I wonder...

what would have happened if I had continued studying postgraduate in Psychology straight after my fourth year of undergraduate studies?

It's quite amazing how things turn out. I remember one thing my lecturer said...it always comes to time. Sometimes something that seems good at a time would not necessarily be a good thing when you're in the future; and something that seems so terrible at a time would turn out to be a blessing afterwards. I completely agree to that because I have experienced this myself.

I still remember in year 2011, I had a huge fight with my family and even went on a hunger strike. And I didn't even celebrate my birthday then. Needless to say, I was feeling very miserable then. So I was determined to find a job, any job be it full-time or part-time, I just needed to keep myself occupied. So I started working as a part-time retail assistant, which turned out to be the biggest blessing in my life. Not only did I get to experience working in a retail industry, I also made a group of really good friends! After more than two months, I decided I needed a change of working environment so off to XX education counselling centre I went!

Well, I have mixed feelings about my 2nd job. What I loved about it was that I only had to go to work at 11am, which allowed me to sleep in a little. And because I was still working on a part-time basis, I wasn't expected much in terms of responsibilities. To be honest, I don't remember what I did the whole 6 months there, except for I don't know...having lazy moments and fooling around with my then colleague when our seniors weren't around.

One thing that never fails to make me laugh was my first impression of my then colleague (then, because now he's my friend...sort of. lol). First day of work and my boss was introducing me to the other 2 ppl in the office and he didn't even look up. I wasn't even sure if I should say hi or just walk to my 'corner'. Felt really awkward...until one day he asked if I wanted to go out for lunch. Honestly, I kind of felt relieved because I finally got to escape my corner for a while and OMG someone to talk to! *tears of joy* I haven't talked in the office at all since I started working there. You wouldn't know how torturing it is for me, a girl who talks non-stop 24/7 and laughs randomly when thinks of something funny. I think throughout that 6 months, I did change to become a person who controls myself a lot more - think before speaking etc.

Now 1 year and 3 months later, we're still friends...in fact we kept in touch quite a lot even after I've stopped working there. Then again, this makes me wonder...if I had gone into Masters right after my bachelor's degree, I wouldn't have worked as a RA and gotten to know my friends whom I'm still in close contact with; and if I hadn't changed jobs to work at XX education counselling centre, I wouldn't have gotten to know my then colleague, right? Oh, and not forgetting...I wouldn't have gotten the chance to drive around Penang and getting to know the roads! I've learnt the existence of so many roads in Penang just because I got lost a lot!

Just 2 months ago, I was contemplating to come to the UK or to defer it to next year because I wasn't mentally prepared to leave. However, my mom was determined to get me on that plane! lol. Well I think she did the right thing, if I hadn't gotten on that plane, I don't think I'd ever get myself to. Time really does fly...it's been 2 months...soon it'd be 3 months, 4 months...and then it'd be time to pack my bags and go home! A few nights ago when I was feeling terribly sick, I had a dream. In that dream, I felt the excitement of going home....I was happily packing all my things to be shipped home. I remember that smile on my face. I was genuinely happy. But of course when I woke up, the excitement faded.

Before I forget, I think staying back in Penang in 2011 was awesome because I also got to bond better with my college friends. We weren't exactly close back in college and when one of them went to Adelaide to complete her final year of undergraduate studies, we became a little closer. But it was our wed night market outings that got us much closer. As her bf is in Manchester, we always joke about how she's in a LDR with 2 people. lol. I think I tend to think way too much, like how when I get so excited to chat with her, I can't help but wonder if she feels the same or if she feels i'm way too annoying.

Anyway, I am so thankful for many things even though my life is not perfect. I am thankful for basically everything, even the bad and the ugly, because without them I wouldn't know how to appreciate the good things in life. To everyone who makes a difference in my life - I LOVE YOU!

This picture was taken in 2008, when I was having lunch with J in Adelaide. 

Love actually is all around. 

XOXO

 

Strange place

It's strange that no matter how stressed I feel about an exam or an assignment, I'd eventually drift into a different dimension when I'm doing my revision/assignment. Just an hour ago, I was studying with Taylor Swift's songs blasting through my earphones, & I found myself in a strange place. LOL I felt calm & was actually enjoying studying what I was studying. @.@ How bizarre.

Since we're on this topic, let me digress a little. When I was in high school, I'd always have my afternoon nap (which lasted for hours) right after my lunch. Yup, without changing, without showering, I'd just flop myself on the bed & drift into dreamland. I really LOVE sleeping. There's an indescribable feeling about it. Sleeping "solves" most of my problems. LOL Like that time when I came home after an SPM paper (I think it was physics), I came home feeling down, knowing that I did quite a few mistakes. I immediately transported myself to dreamland & when I woke up hours later, that paper incident just felt like it never happened! Not only that, when I get EXTREMELY HORRIBLE menstrual cramps, all I need is something hot to drink/eat AND sleep, & when I wake up, everything's back to normal.

These days, I look forward to bed time so much 'cause that's how I run away from reality, from all the stress I'm facing. Every morning, the moment I open my eyes, I think to myself "Gosh, back to reality!" That's my life these days...for those who are wondering what I'm up to.

XOXO,

Me

I know...

...I've been updating my blog so often lately.

I guess because lately I've been experiencing a whirlwind of emotions. LOL

Today's weather is just perfect although still chilly. At least the sun has finally decided to show itself.

Assignment is in good progress too I must say because I keep scaring myself with other deadlines & so I'm forced to just type & type although I haven't organised my thoughts well. I can always modify my essay when I'm done. =)

This friend of mine, who is totally pro-Korean has recommended my friends & I heaps of Korean songs. I must say that they're really good & I'm hooked to many of them. Even play them repeatedly every day. A few days ago I was totally unmotivated to do anything, so I learnt how to sing part of a Korean song. XD

For the past few days, I really wanna thank God that He has blessed me with so much in life! Although sometimes I feel like giving up, He's just this little voice in me that tells me that I can do it & that everything will be OK because nothing can ever happen to me without His permission. He also blessed me with good friends whom I can talk to when I'm in need, friends who don't pass judgments. Since first year of uni, He has blessed me with E in my life. It must be His plan to have her in my life, because she's a great sister in Christ! Thanks to her, I renewed my faith. How I miss the days in Hosanna...when we would pray for each other, especially during exam period.

Ah..I have too much on my mind & I'm not really good with words so I'll leave this post as it is. =)

This is the song I'm totally addicted to.

Though the tune sounds so happy & lively, the lyrics is a bit sad...kinda. Enjoy!

XOXO,
Me

I'm not alone.

Well, thank God I woke up today feeling myself again! Didn't feel as cold as 2 days ago. =) Was bored so I decided to blog hop. And I came across a kindergarten friend of mine! We kinda met each other again 2 years ago under a very funny (in a weird way) circumstance. I still have that kindergarten class photo sitting on the piano back home in Penang.

Anyway, I've learnt alot from her blog. About life, God and ourselves. I always thought that I was the only one struggling through university life. Reading her blog is freaky cause it's just like reading my life out of her blog. Last year, I used to blog about how I cannot be myself in Australia because I always feel out of place and it's not where I belong. Guess what?! She feels the same way too! "Probably because there is the familiarity of the environment and friends in Penang." is what she wrote. I feel exactly the same!

She also stated that it's not the place where she's studying in that is unpleasant to live in, but because of the stress that needs to be coped that is unbearable. Well, come to think of it, it's true. Adelaide is a nice place to live in, but because of the stress assignments and exams that are piled upon us make it feel like it's an unpleasant place to live in.

One of my weaknesses is that I'm unable to let go of the past and move on. I ponder on one thing too long and too often that sometimes I fail to live the present. Remember the post about Tuck Everlasting? Now I'm afraid of not living life to its fullest. So, hopefully, from now on I shall embrace every moment of my life and not think about the past.

Hope I'm making sense here. =) Anyway, got loads to do today.

XOXO,
Me

What would you do...

...if you could live forever?

I know it's my holidays and I shouldn't be getting myself into whirlwind of emotions since I should feel free, happy and worry-less.

Somehow, I stumbled upon the movie Tuck Everlasting at the state library while looking for something to occupy my time during the holidays. And cause I've seen it aired on Disney Channel but never gotten myself to sit down and enjoy the movie, I decided to have it a watch since it's a Disney production and I'm sure Disney movies wouldn't be a disappointment.

And yes, it was not a disappointment at ALL! It was good! I've never cried like that since I was a baby! Not exaggerating...I just cried and cried and sniff and sobbed like nobody's business (thank God my housemate, Jennifer, was out...LOL I'm sure she would've heard me sobbing). Really, it really got me thinking: Would I ever want to live forever?

At times, I thought how scary it is, to grow older and older each year, and every year, everything changes for better or for worse, whether you like it or not. Sometimes I think to myself, how nice it would be to be young and free forever...don't have to grow up, be a responsible adult, carrying all the burdens in the world on our shoulders.

*sigh* But at the same time, I feel excited for the future, I wanna know what it would be like working, maybe getting married, having kids, grandchildren...you know? And when you've fulfilled your dreams, I bet it'd feel great, looking back at pieces of memories of your life, knowing that you've lived life to the fullest. But what if we don't? What if we look back at our lives and regret the things we did or did not do or dreams that weren't fulfilled? It'd be so shitty, wouldn't it?

I'm not sure if I should tell the story of Tuck Everlasting here...maybe you guys can go read the book or watch the movie. The movie's based on an award-winning novel BUT you know how movies are, always somehow a little different from the book. Since I said the movie was great and made me cry like never before, I can assure you that the movies great! =)

It says on the DVD cover: If you could choose to live forever, would you?

And the most favourite quote from the movie is - You do not have to be afraid of death, but be afraid of not living.=')

The ending was ermmm...sad but good. I don't know how to explain..LOL I mean, good for her I guess but bad for him. OK, I'm babbling, a sign that says I should stop now. XP I'll probably tell the story another day...make sure whoever's reading this go and either read the book or watch the movie OK?! Oh! Before I forget *hehe* the male lead character!! He's sooo darn cute! Well I loved the female lead character too, she's Alexis Bledel who stars in Gilmore Girls.

Here are some production pictures from the movie =')

The DVD cover

Alexis Bledel as Winnie Foster & Jonathan Jackson as Jesse Tuck in Tuck Everlasting

XOXO,
Me

=')

Noticed the tear and the smile?

Sometimes it's so unbelievable that good, altruistic people still exist in our midst! Seriously, people nowadays are self-centered and selfish!

Reading this actually kinda blew me away!

XOXO,
Me

It's times like these...

...that we need to turn to Him more!
Been studying non-stop (with occasional breaks in between) & now when I step into my room and see my desk, I feel like throwing up...
I'm sick of books already...
When will this all end?!

Went to church today, and during Praise & Worship session, I nearly cried while singing this song.
I've been striving so hard to do well in my exams that sometimes I forget His faithfulness to me, leaving Him out of my life & letting Him in during good times!
So, now, I just need to do my best and leave the rest to Him!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After lunch, I got a phone call from a friend whom I had a same class with last year. She asked me tips on exams as she's taking a subject that I took last year. After catching up a little, she asked me if I've seen Emma (another girl in our class) around. Apparently, last year she had cancer...was juz initial stage and she tried calling her last few months but no one picked up. I was quite taken aback actually...never thought that someone you have contact with would have cancer. It's quite unbelievable if you ask me. Made me think of Karen Cheng, whom her husband had cancer and survived it and now living a very fulfilling life with her and kids!! Really makes you think twice on how you wanna spend your lifetime eh?

So, here's the song I wanna share with all my readers! Enjoy! ;)


XOXO,
Me

Still caught up...

...in a whirlwind of confusion.

I've said this before but I'm gonna say it again - I can't believe I'm turning 20 this year!!!!!
It's been 8 years since I left primary school....
...3 years since I left high school.
...2 years since I left college.

Time does fly when you're having fun. Just today, I was on the phone with an old friend and we couldn't believe that our Form 3 years are over. That was the year where I got closer to her...and the rest is just history.

So, turning 20 soon means that I have to face the grown up world sooner or later. Over the years, I've learnt that it is very important to be yourself. Being as naive as I was, I thought that as long as we're true to ourselves, we do not have to give a damn about what other people think or say. How very wrong I was. We live in a world where pleasing people is a "should-do". We can choose not to, but our social life will suffer tremendously. On the other hand, if we choose to please people, we suffer inside.

*at this point I'm not thinking coherently, so ignore whatever grammar mistakes there is*

Setting: High school Form 3, 2003; Classroom
Character: Y and I (E)

Y: E, you know, sometimes I admire you alot.
E: Oh? And y is that?
Y: I dunno...It's like I admire your principles.
E: My principles? *confused as I never knew I had principles, LOL*
Y: Yeah...You stick to them well. You're the kind of person who listens to people's suggestions, but decides yourself whether you wanna follow or not. That's a very good quality. You don't reject others' opinions straightaway, you listen then decide.
E: Ohhh...

That was what encouraged me to be myself. Listen but decide myself whether what I do is right or not. Unfortunately, I remember what people say too easily that it bothers me sometimes. I may be very happy but I'd feel down the moment I hear something that makes me think and wonder.

I ponder on what people say too much sometimes that I feel like I need to catch my breath.

I wanna be who I wanna be, but on the other hand, I care about what people say.

Sometimes we wanna say "I don't care what people think or say" but we can't. Cause nobody can just NOT care about what people think or say!!

I shall not reveal what's bothering me. I'll just say that my beliefs since I was young were shattered since I went to Aus because people there tell me what I SHOULD do and SHOULD not do. I'm confused. I wanna stand firm to my beliefs and yet I care about what people say. =S ARGH!! This is so bad.

Just came back from tea with SX and initially we had a really good conversation until he mentioned THAT. It made me feel confused again!!

N said "people change____ of their ____ because they feel insecure about it, if you're confident about _____ _____ then no need to change lo"

By now, you should've guessed what I'm talking about. Haih.

Guys...another thing I do not understand...I find it so hard to relate to this "species". =(

I guess it's a wonder how God made females and males so differently that we cannot live without either one of them.

When will this habit of my thinking change?? I can't sleep without finishing up this post cause I will think myself to sleep and I'll end up dreaming weird dreams...

I guess right now, this song relates to me the most...

Imperfect girl
I don't have a perfect smile
maybe I'm just too shy
I'm not a beauty queen
on covers of magazines
that's something you can't deny
I got my own style

So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

I wouldn't be classed as cool
I have to bend the rules
Maybe I don't fit in
I didn't always win
that's something you can't deny
I'm happy with my own style

So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

It's all just make-believe
The standards that we hear
It doesn't have to be
A perfect world, a perfect world

I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

I need some encouragement right now, but who will ever understand how I feel?

There is only One Person. God.

As I'm thinking, I remembered the book I've read last year. I've learnt alot from that book and I'll always remember. =) In it, there's a passage that goes like this:

“Accept yourself. Love yourself. Respect yourself…If my house is based on God’s word, then even when the rains of bad feelings and self doubt come, my house of self-esteem will stand firm because it is built on the rock of God’s unchanging truth, not my ever-shifting feelings about myself. Self-esteem is necessary for all psychological health, and there is no absolutely sure basis for self-esteem other than the assurance of God’s love for me.”

Yes, now i'm encouraged!! I shall not let bad feelings and self doubt rain on me! Whatever that is of this world is not important. We don't live for people, but for Him! It's what He thinks that matters!!

Whenever I feel like I'm drifting away from You, You give me the wisdom to ponder upon Your words and pick me up, drawing me nearer to You. And I thank You.

XOXO,
Me

Don't you just find it frustrating...

...when someone who doesn't even know what your nickname means makes assumptions?

Last night, after an encounter with annoying guys who act cool and all in front of their friends, I changed my nickname to:

Ee Lin 依灵 realises that guys are only nice when they're alone with you, they're jerks when they're around their friends

This morning, a primary school guy friend sent me a msg regarding my nickname AND assumed that I fell for a guy but he turned out to be a jerk!! What the....

Anyway, didn't wanna talk much to him either. We used to be the bestest friends. People say a guy and a girl can never be best friends but we did it...until of course he got too caught up into finding a gf and when he eventually did, he "ditched" me. Only came to me when he had problems with his gf...

*sigh* Seriously, best friends won't do that to you. They'll try to keep in touch with u no matter what, through the good times and the bad. That is why, I'm thankful to have my best friends N, JM, YX and KT!! Cause although we may be seas apart, we still try to keep in touch (via msn, e-mail, facebook etc.)

I guess life's like this. When a door closes, another opens. Sometimes I can't help but to look back at the closed door, but they say never frown over something that once made you smile. So...I guess I just have to be glad that happened, it taught me about life.

Hah!! Being a little emo...it's alright!! It's a brand new day...I'm gonna be happy happy happy!!

XOXO,
Me

A different path

Walked back from uni today...while walking I felt like taking a different route back.

And I must say, I did not regret taking a different route...the scenery was breathtaking...LOL maybe I'm exaggerating a little cause obviously there are other sceneries in the world that are more breathtaking but anyway, the flowers...different species of flowers all bloom in their fullest and I just can't help but think how amazing it is...God's creation!!

The other thing is that if I had never taken that route, I would never know there are better things in store for me...I wonder if this applies to P...

Oh yeah, not forgetting I got approached by 2 men from The Church of Jesus Christ of the latter days. They were spreading this gospel called Mormon. I've heard of it before but I never knew what it is about so I stood there "listening" (kinda felt sleepy after a while) and then they gave me 2 books of Mormon - 1 in English and 1 in Chinese. o.O

Okkkaaayyy...

XOXO,
Me

If tomorrow never comes...

...I'm sure I'd regret not doing the things I needed and wanted to do.

Just a few days ago, I suddenly got into one of my think-about-life modes. Was chatting with P and I got a LITTLE emo so I sent him a message wishing him all the best. As blur as he always is, he asked me, "all the best for what?" So I replied, "studies, friendship, life, present, future, good times, bad times, love etc." and he asked, "why suddenly say such thing..." I said, "cause u'll never know if there's a tomorrow...."

Apparently he got freaked out and sent my friend, E, a message to ask her what was up with me XP I just wanted the best for P even if I'm not the girl he's looking for in the future. I'm just so glad I got to know him as a really good friend, that's all.

The next day, I was in the mood to youtube. So I decided to look for the video to the song "Heaven" by DJ Sammy, which I set as my ringtone on my mobile. As I was searching for it, I stumbled upon this version of the song my friend, Prasana, sent me last year. It's a tribute to the 911 incident that happened in 2001 (i think =S). After watching it, tears actually rolled down my cheeks! *sob* I never wanna regret not telling the people I love that I love them. My parents came to my mind after that and I'm so thankful I have parents, parents who love me.

Yesterday night I got online and as I found my friend's name on my MSN online contact list, her personal message was: r.i.p. anthony
You know that something bad has happened when you see that 3 dreadful letters: RIP. Didn't manage to talk to her as I went offline early to go to bed. So I went online just an hour ago and I got her offline message saying that anthony's her friend she hasn't seen for a while. I don't know why but I had a feeling I needed to check her blog just in case she spilt everything there and yeah, she did. Overwhelmed by emotions again when I finished reading her blog.

It's true that friends make you who you are today, to a certain extent. My life wouldn't be the same if I hadn't known any of the people I know now. Was reading E's blog a moment ago as well and she said something about the world, truth and lies. How do we know if something is the truth or a lie, genuine or fake...And that some questions are just gonna be questions unanswered.

Too much has happened to the people around me... here's the tribute video to 911.

Thoughts

It's 1:51am...just finished writing my psychology essay synopsis. I think I did a crappy job, oh well...

Was listening to 真爱 by 183 Club，and the feelings when I first listened to this song came back to me...The song was a soundtrack to this Taiwanese drama series 王子变青蛙 (The prince who turned into a frog).

Used to be crazy over this series, mainly because of its romantic storyline and the handsome main male character...The story was more or less like a fairytale but I still love it!! Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a total sucker for romantic things =P

Can't believe that I was dreaming my whole high school and college life...thinking that fairytales do exist. Well, I still think that there's a fairytale designed for each and everyone, just that maybe all we have to do is to wait and see. The time will come. Everyone will have their own happy ending =)

After last week's bible study, JC (our bible study leader?) was saying something that goes something like this:
God has a plan for us and for example He has already chosen our life partner for us. Of course the one He chooses will be the perfect one for us but if we miss out on the perfect one, then we'll get the second best one. However, the result won't be as good as the perfect one. The good thing is that if you don't know who the perfect one is, then you'll never know what you've missed out.

Hmmm...it got me thinking...there are so many things in life...career, studies, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, decisions etc. We live life as it is but we'll never know which ones are the perfect ones. And I guess it's a good thing we don't know, or else we'll be living in regret all the time.

Life...

I'm in my last year of being a teenager, figuring out how life works...but yeah, I enjoy learning about life. Coming here has opened my eyes to the things around me and to the things unseen. Knowing the people here has broaden my horizon as well...Never thought I'd get to know great people here...Used to think that people can't really be trusted no matter how nice people treat you, but I'm opening my heart once again. Even if I get hurt, I'll know that at least I have once tried.

Love...

Got to feel love for my family more deeply than ever!! "As I look around, I can't believe the love I see" (Jordin Sparks - This is My Now) Love is like the wind; you can't see it but you can feel it (A Walk to Remember) Starting to experience God's love as well...been running away for too long. However, I'm still in the process of learning how to love people whom I do not know. The funniest thing is that although I'm a romantic person, I do not express love well. I can just act the total opposite of how I feel and then regret it later because I panic. I just feel weird being too nice to someone...lol~

Friends...

They are the ones who make life more bearable. I think in certain ways, friends influence you more than your family does, probably because of the generation gap. Well, I'm not saying ALL, but majority. Like for example, I would tell my friends about my crushes but not my mom/dad/brother. However when it comes to big big events like my getting a boyfriend, maybe I'll tell my parents for approval. I am the kind who seeks the approval of my family. Without their approval or blessings, it'd be meaningless. Anyway, back to friends, somehow friends learn from each other without knowing.

p/s: Genieve, we must always keep in touch ok?! *hugs* Not forgetting sze may...if you ever fall for some cute American guy must update me ok??!! XD

Time for me to visit slumberland...my prince charming, here I come! XD

Before I go, just wanna share the lyrics of 真爱 (True Love).

我们都曾经明白也都曾经遗憾　(We once understood and also one regretted)
错过了爱就难以从来 (Once you've missed out on love, it's hard to start anew)
不要害怕去坦白，(Don't be afraid to be honest)
怕容易被你宠坏，(Afraid of being spoilt by you easily)
忘了该与不该，(Forget the shoulds and shouldn'ts)
到哪里找回真爱，(Where to go to find true love back)
找回所有遗憾，(Find back all the regrets)
爱的真相就能够解开。(The truth of love will be revealed)

oops~ excuse my bad direct translation XP

XOXO,
Me

Dress to impress?

*laughs hysterically*

Nah...never! For me, at least...

I may not be perfect but I' m always me...

So...guess what I did today! I, being so me, went for a walk in Morialta Conservation Park in pyjamas and slippers!! Yep! You guys "heard" that right...pyjamas and slippers! Woohoo~

It's not that I always wear pyjamas everywhere in Penang. In fact I've never really worn pyjamas out, unless I'll be sitting in the car waiting for my parents to do their stuff =D

It was super duper fun...Not caring what people think of you.

For the first time in ages, I could do something as crazy as this. Well, it might not sound crazy to some people but it might be to my friends here. Cause I've been wanting to wear my pyjamas when I go out but many a times, my friends will ask me to go change...hehe~

At first I imagined myself as a mental patient who was on the loose...haha...I have to admit, my pyjamas did look a little like a mental patient's except for the teddies and duckies all over them =P I did get quite a number of stares but I didn't care. I just walked in and admired the greenery around me. It was definitely a sight for sore eyes!! After that I was thinking: What if people think I'm some kind of psycho trying to commit suicide in the park? That thought made me wanna laugh out loud! Yeah right...committing suicide with a phone and room key in one hand. =D


And there's where the saying "There's always a blessing at the end of every wrong turn" comes into the picture. I took the wrong road. Instead of turning right to the first falls, I made a left turn to some muddy and steep road. As I walked up that road, I started panting a little...and then...*speechless* how spectacular the scenery was from up there! I guess that's the "blessing" I got...Wow~


After snapping a few pictures, I turned back and took the road that I should've taken. As I walked further in, the strong wind blew harder and harder on my face, making it so numb I wasn't even sure if my face was still there! >.< Seeing the waterfalls makes me think of a song called "Indescribable". The lyrics go something like this:

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On the way back to my hostel, I started to think again.

Haha~ Thinking...that's what I do best.

Why do people judge you by what you wear? Who made the rule that pyjamas should be worn to bed and office-wear should be worn to work etc. If everyone wears pyjamas to work and office-wear to sleep, then it would be a norm because everyone does it. You get what I mean? Ahh...I don't understand myself either =P Just a thought...Now another question comes to my mind...Why do women wear high heels?! LOL...besides wanting to be taller and to make their butts higher or something (no offence to those wearing heels). I once read in a health magazine that high heels are a form of modern-day feet-binding and I couldn't agree more! We as humans are made to walk on our flat (but arched) feet, why wear high heels that can cause health problems? OK, I know some of you are already thinking: I'm sure you'll wear high heels one day! I'm not completely against it or anything, I'm just curious. Please don't bombard me with negative comments! >.<

Anyway, I feel much much fresher after having a walk with nature. Fresh air....*inhales deeply*

On my way in...

Teddies on my pj's =D

On my way up the wrong road =S

On the way down...

Ahh...Finally!

On the way out...*thinks*

That's all guys...one of my boring days =D

Crap, I'm feeling hungry already...hehe~

XOXO,
Me

Bored n Lazy

I just had my lunch and here I am, updating my blog because I've been receiving complaints about how seldom I update my blog =P

Right now, I'm just feeling super bored and lazy to do anything. Still in my pyjamas. Woke up this morning to have breakfast with E, then went to her room to chat until I fell asleep on her bed until lunch time -.-" great...

I need a shower but I'm lazy...I want to read Hopeless Romantic but I can't stop imagining myself as the female character in the novel...I feel like walking around the neighbourhood but it's too cold outside...I want to sleep all day but I'd be wasting my time...

Another week and holidays will be over!!! ARRGGGHHHH!! I'm panicking...I'm dreading classes already ='( My results are still not out...that freaks me out the most...=S

Anyway, was watching this Japanese drama series with one of my friends, D, last night. The drama is about this man who couldn't get married because of his weird personality (I think) and the drama basically revolves around this man's life. One thing I noticed from Japanese and Korean drama series is that when women and men of certain age are not married, their family or friends would arrange some sort of meeting for them with men or women so that they could find their marriage partner. I just don't get it. What's wrong with being single your whole life?! Ok, maybe nothing's wrong, but why?! Besides no one taking care of you, I think it's fun being single...although I myself have to admit that sometimes it's better to have someone by your side. How do people actually get married after looking at each other's pictures, go out on a few dates without even knowing that person well enough?? Isn't that freaky?? What if you end up marrying someone who's totally not meant for you and that's it...your whole life is ruined!? You only have one life...One true love...One soulmate...One marriage...

Maybe I was wrong about the "one marriage" part since people nowadays get divorced when they find that they're not suitable for each other. They may be fortunate enough to get divorced (not that I agree with getting a divorce) but what about those women out there who are not as "fortunate"? They suffer in silence for the sake of their kids, because they're not capable enough to be independent, they're too scared to stand up for themselves etc.?? Hmmm...so many questions need an answer. And why is it that men are always the dominating one? I've asked this questions to my guy friends before at the table during breakfast - Why is it that when a man has an affair, it's forgivable but when it's the woman who has an affair, the husband finds it so hard to forgive? And why is it that when a girl burps people find it unacceptable but when a guy burps it's totally acceptable? Aren't we all the same? Humans made by God? Then why are there so much stereotyping? In certain aspects I do agree that each gender has their strengths and weaknesses but certain aspects I just totally don't get it. *sigh*

See the results of being bored and lazy? My mind starts to wander around...thinking about Why questions @.@

I promise I shall not blog unless I have some interesting stuff to tell ok?? =D

Currently listening to:

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love
Along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow, kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream
Led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God bless the broken road
That led me straight to you

- Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts -

Now this reminds me of a quote from New York Minute - There's always a blessing at the end of every wrong turn - which I find it quite true. Sometimes we ask "why me?" "why now?" but we often dwell in the negative side of the situation that we are not able to see the blessing God has in store for us. Haha~ This sounds familiar...I read it in one of my e-mails about Curses and Blessings.

Oh man!! See how much I've digressed?!!? Totally out of "topic" XD

'Till next time! ;)

XOXO,
Me

*speechless* = |

I can't believe it!!!

In just 2 days, I missed the bus thrice!!

Wait....

In a week, I've missed the bus 4 times...

In fact, my week is not even over yet...I wonder if there'll b anymore bus-missing =.=

Well, what happened was this:
My friend came into my room last night, and I was sitting at my desk, chatting with ppl on msn...she came and stood right next to my air cond./heater...since it was really cold these few nights, I turned on the heater. So, she found it quite hot standing next to it and turned it to cold air...by the time we finished talking and stuff, it was already 3:30am AND I had to wake up at 7:30am...usually if I sleep late, I would be able to wake up the next morning (the same day) to go to class...BUT the twist is...I forgot to turn the heater on...so I felt sooo cold this morning even though I was under my blanket!! My friend called my room to wake me up, instead of turning on the lights and logging onto the internet to check the weather, I went straight back to bed cause I just wanted to be under the blanket....

moments later....*knock knock knock*

I opened the door and to my horror, my friend was standing there, all dressed up!! o.O
"Do you know what time is it now?! It's 9am already!!"
Obviously, even I start changing and stuff, I would be late for my 9 o'clock lecture...so I decided to skip the lecture and attend the tutorial after that which is at 10am. After sleeping for 10 mins, I woke up, got dressed, skipped breakfast and grabbed a brunch bar to be eaten on the way...and I thought everything would turn out fine...before I could reach the bus stop, I saw the bus passed by right in front of my eyes!!! O.O And I thought to myself "shit! don't tell me I missed the bus again!!" So I continued my walk to the bus stop anyway, hoping that the bus I saw was actually the earlier bus which was late. I waited and waited and waited in the cold at the bus stop...for 20 mins! No bus in sight...So I guess I'm gonna skip my tutorial as well...I didn't wanna walk in the cold, especially after I skipped my breakfast...I think there would be a high possibility that I would just faint by the roadside...yeah, you've guessed it, I crossed the street and walked back to my hostel and here I am, typing this *sweat* post! -.-"'

ok, maybe I shall get back to snuggling in my blanket until 11 something....hopefully I won't miss the 12:30pm bus! =P

Have a great day, guys!! miss ya loads! <3

Darkest days of my life...

the past 2 weeks were the darkest days of my life...I juz felt like hope was gone and nothing matters anymore...hehe~ sounds scary? anyway, that was how I felt la...I felt like I didn't wanna carry on what I'm doing anymore. those days were the times when u need big bear hugs the most, but I juz couldn't really fine someone who can hug me as tight as possible...not because there's no one who would do that, but I couldn't possibly go up to someone and say "can i have a big bear hug?" that would be so damn weird...

so, u would be asking y i felt the way i felt for the past 2 weeks. simple...2 words: stress & assignments. ok, maybe 4 words, + exams coming. and as unorganised as I am, I tend to get stressed out really really easily, exerting unnecessary pressure on myself sometimes I feel like I can no longer breathe o.O

I can still remember last Mon., when I was having breakfast alone in the dining hall, Phyllis, our resident pastor suddenly came over and asked me if I was doing OK. As down as I was at that moment, I didn't think much....all I did was tell her I felt better compared to last week, and she immediately offered to pray for me. My tears flowed down my cheeks as she prayed. it wasn't because of the prayer, it was because I was missing home before that and worrying about my assignments and stuff and someone actually cared. so I guess I was weak and couldn't take it anymore...she was there with me while I was sobbing and sniffing...so I asked her if she could give me a hug...and she did, a big tight bear hug!

after that I felt soooo much better after that...I went to the state library to use the internet after my Human Physiology class. I was checking thru my e-mails when I came across this e-mail from Janice, my Bible Study (BS) group leader. as I read her e-mail, my tears started to flow down again! I know I know, I sound like some princess who can't stand hardship of some sort...nvm that. I realised that I am not as strong as I thought I was...my friend Esther actually said that it's a good thing this way...cause God can touch me more easily which I think it's quite true...=)) I was actually touched by Janice...cause she even cared to send me an e-mail to ask about my week...although I juz got to know her a few months back, she even cared to give me words of encouragement...she's definitely my sis in Christ! and I really thank God for her =')

now all I need to worry about is my Human Physiology presentation on Mon. and how to NOT procrastinate in doing my assignments...hehe~

anyway, this post is so pointless...juz to let u guys know what has been happening in my life in Australia...