Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Another not-too-bad day

Was so proud of myself for sleeping early last night (been sleeping after 1 and 2am for the past few weeks) at around 12am, which wasn't too bad as I needed to wake up before 9am this morning so I'd have slept for more than 8 hours! Woohoo~

Anyway, I'm really happy I had a filling and nutritious breakfast cause breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Yeah! (Excuse my hyper-ness) After finishing my breakfast in 15 mins, I caught the 9:26am bus this morning, realised that P's car was still around and so I thought P took the bus to class.

Didn't feel sleepy in my Psychology lecture at all!! This is totally awesome! This semester isn't as pathetic as the last semester as I have friends to sit with in Psychology lecture...It's great to know that I'm not alone =) and they're really nice people. Been to one of my friends' house last 2 weeks, had a great conversation. That was how we got to know each other more...Z's an early-30s woman who used to teach special kids and now she's studying to change her field or something. Her father died 5 years ago and she shared with me how she became a Christian and so on...According to her, she used to be a really difficult teenager and it's amazing how God touched her.

Enough digressing, will share her story some other time.

Back to my day, yeah...I'm happier this semester. And...I took the bus back home after lecture to have lunch cause I had a 5-hour break in between and I don't really like staying in uni. Reached home, saw that P's car was already gone. Was checking my e-mail while listening to songs when someone knocked on my door. It was E! O.o Oookkkaaayyy...she overslept and missed her class again! *smacks forehead* *shakes head*

Went to have a nap at 12:06pm, asked E to wake me up at lunchtime. After having lunch (lunch was not bad by the way, compared to the usual food) went to E's room to drink my daily serving of tea and we chatted until ermm...3pm??

Our tutor for Rhetoric and Reasoning was on leave for 2 weeks so we had a substitute. She's from Malaysia, which is from where I'm from. I don't know why but suddenly I felt so at home. Surprisingly, I didn't feel sleepy at all during that 4 o'clock class!! Usually I'd sit in my chair and nod off even though the tute group is so small everyone could see! I felt sooooo good!! Felt so productive! After class, I stayed for a group discussion for our group oral presentation.

There are 4 people in my group, including me but 1 guy, Sam, didn't come today. So it was only the 3 of us. We were discussing about our work but halfway through we started talking. Although it seemed like it was a waste of time, I felt that it had broadened my horizon even more. 3 of us, from 3 different countries, with 3 totally different backgrounds, 3 different perspectives on life and stuff...wow!! Sometimes you just think, isn't it amazing how God made each and everyone of us so diffferent, so unique?? *speechless*

This semester I'm opening up more, as in I voice my opinions, I smile to people although they don't smile back etc. I try really hard to organise my life, trying not to do stuff last minute. I hope everything works out...*prays real hard*

Everytime as I step into my room after coming back from class, there'll be a voice inside my head reminding me that I have loads of stuff to do, say NO to temptations! =D Blogging has become a part of my relaxation. I'm typing this post before I start on my work to tell everyone that I'm happy with my day today....everything went smoothly. Managed to pay my tuition fees, which I've been procrastinating for weeks. I just couldn't get myself to print out the invoice and pay at the post office. So yeah, today I did everything I was supposed to do: found my pencil case, got my friends the semester planner and paid my tuition fee. =)

Just a random thought:
Usually people think that old people are difficult, grumpy and cranky but since I came here, maybe it's because I walk on the streets more, I see and meet more people, I realised that the old people here are quite friendly. They greet you and flash you this huge bright smile which reveals their wrinkles on their faces. Hmmm...just today on the bus, I smiled at an old lady and I felt so happy after that! It's true what they say, sometimes smiling just brightens up your day ;)

Then again, I'm afraid to smile at people sometimes, you'll never know what their intentions are. For example just the other day I smiled at this man at the bus stop and he gave me this really cynical smile and winked at me in a very pervertic way. I swear that instant my heart was pounding really hard in my chest!! =S I thought I was about to pass out. I started to be very paranoid. I thought he was gonna harm me or do something evil to me...My goodness! And the phrase "Never talk (in this case, smile) to strangers" came crossing my mind. I believe that people are good at heart but in certain situations, I don't really trust people. People are too evil.

p/s: Was looking through my autograph book a few minutes ago and I came across what my friend wrote for me: Keep your chin up when times are rough...Be of good courage! Do not be afraid to go all out in new things!!! And don't forget to always stay close to God and God will stay close to you. Thanks D!! I guess I haven't been keeping my chin up...

XOXO,
Me

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Not-too-bad day

9:15AM
Woke up, felt like going back to bed but brushed off that thought as I had to wake 2 people up


9:20AM
Called E's room several times, no answer; called M, answered but she wanted to go back to sleep so I had to call her at 10AM to wake her up again; called E again, she wanted to go back to sleep as well and yes, I had to call her at 10AM to wake her up again as well

9:30AM
Went down to get breakfast, decided to eat my breakfast in my room cause no one's downstairs...so lonely =(

9:33AM
While eating breakfast, I checked my e-mail, listened to some romantic and gospel songs, checked out friends' blogs...no updates, checked my uni e-mail, enjoying the breeze that came through my half-opened window.

10:00AM
Called E and M to wake them up, M said thanks and E still sounded sleepy and groggy. Read my Psychology textbook, attempting to answer the practical multiple-choice questions...Eyelids felt heavy and my mind started to wander...

11:25AM
Couldn't take it anymore, set my alarm clock at 12:00PM and went to bed.

12:00PM
Hit the snooze button on my handphone

12:09PM
Woke up reluctantly, went to take a shower.

12:35PM
Went down to have my lunch until 1:10PM

1:10PM
Had my daily serving of tea while chatting with E for a while before she rushed out to catch her bus.

1:30PM
Proceeded to read my Psychology textbook again when 2 people msged me on MSN. So I read and chatted at the same time.

2:26PM
Rushed out to catch the bus to go to the city for Human Physiology lecture which starts at 3PM. Met a friend who was catching the same bus...had a short chat.

3:00PM
Was in time for lecture...didn't feel sleepy at all during that 1 hour, and I'm so proud of myself, could absorb almost everything that's been taught.

3:50PM
Lecture ended early, as I was walking to the X1 bus stop (cause I was still deciding on whether I should get that pair of jeans I tried on yesterday, so I smsed my mom to ask her if it's worth it) when I saw the 104 bus passed me by...*sigh* oh well, shall catch the next bus.

4:00PM
Bumped into L while walking towards the bus stop, ended up having a conversation with her. Found it really great to chat with her as the conversation was meaningful and we got the opportunity to know each other better.

4:20PM
The bus finally came!! The bus was packed so L sat in front of me...we continued talking on the way back home. Realised P was on the bus as well. I don't know what happened, the conversation between L and I touched on the topic of reaching out, and I realised the importance to. Both of us agreed that when it comes to action, it's not easy at all...Through our work, we can also do so. It got me thinking why I wanted to be a psychologist in the first place.

5:00PM
Reached home, woohoo!! P didn't look too happy to see me. Came up to my room straightaway and here I am, typing this post.

Overall, my day wasn't too bad, very relaxing and meaningful, in a way...

XOXO,
Me =)

Monday, August 27, 2007

我想...

...是时候放弃了吧!

自从他知道真相后,我们俩就从来没有一次能好好的说话。不是他先跟我吵,就是我找他麻烦。

他和另一个来自同一个国家的女生很要好,又是上同一科,有时候一同上学,兴趣又一致,对我来说,他们是相配的。

我还是承认,我没有很高的自信心,也许是因为太介意了。人家说如果能够在喜欢的人的面前表现自然,那就是真爱,但我做不到。有时候他说的话,会让我觉得我配不上他。

当别人用言语来攻击我,他从来不会站在我这边,反而和他们同一伙来欺负我。虽然我知道他不是认真想捉弄我, 但是我难免有时候会觉得很受伤。

就算全部人知道我喜欢他也罢,因为,我正想放弃了。若我们是应该在一起的,那有一天神会开个路让我门走。我一向来在这方面狠固执,一旦喜欢一个人,就会抱着希望有一天会终成眷属。

我希望我可以下次看到他的时候,若无其事,表现自然。尽管他怎样讥笑我和他的 roommate 我也不在乎了。

人人都问我喜欢他什么,我不知道怎样答复。

哎,从今开始,不想再为他的事烦。

XOXO,
Me

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Girls' Ministry

This morning I went for my first ever Girls' Ministry organised by an OCF girl (obviously) and it turned out totally unexpected.
I thought it'd be the usual, praise and worship, someone shares something and that's it.

I suddenly felt so much like a girl (?) LOL~ Probably because there weren't any guys around and what one of the girls said is true, she said that no one understands us better than the ones around us at that moment.

Joanne shared something with us today and the topic was Being Empowered as a Christian Woman. Wow~ Suddenly I'm a woman! Hehe~ =P What she shared was quite private and confidential so I won't be giving much details.

Empowered means being equipped or supplied with an ability. In this case I guess what she was trying to send across was our being equipped the ability to be set free in Christ. In the midst of her sharing, I could hear girls sniffing and sobbing and I could see tears welled up or streaming down their cheeks.

Joanne's sharing was a touching one. She taught us about total freedom. Freedom from addiction. Freedom from hatred. Freedom from unnecessary burdens. Freedom from the past that haunts. Freedom from worldly things. Freedom from others' opinions. Freedom from anything that separates us from God.

Galatians 5: 1
Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.

Everyone knows I'm not good expressing with words, so yeah...this is all I have to say...I guess.

p/s: To all the girls who went for the Girls' Ministry, correct me if I'm wrong...

XOXO.
Me

Thursday, August 23, 2007

突然

我又有些感触了。

这几天发生的事情实在不少。有时候决定不想再理会,但是却忍不下心。

他确实对我很好,使我因不想搞得大家都知道才特意对他坏一点。

但是就因为这样,他以为我对他很差!

哎,我该怎么办才好呢?

XOXO,
Me

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Guys...

...who don't know how to respect girls, all I can say is I'm sorry for you for you don't possess the basic human characteristic that everyone should have!!!

For the 1st time in 8 months since I came here, I lost my temper!! Seriously, I couldn't stand letting him step on us girls any longer!! Who does he think he is?! He treats girls like objects, like stocks that can be exchanged with money and materialistic things! I feel so sorry for him!!!

Wonder who would ever be his wife (I said I wonder, not cursing) cause I know there are girls out there who would also be together with this kinda guy...but I really wonder who it could be. He wants a wife who can stay at home, do house chores, stay pretty (so that he won't have to vomit for an hour every morning when he sees her, according to him) ISH!!! What the...?!?!

Last year in college, there was this guy who wasn't the type of guy every girl would fall for and there was this girl who fell for him (or at least we thought so) and just last week I got to know a shocking truth! They did IT already...*faints* Can you believe it?! The guy, who always says "the bible says....." did IT with the girl already!! *smacks forehead* And till today, we don't understand what that girl saw in him...

Back to this guy, S, I knew I wasn't thinking too much cause he loves to insult me...It's his joy to see me pissed! When I told him "I live for myself and not others. As long as my conscience is clear, I don't have to care what people say about me." He straight away replied me "Then why do you have to defend yourself?" HELLOOOO??!! I wasn't trying to defend myself, I was trying to defend the whole of female population?!?! How could he insult us girls like that?!

Please God, help me the next time he does it again. Help me to be more patient...

If he does it again, I need someone to back me up...not a bunch of guys who back him up! ARRGGGHHHH!! I don't blame the others cause I know he's their friend and that they don't wanna have any conflict with him, but hello?! Cowards...sometimes guys are such cowards!!

I understand that he had been SCARRED by girls in the past, it's alright. I forgive him...no point being angry anymore since he'll never understand. I used to hate guys too, but I've changed cause I know it's immature to generalise. Not all guys are like that...I know a few who really respect girls. So now I'm opening up once again...hopefully S realises this...or maybe I hope that he only hates me. I am the problem...

I felt like screaming but I can't...so now I feel alot better now letting all out here...phew~ Why me?! What did I do!? Now I understand how E feels when someone hates her...it's not a good feeling at all...please don't try to convince me that he doesn't hate me until he proves it himself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After typing all those above, I think back of my primary school days =P The days when I got bullied by guys in my class...so since then I developed a love-hate feeling towards guys until high school. Haven't had any guy friends in high school other than those I already knew in primary school until I went to college last year.

But the good thing was after leaving primary school, I started to talk to my primary school guy friends and most of them said I was damn fierce *hehe~* And through chatting on MSN, I made quite a few good guy friends. That was how my impression towards guys changed...I'm thinking twice now though.

Anyway, enough of polluting my blog about S. I shall just stop here...tomorrow's a brand new day!! =D smile and the whole world will smile with you!

XOXO,
Me

Monday, August 20, 2007

Embarrassing moment part 2

1st embarrassing moment

OK...it was a Thursday and I had my psychology tutorial at 12pm.

Before tute, I went to print out some stuff at the computer pool...I was being a little paranoid leaving my mobile phone on the computer table while I collected my printed stuff at the printer, so I brought it along.

After sms-ing with P and all, I left my mobile phone by the printer. I didn't even realise that something was missing until a girl came in the computer pool and announced "There's a mobile phone outside by the printer, did anyone here leave it outside?" OMG!! At that very moment, I just wanted to dig a hole in the ground and bury my head in it!!!

What to do right?? I just stood up, looked at the floor while walking towards the printer and mumble thanks under my breath >_<

2nd embarrassing moment

It was 11:55am, on the same day...my friend who was at the same computer pool has already rushed off for tute and so I thought I was late and started rushing as well. After packing my stuff and all, I ran to the tutorial room. As I pushed open the door, I saw the room crowded with unfamiliar faces! I thought I was late...everyone was staring at me.

"Are you really really late or are you really really early?"
I thought she was being extremely sarcastic and I thought she hated people being late so I answered, "Ermm...really really late?"
"In that case, do u mind coming for the next class cause it's pointless for u to come in for just 5 mins?"

At that very moment I realised that I wasn't late...I was early!! She was still conducting the 11-12pm tutorial!!!
It was super embarrassing!!
My friend who had gone off early came and saw the whole episode...haha...The reason I didn't see her waiting outside was she went to the toilet! *smacks forehead*

My life is always full of embarrassing moments...

XOXO,
Me

Sunday, August 19, 2007

hehehehehe~

Went down to check and that guy's clothes are OUT of the dryer! woohoo~

Now I'm waiting for my clothes to dry =D

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hmmm...Got this e-mail yesterday and it only contained ONE sentence:

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect.


I know I'm not perfect...I don't have any special talents, I'm not good in any sport (unless u call cycling a sport), I don't get super good grades etc.

Some days I feel great being me, some days I feel shitty, some days I question my existence...

I love being imperfect but I have to admit that at times I feel inferior being around friends who have talents in various areas...makes me feel a lil "useless".

Anyway, just a thought...not emo now =)

These are the lyrics to a song called "Imperfect Girl"...I think it suits me

I don't have a perfect smile
maybe I'm just too shy
I'm not a beauty queen
on covers of magazines
that's something you can't deny
I got my own style

So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

I wouldn't be classed as cool
I have to bend the rules
Maybe I don't fit in
I didn't always win
that's something you can't deny
I'm happy with my own style

So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

It's all just make-believe
The standards that we hear
It doesn't have to be
A perfect world, a perfect world

I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

XOXO,
Me

Dilemma

Well well...

I wasn't supposed to post this...but then I'm "bored" =S

Put in my clothes in the washing machine, the dryer which was the so-called best one was in use...

Went down to check my clothes, oh! washing done...but dryer still in use...

Checked the laundry basket, and what do u know?! It belongs to the guy who hates me >.<

*sigh* Went up to his room to ask him what time he put his clothes inside...he couldn't remember...

Now it got me thinking, should I just wait OR spend twice as much to put my clothes into the dryer that is not so dry?

........

XOXO,
Me

Friday, August 17, 2007

Thoughts

It's 1:51am...just finished writing my psychology essay synopsis. I think I did a crappy job, oh well...

Was listening to 真爱 by 183 Club,and the feelings when I first listened to this song came back to me...The song was a soundtrack to this Taiwanese drama series 王子变青蛙 (The prince who turned into a frog).

Used to be crazy over this series, mainly because of its romantic storyline and the handsome main male character...The story was more or less like a fairytale but I still love it!! Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a total sucker for romantic things =P

Can't believe that I was dreaming my whole high school and college life...thinking that fairytales do exist. Well, I still think that there's a fairytale designed for each and everyone, just that maybe all we have to do is to wait and see. The time will come. Everyone will have their own happy ending =)

After last week's bible study, JC (our bible study leader?) was saying something that goes something like this:
God has a plan for us and for example He has already chosen our life partner for us. Of course the one He chooses will be the perfect one for us but if we miss out on the perfect one, then we'll get the second best one. However, the result won't be as good as the perfect one. The good thing is that if you don't know who the perfect one is, then you'll never know what you've missed out.

Hmmm...it got me thinking...there are so many things in life...career, studies, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, decisions etc. We live life as it is but we'll never know which ones are the perfect ones. And I guess it's a good thing we don't know, or else we'll be living in regret all the time.

Life...

I'm in my last year of being a teenager, figuring out how life works...but yeah, I enjoy learning about life. Coming here has opened my eyes to the things around me and to the things unseen. Knowing the people here has broaden my horizon as well...Never thought I'd get to know great people here...Used to think that people can't really be trusted no matter how nice people treat you, but I'm opening my heart once again. Even if I get hurt, I'll know that at least I have once tried.

Love...

Got to feel love for my family more deeply than ever!! "As I look around, I can't believe the love I see" (Jordin Sparks - This is My Now) Love is like the wind; you can't see it but you can feel it (A Walk to Remember) Starting to experience God's love as well...been running away for too long. However, I'm still in the process of learning how to love people whom I do not know. The funniest thing is that although I'm a romantic person, I do not express love well. I can just act the total opposite of how I feel and then regret it later because I panic. I just feel weird being too nice to someone...lol~

Friends...

They are the ones who make life more bearable. I think in certain ways, friends influence you more than your family does, probably because of the generation gap. Well, I'm not saying ALL, but majority. Like for example, I would tell my friends about my crushes but not my mom/dad/brother. However when it comes to big big events like my getting a boyfriend, maybe I'll tell my parents for approval. I am the kind who seeks the approval of my family. Without their approval or blessings, it'd be meaningless. Anyway, back to friends, somehow friends learn from each other without knowing.

p/s: Genieve, we must always keep in touch ok?! *hugs* Not forgetting sze may...if you ever fall for some cute American guy must update me ok??!! XD

Time for me to visit slumberland...my prince charming, here I come! XD

Before I go, just wanna share the lyrics of 真爱 (True Love).

我们都曾经明白也都曾经遗憾 (We once understood and also one regretted)
错过了爱就难以从来 (Once you've missed out on love, it's hard to start anew)
不要害怕去坦白,(Don't be afraid to be honest)
怕容易被你宠坏,(Afraid of being spoilt by you easily)
忘了该与不该,(Forget the shoulds and shouldn'ts)
到哪里找回真爱,(Where to go to find true love back)
找回所有遗憾,(Find back all the regrets)
爱的真相就能够解开。(The truth of love will be revealed)

oops~ excuse my bad direct translation XP

XOXO,
Me

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Not so stressed...I hope

Just what I needed during times of stress...

Opened my e-mail and there it was, sitting in the inbox =)

Shall share with you a few meaningful phrases...<3

Do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations

Stress...

...can kill.

It's late but I'm here blogging. Why? Cause I need to let out some feelings...

I'm not sure if I used to be this stress in college, considering the fact that there were a lot of assignments to do as well.

Right now, I feel lifeless...Hate assignments, especially those that require you to list more than 10 references!! =S

Help!!

Tell me, Jennifer, Prasana, Natalie...whoever went through college with me, was I this stressed??

I know I'm an easily stressed person and I think I'm not Psychology material but then I know I'm here for a reason...hopefully.

I think I'm having an anxiety disorder of some sort >.< Since schooling days, I can't sleep well when I have assignments due, exams coming up or after studying a subject that requires lots of memorising. I would dream about things I need to accomplish and things that happened before I sleep (in this case, studying/doing assignments).

S, who keeps "attacking" me whenever I speak because I'm a Psychology (or maybe cause I'm female) student makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Then again, I shouldn't let people bring me down cause I live for myself and not others.

Everytime this happens, the angel and devil inside me would proclaim war in my head. ARRGGGHHHH!

Could it be because I miss home? Back home when I'm stressed, I'll overcome it really quickly but here, I don't know...I just feel like I'd break anytime. This could be one of the reasons that led me to thinking about my family.

Experienced a major realisation today...

Sometimes crying is the only way to express how you feel...=')

I'd give up my tomorrows for just one yesterday. A hug anyone??

If tomorrow never comes, I just wanna tell all of you back home and here and all over Australia, US, UK and Japan that I love you guys alot alot!! [this doesn't sound like me =S]

I've been insensitive and inconsiderate in the past, would you forgive me?

See what stress made me do?! Reading too much on anxiety disorders doesn't help a teeny weeny bit as well...*sigh*

Counting the days till I stand at the arrival hall at Penang International Airport, waving frantically to my family and relatives with a big smile on my face...

Be strong, girl...Another 3 months and you'll get to go back home...home is where the heart is. I never understood that phrase until I came here.

I'm being super long-winded =S

Since I'm already typing this post, I might as well continue typing until I don't feel the stress anymore.

Used to think that people who are homesick are just plain weak. I thought I'd never feel homesick because I was so eager to leave home and venture the world, experience new experiences, meet new people, make new friends, learn new stuff and learn to be independent. Now I understand what my other friends meant when they say that we used to be so sheltered and protected.

I guess being sentimental doesn't help either. Knowing that my cousin's gonna give birth this month and I won't be there to see her newborn makes me a lil sad...Kids...I wanna see them grow...1 stage after another...By the time I fly to Singapore in December, her son would be 3 months old already. I'd never know how he looks like when he was born. And so this is the time when I rely on pictures to tell me stories.

Pictures...Lost 3 years' worth of pics right before I came here. I was totally heart broken. How would I remember my memories when I reach 70 or 80?? I would need pics to remind me then. *sigh*

I don't know what I'm babbling about. Maybe it's the bottled-up feelings.

Gonna stop before I bore anyone with this not-so-happy post =)

p/s: all my friends out there, you're not forgotten and never will be...[pls ignore all grammatical errors]

XOXO,
Me

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Another eventful day part 1

Well, the reason this post is just the 1st part is because I'm lazy to type it now...I've gotta start on my psychology essay synopsis before I die of Anxiety Disorder!! =S

I was trying to run away from reality, not wanting to work on it because everytime I work on an assignment, I feel like I'm gonna be out of breath any minute.

But what the heck...I gotta come back to reality...

This reminds me of The Cinderella Story, where the "prince" finally met the "princess" at the ball and when it striked midnight, the "princess" said she had to go back and he asked, "back to where?" and she replied, "to reality"

Ahhhhh~ Fairytales...I wanna be a character in fairytales...at least there's always a happy ending =) Hehe...

*SNAP*

I'm back to reality.

XOXO,
Me

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Random phrase

Came across a phrase from a friend's friend's blog...

I guess there's some truth in it for certain people at certain points of life...

The hardest things to say are the words that mean the most. So I’ll bite my tongue until it bleeds and I doubt you’ll even know. I’m standing on the line between giving up and seeing how much more I can take…

p/s: nothing to do with me =) i'm damn serious. I totally agree with the 1st part of the phrase though...

XOXO,

Me

Saturday, August 11, 2007

As Long As You Love Me

Ahhh~

Just came back from another OCF meeting on a Friday night =)

Currently listening to As Long As You Love Me by the once-so-famous-Backstreet-boys.

It's a really romantic song but somehow it reminds me of our saviour...

Modified version of As Long As You Love Me:
He doesn't care who we are,
where we're from,
doesn't care what we did,
as long as we love Him

The memory verse that I memorised today during lunch was:
Psalm 51:16-17
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it
You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and contrite heart,
O God You will not despise.

*contrite, according to http://www.dictionary.com is:
Feeling regret and sorrow for one's sins or offenses; penitent.

See what I meant by modifying the lyrics? God wants us as a living sacrifice, not burnt offerings, and even more when we have a broken spirit and a broken and contrite heart. He does not despise us even though we're so imperfect =))

Just a super duper short sharing, cause I'm lazy to type and my eyes are shutting again. @.@

XOXO,
Me

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

First Time

Today I had 2 first-times =P

1st, for my whole uni life (been here for 5 months+ only) I had lunch with a friend today.

2nd, I played pool for the first time since I came here >.< Well, it's the 2nd time in my whole 19 years...lol~ The first time ever I touched a cue stick was last year in college. Boy, was I super bad at it!! Didn't dare to play it since then...

I have work to do...but my eyes are shutting any moment now. I'm not even thinking about my grammar as I type this post...

XOXO,
Me

Monday, August 06, 2007

panic-stricken

2 weeks of 2nd semester has already come and gone. I still can't get myself to be more organised...

Checked the due dates for assignments when I woke up and whoa!!

The due dates are near...very near...

Gotta START work!!

O.O

XOXO,
Me

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Found myself

Ahhh~ well, hours ago I felt mixed feelings.

Now I feel so so so so happy! =D

Meeting up with Penang friends just reminds me of my old self...

Yes!

My old self is back...I hope =P

Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy HappyHappy Happy Happy Happy

XOXO,
Me ^_^

Silence is golden

Well, I was feeling happy like an hour ago...

but my happiness kind of faded away when I saw P.

Everytime I see P, I don't know what to say.

I was feeling happy and sad at the same time...

and that's really bad 'cause I never liked mixed feelings.

I don't mind not talking to P, but what hurts the most is that P never stands on my side.

NEVER

I'm not mad or anything, but I've realised something through this.

You can never satisfy everyone cause in the end, you'll end up getting hurt.

So, I've made up my mind.

And I shall remind myself from time to time that: Even if the whole world is against me, I shall stand up for myself, for what I believe in, and for what the truth is!

After watching Amazing Grace, I was in awe of what God is capable in doing.

William Wilberforce has become my role model.

Not only is he couragous to stand up for what he believes in when the whole world (well, not exactly) is against him, he's also determined in what he does.

Now, I shall live like him.

From now on, if people tease me or laugh at me, I shall smile and know that God is always on my side (depending on the situation). Even if I'm in the wrong, I shall fall and learn to stand up again...

When I'm silent, I'm trying not to listen to the conversation. =)

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On a lighter note, I met up with a friend who came over from Perth for his sister's graduations ceremony.

I don't know why, but after hanging out with him, I felt like we've known each other for ages even though I've only known him for less than a year.

We kind of knew each other in a weird way, which was through C =P And the first time meeting him was at 1-stop Popular bookshop...

Come to think of it, after meeting him, my old Penang personality came back. I didn't need to worry how people will see me, all I did was be my normal self, talk as much as I want to, tell as much funny stories as I want to, be as childish as I want to. Ahhh~ old friends...

If I could, I would wanna be my old self here but apparently somehow I feel restricted. Everything I do, S would have something to say. S always has this problem with Psychology students.

Although I know that he doesn't mean it, I'm only human, sometimes I feel hurt and frustrated. I pray that God will help me acquire patience and I truly believe that miracles do happen.

And when I face this kind of situation, all I can do is be silent. Before I say something that I might regret.

I realised only M is observant enough to have noticed that I didn't look happy. Well, I was, but not anymore.

*sigh* This is the battle with myself again.

Happy / Unhappy?

I don't know >.< Someone decide for me, please!!

One thing's for sure, I'm gonna be who God made me to be!!! Will not live according to people's views...I'm me!

Want to know more about me?
Visit http://kevan.org/johari?name=Michellin and do accordingly.
Michellin's me by the way, other names were already taken, so I just simply chose a name *winks*
You can see what people think of me =)

XOXO,
Me

Saturday, August 04, 2007

The Power of Prayer

Just came home from OCF combined meeting at AACC and the first thing I did was to connect to the internet and check my e-mail.

There it was, sitting in my inbox...an e-mail sent from my friend Jennifer, entitled "26 guards". I thought, well maybe this is just another entertaining story...

Little did I know that wow, it turned out to be an inspiring message!! =)

So, I'll just copy and paste the entire e-mail here and I shall go to bed...

Here goes:

Here's a message that will bring you chills. Have you ever felt the urge to pray for someone and then just put it on a list and said, "I'll pray for them later?"
Or has anyone ever called you and said, "I need you to pray for me, I have this need?"

Read the following story that was sent to me and may it change the way that you may think about prayer and also the way you pray.

You will be blessed by this.

A missionary on furlough told this true story while visiting his home church in Michigan.

"While serving at a small field hospital in Africa, every two weeks I traveled by bicycle through the jungle to a nearby city for supplies. This was a journey of two days and required camping overnight at the halfway point.

On one of these journeys, I arrived in the city where I planned to collect money from a bank, purchase medicine, and supplies, and then begin my two-day journey back to the field hospital.

Upon arrival in the city, I observed two men fighting, one of whom had been seriously injured. I treated him for his injuries and at the same time talked to him about the Lord.

I then traveled two days, camping overnight, and arrived home without incident.

Two weeks later I repeated my journey.

Upon arriving in the city, I was approached by the young man I had treated. He told me that he had known I carried money and medicines. He said, 'Some friends and I followed you into the jungle, knowing you would camp overnight. We planned to kill you and take your money and
drugs.

But just as we were about to move into your camp, we saw that you were surrounded by 26 armed guards.

At this, I laughed and said that I was certainly all alone in that jungle campsite.

The young man pressed the point, however, and said, 'No, sir, I was not the only person to see the guards, my friends also saw them, and we all counted them. It was because of those guards that we were afraid and left you alone.'

At this point in the sermon, one of the men in the congregation jumped to his feet and interrupted the missionary and asked if he could tell him the exact day this happened.

The missionary told the congregation the date, and the man who interrupted told him this story:

"On the night of your incident in Africa, it was morning here and I was preparing to go play golf.

I was about to putt when I felt the urge to pray for you. In fact, the urging of the Lord was so strong, I called men in this church to meet with me here in the sanctuary to pray for you. Would all of those men who met with me on that day stand up?"

The men who had met together to pray that day stood up. The missionary wasn't concerned with who they were, he was too busy counting how many men he saw.

There were 26.

This story is an incredible example of how the Spirit of the Lord moves in mysterious ways.

If you ever hear such prodding, go along with it.

Nothing is ever hurt by prayer except the gates of hell. I encourage you to forward this to as many people as you know.

If we all take it to heart, we can turn this world toward God once again. As the above true story clearly illustrates, "with God all things are possible".

More importantly, how God hears and answers the prayers of the faithful.

After you read this, please pass it on and give God thanks for the beautiful gift of your faith, for the powerful gift of prayer, and for the many miracles He works in your own daily life... and then pass it on. Who says God does not work in mysterious ways?

I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today. To guide you and protect you as you go along your way. His love is always with you, His promises are true, and when we give Him our cares you know He will see us through.

So when the road you're traveling on seems difficult at best, just remember I'm here praying, and God will do the rest.

Ahhh~ the power of prayer...

May God bless those who are staying back at AACC for the fast and prayer thingy tonight. May God give them the strength and discipline.

XOXO,
Me

Friday, August 03, 2007

Part 1

During winter holidays, I read this book entitled "10 Commandments of Dating" and although never been attached or experienced any kind of love other than family love and friendships, I think it was a useful guide to searching my life partner...haha~

Just to share with my friends what I've read =P

I once came this phrase from a friend's blog...it kind of goes like this:
I dream that one day when my kid asks me who my first love is, I would be able to point across the living room and answer "there he is, sitting over there" to my kid.

Isn't that the most romantic thing ever?! =P Marrying your first love...or first boyfriend, whichever that applies to you.

Anyway, the 1st commandment is Thou shalt get a life.

By getting a life, it simply means that not being dependent on your girl/guy (whichever applies to you) 24/7. You should allow each other to have time for themselves. People who don't have a life will feel empty or insecure when he/she is not around their partner. Also, people who don't have a life would constantly call/msg their partner to know their whereabouts because they're afraid that they might cheat on them or that they're just simply possessive.

The 1st thing of getting a life is Get Grounded.

Embrace the fact that you are created in the image of God and have worth and value simply because you were born.

This value is unchanging and complete.

Worth, based on being in the image of God, does not fluctuate; it does not change regardless of your personality, performance, or possessions because it's based on the immutable character of God.

We are stamped with His image.

Since you are stamped with the image of the Priceless One, you are also priceless. That is self-worth. Accepting this is the key to be grounded.

Enough for today...I think today's "lesson" kind of reminded myself of my self-worth =) At times I tend to think too lowly of myself, which is not good at all...and also I shall learn how to forgive myself.

(to be continued)

XOXO,
Me