Sunday, May 27, 2007

Darkest days of my life...

the past 2 weeks were the darkest days of my life...I juz felt like hope was gone and nothing matters anymore...hehe~ sounds scary? anyway, that was how I felt la...I felt like I didn't wanna carry on what I'm doing anymore. those days were the times when u need big bear hugs the most, but I juz couldn't really fine someone who can hug me as tight as possible...not because there's no one who would do that, but I couldn't possibly go up to someone and say "can i have a big bear hug?" that would be so damn weird...

so, u would be asking y i felt the way i felt for the past 2 weeks. simple...2 words: stress & assignments. ok, maybe 4 words, + exams coming. and as unorganised as I am, I tend to get stressed out really really easily, exerting unnecessary pressure on myself sometimes I feel like I can no longer breathe o.O

I can still remember last Mon., when I was having breakfast alone in the dining hall, Phyllis, our resident pastor suddenly came over and asked me if I was doing OK. As down as I was at that moment, I didn't think much....all I did was tell her I felt better compared to last week, and she immediately offered to pray for me. My tears flowed down my cheeks as she prayed. it wasn't because of the prayer, it was because I was missing home before that and worrying about my assignments and stuff and someone actually cared. so I guess I was weak and couldn't take it anymore...she was there with me while I was sobbing and sniffing...so I asked her if she could give me a hug...and she did, a big tight bear hug!

after that I felt soooo much better after that...I went to the state library to use the internet after my Human Physiology class. I was checking thru my e-mails when I came across this e-mail from Janice, my Bible Study (BS) group leader. as I read her e-mail, my tears started to flow down again! I know I know, I sound like some princess who can't stand hardship of some sort...nvm that. I realised that I am not as strong as I thought I was...my friend Esther actually said that it's a good thing this way...cause God can touch me more easily which I think it's quite true...=)) I was actually touched by Janice...cause she even cared to send me an e-mail to ask about my week...although I juz got to know her a few months back, she even cared to give me words of encouragement...she's definitely my sis in Christ! and I really thank God for her =')

now all I need to worry about is my Human Physiology presentation on Mon. and how to NOT procrastinate in doing my assignments...hehe~

anyway, this post is so pointless...juz to let u guys know what has been happening in my life in Australia...

3 comments:

pink positive!! said...

*sob*...

it's indeed very touching too!!!

and i'm wondering how my life will be when i reach there...

remember u said that u miss me?

I MISS YOU TOO!!!

*sob**sob*

time is passing sooo fast lately, that we left out so many things.... T___T

HOLD on and be strong k!! hope to meet you soon!!

and though i can't hug u in person, here's my HUGGZZZZZZZ....(can feel it?)

=)

Lin Whatever! said...

sze may!!!!
yes...i've been so emotional lately...i kinda told everyone i missed them...if not i'm not sure if i'll ever have the chance to =) really really miss u...looking back at the kapitan pics makes me miss u more =') don't worry, u'll be alright!! ;) love ya! *hugs* appreciate what u have now...

pink positive!! said...

thank you!!!

really need it...

i'm into emotional state lately too!!!

yea, i'm tryin to appreciate what i have now, and ignore all those shits happening around me...

=)

u take good care of urself k!!

and just remember, i'm always here to lend u an ear, if u need one... though i may give silly advices sometimes... lol