, I Lied

Guys...I think you know who you are...

Sorry, I lied...I wasn't in my room sleeping.

I was running away from the world.

I know it's crazy to talk to you guys through this blog, but I just can't face you guys.

I don't know how to express myself anymore.

Dress to impress?

*laughs hysterically*

Nah...never! For me, at least...

I may not be perfect but I' m always me...

So...guess what I did today! I, being so me, went for a walk in Morialta Conservation Park in pyjamas and slippers!! Yep! You guys "heard" that right...pyjamas and slippers! Woohoo~

It's not that I always wear pyjamas everywhere in Penang. In fact I've never really worn pyjamas out, unless I'll be sitting in the car waiting for my parents to do their stuff =D

It was super duper fun...Not caring what people think of you.

For the first time in ages, I could do something as crazy as this. Well, it might not sound crazy to some people but it might be to my friends here. Cause I've been wanting to wear my pyjamas when I go out but many a times, my friends will ask me to go change...hehe~

At first I imagined myself as a mental patient who was on the loose...haha...I have to admit, my pyjamas did look a little like a mental patient's except for the teddies and duckies all over them =P I did get quite a number of stares but I didn't care. I just walked in and admired the greenery around me. It was definitely a sight for sore eyes!! After that I was thinking: What if people think I'm some kind of psycho trying to commit suicide in the park? That thought made me wanna laugh out loud! Yeah right...committing suicide with a phone and room key in one hand. =D


And there's where the saying "There's always a blessing at the end of every wrong turn" comes into the picture. I took the wrong road. Instead of turning right to the first falls, I made a left turn to some muddy and steep road. As I walked up that road, I started panting a little...and then...*speechless* how spectacular the scenery was from up there! I guess that's the "blessing" I got...Wow~


After snapping a few pictures, I turned back and took the road that I should've taken. As I walked further in, the strong wind blew harder and harder on my face, making it so numb I wasn't even sure if my face was still there! >.< Seeing the waterfalls makes me think of a song called "Indescribable". The lyrics go something like this:

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the way back to my hostel, I started to think again.

Haha~ Thinking...that's what I do best.

Why do people judge you by what you wear? Who made the rule that pyjamas should be worn to bed and office-wear should be worn to work etc. If everyone wears pyjamas to work and office-wear to sleep, then it would be a norm because everyone does it. You get what I mean? Ahh...I don't understand myself either =P Just a thought...Now another question comes to my mind...Why do women wear high heels?! LOL...besides wanting to be taller and to make their butts higher or something (no offence to those wearing heels). I once read in a health magazine that high heels are a form of modern-day feet-binding and I couldn't agree more! We as humans are made to walk on our flat (but arched) feet, why wear high heels that can cause health problems? OK, I know some of you are already thinking: I'm sure you'll wear high heels one day! I'm not completely against it or anything, I'm just curious. Please don't bombard me with negative comments! >.<

Anyway, I feel much much fresher after having a walk with nature. Fresh air....*inhales deeply*

On my way in...

Teddies on my pj's =D

On my way up the wrong road =S

On the way down...

Ahh...Finally!

On the way out...*thinks*

That's all guys...one of my boring days =D

Crap, I'm feeling hungry already...hehe~

XOXO,
Me

Misunderstood

After talking to E, I realised that whatever I type in my blog doesn't 100% reflect my thoughts because as I've said it before I don't really know how to express my thoughts in words.

Once I try to express them in words, they come out totally different from what I was thinking =S

Then again, I give up...

Maybe not give up totally but maybe I'll try not to force myself in expressing my thoughts in words...

*sweat*

Anyway, wanted to share something with you guys but it's getting late and I don't feel like typing too much.

So, stay tune to what I'm going to share with you!! ;)

XOXO,
Me

Untitled

Was chatting with a friend and I realised that I am a person who is very hard to understand.

I may feel something but don't show it.

I have things to say but I don't know how to say it.

I think of stuff but I don't know how to put my thoughts in words.

I may look angry but I'm not.

I may feel sad but I look angry.

I feel angry but I look normal.

And yes...everytime when I'm not sure how to express my feelings and thoughts, I say "nevermind"

*sigh*

Am I just another complicated girl, just like what everyone says? - Girls are complicated creatures.

XOXO,
Me

Right or Wrong?

I've made my decision....

Although I'm not quite sure if it's right...

Maybe...I should just let go...

Or maybe not...

I shall wait and see what happens...

Time will tell...

Or maybe not...

Only God knows...

This may not make sense to some...

But it doesn't matter...

XOXO,
Me

Bored n Lazy

I just had my lunch and here I am, updating my blog because I've been receiving complaints about how seldom I update my blog =P

Right now, I'm just feeling super bored and lazy to do anything. Still in my pyjamas. Woke up this morning to have breakfast with E, then went to her room to chat until I fell asleep on her bed until lunch time -.-" great...

I need a shower but I'm lazy...I want to read Hopeless Romantic but I can't stop imagining myself as the female character in the novel...I feel like walking around the neighbourhood but it's too cold outside...I want to sleep all day but I'd be wasting my time...

Another week and holidays will be over!!! ARRGGGHHHH!! I'm panicking...I'm dreading classes already ='( My results are still not out...that freaks me out the most...=S

Anyway, was watching this Japanese drama series with one of my friends, D, last night. The drama is about this man who couldn't get married because of his weird personality (I think) and the drama basically revolves around this man's life. One thing I noticed from Japanese and Korean drama series is that when women and men of certain age are not married, their family or friends would arrange some sort of meeting for them with men or women so that they could find their marriage partner. I just don't get it. What's wrong with being single your whole life?! Ok, maybe nothing's wrong, but why?! Besides no one taking care of you, I think it's fun being single...although I myself have to admit that sometimes it's better to have someone by your side. How do people actually get married after looking at each other's pictures, go out on a few dates without even knowing that person well enough?? Isn't that freaky?? What if you end up marrying someone who's totally not meant for you and that's it...your whole life is ruined!? You only have one life...One true love...One soulmate...One marriage...

Maybe I was wrong about the "one marriage" part since people nowadays get divorced when they find that they're not suitable for each other. They may be fortunate enough to get divorced (not that I agree with getting a divorce) but what about those women out there who are not as "fortunate"? They suffer in silence for the sake of their kids, because they're not capable enough to be independent, they're too scared to stand up for themselves etc.?? Hmmm...so many questions need an answer. And why is it that men are always the dominating one? I've asked this questions to my guy friends before at the table during breakfast - Why is it that when a man has an affair, it's forgivable but when it's the woman who has an affair, the husband finds it so hard to forgive? And why is it that when a girl burps people find it unacceptable but when a guy burps it's totally acceptable? Aren't we all the same? Humans made by God? Then why are there so much stereotyping? In certain aspects I do agree that each gender has their strengths and weaknesses but certain aspects I just totally don't get it. *sigh*

See the results of being bored and lazy? My mind starts to wander around...thinking about Why questions @.@

I promise I shall not blog unless I have some interesting stuff to tell ok?? =D

Currently listening to:

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love
Along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow, kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream
Led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God bless the broken road
That led me straight to you

- Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts -

Now this reminds me of a quote from New York Minute - There's always a blessing at the end of every wrong turn - which I find it quite true. Sometimes we ask "why me?" "why now?" but we often dwell in the negative side of the situation that we are not able to see the blessing God has in store for us. Haha~ This sounds familiar...I read it in one of my e-mails about Curses and Blessings.

Oh man!! See how much I've digressed?!!? Totally out of "topic" XD

'Till next time! ;)

XOXO,
Me

Privacy

Oops~

I forgot something...better type this before I go to bed.

Since so many people know my blog already...I shall not uncover my secrets =P

In future, if I ever uncover any of my secrets, I'd not use the initial of that person.

Any initials that represent your name are just purely coincidential.

'Nite peeps!!

"Family" Outing

woohoo~

The day before yesterday, all of us (G, B, E, K and I) woke up early to start on our journey to Cleland Wildlife Park. Our driver, K, said that we'd be leaving at 9am SHARP, but I guess his 9am was "blunt" XD When I went down to the dining hall to have my breakfast, the only person I saw was E, preparing her breakfast. So, I thought, cool! I still have time for breakfast...hehe~ and so we ended up leaving HH at around 9:15am.

Oh no, I can't really remember EVERY single detail now...anyway, I think that day was the day I really knew how the Adelaide street directory works =P Before that I didn't even bother to find out how it works 'cause I don't drive and the people here who know how to drive know their way to their destinations.

It was super duper cold at Cleland!! Good thing I brought along my jacket although I hate the pink hood. Nevermind that, that morning, I was having a dilemma on whether I should bring my jacket because I felt so warm in the morning with the rays of sunshine shining through my window which made me sweat a little already. In the end, I did not wanna take the risk of catching a cold or anything...so I brought it! haha~

Cleland wasn't exactly fun but it was fascinating seeing the animals and their behaviours. They were a great bunch to observe and the air there was super fresh despite the "smelliness" of animal dungs at certain spots. *arrggghhhh* While walking along the path to the birds section, we literally had to watch where we were going 'cause there were shit everywhere on the floor! Big pile, small pile, scattered pile...you name it, they've got it! >.<

I only knew that kangaroos and wallabies are cousins that day. They look almost alike I couldn't even tell them apart. We had fun feeding them, having their saliva on our hands...haha...K was busy bullying them, putting food on the head of one kangaroo (or was that a wallaby?) so that the other kangaroo would eat from its head. *sigh* animal cruelty =D

E attempted to kiss a kangaroo but I failed to capture a pic of that moment cause the kangaroo was restless and couldn't stop moving. G, B's girlfriend, wanted to see the animals mate cause K said it was interesting to look at...*ROTFL*

Us at Cleland Wildlife Park

After going through 'obstacles' (smelling and avoiding animal dung, nearly got attacked by a 'macho-looking' bird, and got dirt stuck on my shoes), we proceeded to Hahndorf, a German village to have lunch!! Food, glorious food!! We were starving!! We had German sausages and mushroom soup...it was super duper yummy!! *drools*

Lunch at Hahndorf

Our next stop after lunch was Mt. Lofty. K, who has a female alter ego, was craving for cheesecake and so we kind of decided to have cheesecake there but the cafe was closing ever-so-slowly. Haha~ At least we were in time to catch the sunset...I think...and managed to snap a few pictures leaving.

Sunset - is this the beginning or is this the end?

Off we went in search for cheesecake. First K drove to this hotel but guess what?!?! The kitchen was closed! -.-" *sweat* Nevermind. So we went to another place and tadah! There was cheesecake! I ended up having a piece of chocolate mud cake after having seen the HUGE piece of cheesecake. While stuffing ourselves with cake, we discussed about which movie we were going to watch after reaching back and all of us decided on A Walk to Remember!!!!!!! <3 A Walk to Remember is my favourite movie after Titanic...I can watch a hundred times and never get tired of it...Friends who know me know I totally dig anything romantic =D After watching that movie, I can't help but to imagine myself being in Jamie's (the female main character) shoes. How does it feel like having someone you love so much but you can't be together with them forever? Back to the topic. I think that's about it...after watching that movie, I came back to my room, chatted with friends from Malaysia, catching up with each other's lives again.

p/s: I know I'm long-winded but I don't know why I tend to be very detailed in telling stuff so please bear with me.

p/p/s: I can't seem to find a journal I like to start on...Journals here are either ugly or expensive =S I miss writing a journal. Actually planned to start a new chapter of my journal this year when I came cause I thought I'd be on a new journey, meeting new and different people, and doing different things but it's already July and I haven't even started...*sigh* Maybe if I eventually find a journal, I'll abandon this blog XP

Holidays & Memories

It's already the 3rd week of my holidays since I finished my exams right before my other friends sat for theirs. What have I been doing, alot may ask. To be truthful, I don't think I did much...or maybe I did. I started tidying my room right after exams, then I abandoned it for a few days until I had the mood to tidy up again. Whilst waiting for my friends' exams to be over, I took up the responsibility as a nanny to wake them kids up to study...*laughs* Well, basically all I did was nag, nag and nag. =D

On the 3rd day of my holiday, I caught up with Jennifer, whom I knew since college days. We went walking around Rundle Mall shopping for the stuff I needed to get. Due to some miscommunication, we didn't have lunch together so we decided to have our dinner at Rundle Spices instead. Suddenly I felt like we were back to our college days...we were talking and laughing like how we used to...all we did was eat and catch up with each other's lives. Although we are in Adelaide, we don't see each other much 'cause she lives in the city whereas I live in a suburb. Sometimes I do chat with her a little online but that doesn't compare to having a chat face to face. As usual, we'll update each other about some guy stuff...and we had questions on what true love is and if it really does exist. Our common friend is seldom single...after each breakup, she'll be attached again. I asked her once if she did love her boyfriend and she said yes, but I've always been curious...how do you actually transfer ur "love" from one person to another person so quickly?! So, we kind of ended up having a little debate on what true love actually is...and I guess different people have different views...maybe it's the way they were brought up, or maybe it's what they have experienced...i don't know...maybe...maybe...

Anyway. besides meeting up with old friends, I've been to the State Library to borrow stacks of DVDs to watch. Well, not exactly stacks, but they were enough to keep me occupied when I felt bored. Been having weird mood swings as well. Friends who know me well enough will know that I tend to be more emotional during the holidays because it is the only time when I have so much time in my hands that my mind will start thinking all sorts of stuff...about life, love, friendship etc. I think I've been quite annoying 'cause of my mood swings...so, sorry guys (whoever reads this and knows what I'm talking about)!! =')


Since my friend, A, says that my blog shouts out "get outta here!!" cause my blog is all black and no pictures posted...I shall post up some pics I took before leaving for Australia. Crap...going to be emo again...I need a hug.

My first college prom ever!! - Aug '06

Last SAM gathering - Jan '07

Reminds me of movies and food =P

Jennifer's farewell at the new Swatow Lane (?)

Reminds me of high school and Taekwondo - January '07

Remember this Malay guy at Kapitan?? XD

p/s: hey, sorry guys if I haven't been visiting your blogs or drop comments...I don't know why since I came here, I have so many things to do other than online. Maybe 'cause I'm trying not to use too much of internet...anyhow, I still visit your blogs once in a while...all I can say is I still can't believe that I'm already a university student and is currently studying in a foreign land where I don't have my mom and dad with me...I have to make my own decisions and I am glad they trust me with financial stuff.

So blessed...

So blessed, I can't contain it

So much You've gotta give it away...(One Day - Hillsong)

*speechless* = |

I can't believe it!!!

In just 2 days, I missed the bus thrice!!

Wait....

In a week, I've missed the bus 4 times...

In fact, my week is not even over yet...I wonder if there'll b anymore bus-missing =.=

Well, what happened was this:
My friend came into my room last night, and I was sitting at my desk, chatting with ppl on msn...she came and stood right next to my air cond./heater...since it was really cold these few nights, I turned on the heater. So, she found it quite hot standing next to it and turned it to cold air...by the time we finished talking and stuff, it was already 3:30am AND I had to wake up at 7:30am...usually if I sleep late, I would be able to wake up the next morning (the same day) to go to class...BUT the twist is...I forgot to turn the heater on...so I felt sooo cold this morning even though I was under my blanket!! My friend called my room to wake me up, instead of turning on the lights and logging onto the internet to check the weather, I went straight back to bed cause I just wanted to be under the blanket....

moments later....*knock knock knock*

I opened the door and to my horror, my friend was standing there, all dressed up!! o.O
"Do you know what time is it now?! It's 9am already!!"
Obviously, even I start changing and stuff, I would be late for my 9 o'clock lecture...so I decided to skip the lecture and attend the tutorial after that which is at 10am. After sleeping for 10 mins, I woke up, got dressed, skipped breakfast and grabbed a brunch bar to be eaten on the way...and I thought everything would turn out fine...before I could reach the bus stop, I saw the bus passed by right in front of my eyes!!! O.O And I thought to myself "shit! don't tell me I missed the bus again!!" So I continued my walk to the bus stop anyway, hoping that the bus I saw was actually the earlier bus which was late. I waited and waited and waited in the cold at the bus stop...for 20 mins! No bus in sight...So I guess I'm gonna skip my tutorial as well...I didn't wanna walk in the cold, especially after I skipped my breakfast...I think there would be a high possibility that I would just faint by the roadside...yeah, you've guessed it, I crossed the street and walked back to my hostel and here I am, typing this *sweat* post! -.-"'

ok, maybe I shall get back to snuggling in my blanket until 11 something....hopefully I won't miss the 12:30pm bus! =P

Have a great day, guys!! miss ya loads! <3

Darkest days of my life...

the past 2 weeks were the darkest days of my life...I juz felt like hope was gone and nothing matters anymore...hehe~ sounds scary? anyway, that was how I felt la...I felt like I didn't wanna carry on what I'm doing anymore. those days were the times when u need big bear hugs the most, but I juz couldn't really fine someone who can hug me as tight as possible...not because there's no one who would do that, but I couldn't possibly go up to someone and say "can i have a big bear hug?" that would be so damn weird...

so, u would be asking y i felt the way i felt for the past 2 weeks. simple...2 words: stress & assignments. ok, maybe 4 words, + exams coming. and as unorganised as I am, I tend to get stressed out really really easily, exerting unnecessary pressure on myself sometimes I feel like I can no longer breathe o.O

I can still remember last Mon., when I was having breakfast alone in the dining hall, Phyllis, our resident pastor suddenly came over and asked me if I was doing OK. As down as I was at that moment, I didn't think much....all I did was tell her I felt better compared to last week, and she immediately offered to pray for me. My tears flowed down my cheeks as she prayed. it wasn't because of the prayer, it was because I was missing home before that and worrying about my assignments and stuff and someone actually cared. so I guess I was weak and couldn't take it anymore...she was there with me while I was sobbing and sniffing...so I asked her if she could give me a hug...and she did, a big tight bear hug!

after that I felt soooo much better after that...I went to the state library to use the internet after my Human Physiology class. I was checking thru my e-mails when I came across this e-mail from Janice, my Bible Study (BS) group leader. as I read her e-mail, my tears started to flow down again! I know I know, I sound like some princess who can't stand hardship of some sort...nvm that. I realised that I am not as strong as I thought I was...my friend Esther actually said that it's a good thing this way...cause God can touch me more easily which I think it's quite true...=)) I was actually touched by Janice...cause she even cared to send me an e-mail to ask about my week...although I juz got to know her a few months back, she even cared to give me words of encouragement...she's definitely my sis in Christ! and I really thank God for her =')

now all I need to worry about is my Human Physiology presentation on Mon. and how to NOT procrastinate in doing my assignments...hehe~

anyway, this post is so pointless...juz to let u guys know what has been happening in my life in Australia...

'Eventful' Day

Everything that I'm gonna say happened on Monday (23rd of April)...

That day was my friend, XX's (not Xiaxue) birthday, so after my class at 12pm, I sms-ed my friend, E, to ask her if she wants to go hunt for a birthday gift for XX together and so we decided to meet up outside McD. As expected, I ended up eating at McD whilst waiting for E...

Because the inside of McD was packed, I tumpang an old man's table together with another man who couldn't find a place to sit. The old man was friendly, he talked to me about my studies and stuff whereas the other man was super unfriendly, he kept showing his long face...and something that really bothered me was that most of the people here smoke. I think 8 out of 10 smoke here. The old man was smoking but he was considerate enough not to huff n puff RIGHT in front of me. So after talking for a while, the old man left me eating there with the other man. It was way awkward cause we didn't utter a word to each other at all and I tried to keep myself occupied by watching the world go by, which in fact I love to do. Mana tau, he took out a cigarette and started huffing n puffing....*sigh* I just felt like telling him off but decided not to, just in case he's some gangster...=S

When that man left, I was super relieved...no more cigarette smoke! After a few mins, 3 females came and asked me if anyone else was sitting with me so I said no and ushered them to sit down. They were really friendly, and I got to know that 1 of the women was the girl's mom and the other woman was her aunt. They were from Brisbane to visit the girl who's studying here. All of a sudden, I heard excited screaming...that kind of screaming you hear when you're at a concert...I turned around to see a bunch of teenage girls with hp (with cameras) and digital cameras going after a bunch of black guys. They were walking right pass me. Well, the first thing that came into my mind was that they must be some popular celebrities but I couldn't recognise them. So I asked the girl next to me, and she said it was Chris Brown!!! That US black singer!! When I turned around to take a look at his face again, all I saw was the backs of the crowd crossing the road. *sigh* Unexpectedly, they walked pass me again for the 2nd time...woohoo~ and this time I got a clear view of his CUTE face!! <3 and the girl next to me got a pic of him on her digital cam.

So the females were talking among themselves and I was minding my own business........until that girl took out a box of cigarettes and I immediately thought to myself: shit! she's gonna smoke in front of me!! help!! how can her mom allow her to smoke?! this ain't right...smoking is bad for health! -.-" Before I could hold my breath, she already lit her cigarette and I was choking and coughing already...It was damn bad...and she asked "Do you mind if I smoke?" and believe me, I was coughing so badly I couldn't answer her question. The girl said to her aunt and mom "I think we'd better go some place else to smoke, we're killing this poor girl...see, she's coughing already, we're gonna make her sick" and so they moved to the other table and it didn't do any good either cause the wind was blowing my direction and they were at the table opposite me.

When they finally went away, I felt damn relieved...phew~ when....the guy at the table next to me started smoking! My gosh...why do people smoke?! It's such a waste of money and it doesn't even do any good to your health! Since I came to aus, I always have this feeling that I'm not gonna die of old age, but because of 2nd-hand smoke! Even students at my hostel smoke...and they usually smoke at the balcony right outside my room... o.O

Anyway, back to my day...

I went window-shopping after having my McD lunch because winter's nearing and I need more warm clothes. I saw this shirt I particularly like and tried it on in the fitting room. After admiring myself in the full-length mirror for ages, I thought I'd better not buy it cause it wasn't that practical. As I was getting ready to come out of the fitting room, I realised the fitting room was unusually empty! Where was my bag?! Shit! I must have left it at McD!! I can't describe to you how nervous I was!! I rushed back to the same spot I was sitting a few minutes ago and thankfully, my bag was still sitting on the exact same chair I was sitting on...My heart was racing like mad...I was so so so thankful that it was not stolen because I practically had my "everything" in that bag - mobile phone, wallet and my room key. -.-"

Met up with esther, told her what happened before she showed up and we went shopping for XX's b'day present.

Upon reaching our hostel, I changed into my new long-sleeve shirt, tights and a denim skirt. I felt so weird cause I never dressed so feminine since I reached here...and I wore my contact lenses for the first time since February. We took off to this seafood restaurant somewhere near Tee Tree Plaza to have dinner! The dinner was OK, I ate until my stomach looked like a pregnant lady's...I was so so so full...*BURP*

p/s: I'm lazy to type liao...till next time!!

Back from E-camp!!

*inhales deeply* I'm finally back from E-camp which was organised by OCF (Overseas Christian Fellowship)!! woohoo~ Well, one reason I'm thrilled to be back is I missed my bed in my room so much...and the other reason is I've learnt alot in E-camp...I am contented. =)

As a christian my whole life, I have never been close to God although sometimes I do go to church every Sunday. When I come across obstacles in life, I do not turn to Him, instead I do things based on my own limited strength...which is obviously not enough. Now, my faith is renewed, and I shall turn to Him all the time, during good times and the bad. Being christian is no easy task as we need to serve God...it doesn't matter how much and how big ur contributions are, as long as you have the heart to. Now I feel like I'm born again!! He always loves me no matter who I am and what I've done and that is the greatest love of all!! <3>In the dining hall)
I was playing cards with a group of friends and because I wasn't quite sure about the rules, I wanted to swap places with a guy friend, K, who was sitting next to me, so that my friend, E, who was sitting next to K could help me with the game. As I stood up, I kinda jokingly said "wah...your chair must be super hot now!" and I guess there was some misunderstanding. K moved his chair when I wanted to sit down....so I kinda "fell" and K caught me by the waist! Just for your info, K is already taken...and there were so many other people around, and since my friends used to tease us both, I guess both of us were quite embarrassed.

It's ok if you guys didn't find that embarrassing cause I am very very bad in relating stuff again.
so, that was on the 4 days of my 1+ week Easter holiday =) I'll try my best to update my blog as often as I can....so stay tune! haha~ =D

XOXO,
Me