tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-115711602024-03-14T20:55:45.668+10:30A Journey into the Mind & Life of an Adult in TrainingYou don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing - Michael PritchardLinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.comBlogger467125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-22132404291655746452013-04-18T20:05:00.000+09:302013-04-19T04:35:31.540+09:30I don't even know why......I'm writing this post. It's not like I have any updates (good ones) anyway.<br />
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It's just that besides praying, there's no one else I could turn to. I've been feeling extremely emotional and depressed for the past few weeks. I'm starting to feel that there's something wrong with me. Well, I blame hormones because I missed my period last month. But then again, I've never felt this way ever...<br />
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For the past 2 weeks, I kept feeling a lump in my chest. I really want to cry but I can't, and then I would cry over the most random things ever. These days I try to distant myself from everyone. I just don't feel like I'm in my best condition to interact socially, not even short conversations. However, I'd always log onto Facebook and Skype, hoping to find someone from home to talk to. Someone to hear me rant or just distract me from what I've been feeling. I'd always end up not talking to anyone in fear that I'm making them feel upset too. Even when I do talk to my mom, I'm always so happy-sounding but the moment she gets off Skype, I'm back to where I was.<br />
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Winter has gone...and Spring is finally here but I'm not feeling as happy as I thought I would, although sunshine does make everything seem a LITTLE bit better. Just a few days ago, I was feeling so down but I had an appointment with a friend to go shopping so I went anyway. The whole day, I felt like my chest was going to burst because I was suppressing my tears the whole afternoon. Really tried to cheer up and enjoyed the shopping but the moment I came home, everything's just back to how it was.<br />
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Funny thing is, everyone thinks I'm doing fine here, simply because of how happy I look in my Facebook pictures. Then again, who puts up sad pictures on Facebook? I really long to laugh again without constraints......Many times I think I really need to see a psychologist, someone to tell me what's wrong with me.<br />
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Should've showered an hour ago but ended up tearing up like no tomorrow. *sigh* Gotta suck it up and go cook dinner now. May tomorrow be a better day.Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-25485147360944642322013-02-07T22:58:00.000+10:302013-02-08T09:29:01.181+10:30First post of 2013Hi! January is almost over and I just realised I haven't been writing much here. It's been 4 months since I arrived UK. Wow...time really does fly! I am happy to say that I'm feeling soooo much better except for the occasional emo moments when I get too stressed out, which is normal. :) My winter break was mostly spent doing nothing, watching drama, surfing the net, and talking to my family on skype. Pure bliss!<br />
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I was wishing for a white Christmas last year but it didn't snow. My Christmas plan - snuggling down in bed watching Love Actually - kind of failed too. I wasted so much time that by the time I took a shower and snuggled under my covers I was too sleepy to finish the movie. Oh, and having Snickers ice cream in bed was awesome!<br />
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A friend from Birmingham came over to visit me for a day and a half, and then it was my turn to pay him a visit. I must say, I haven't felt so at home for a looong time. I stay here alone (although I have 2 flatmates, we don't usually hang out or talk except when we bump into each other in the kitchen) so I kind of forgot how it felt like having meals with friends or just having someone to talk to. I stayed over my friend's place in Birmingham and I got to know his housemates. For 2 days, it felt sooo good to cook, eat and play together with them. I haven't laughed so much ever since I came to the UK. Then it was London! My primary school friend accompanied me throughout those 1.5 days. When I came back to Nottingham, reality sank in...loneliness came creeping back.<br />
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Anyway, the above was written sometime in January. LOL It's already February! The month of L-O-V-E. Hehe...OMG, I saw snow for the first time in my life last month! I was rushing my assignment like mad in my room and then as I looked out the window the view outside took my breath away! Outside was covered in white and snowflakes were just falling slowly to the ground. The atmosphere outside was so still...as if time stood still. At that moment, I wanted to just sit there wrapped up in my fleece blanket and watch the snow fall! <3 nbsp="" p=""><br />
So after the submission of my 2 assignments, I finally had time to just rest and not think about deadlines for a while. It was then that I realised being busy isn't a bad thing after all. It helps one to get their mind off certain things and time seems to pass by quicker when one is occupied. Finally, I can say that I finally made "peace" with where I am and what I need to do. =)<br />
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除此之外,我也学会了生命中的一门功课。很多事情不能强求,人会因时间或环境而改变。不是每个人都像自己一样那么注重或在乎一些事情。只要从另一个角度去看,那么一切会显得更清晰。还有就是凡事不要想太多,想了也不能改变什么,那何必自讨苦吃?长大了,很多事情不需太执着,要适当的放手,这样才活得轻松些。<br />
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XOXO</3>Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-32077285508219783302012-12-24T21:31:00.000+10:302012-12-25T08:01:22.052+10:30It's the time of yearFor the first time I'm spending Christmas away from home. Although the Christmas atmosphere is everywhere in the UK, I still feel....a teeny weeny bit of homesickness. But it's OK, I'm fine. Really. It's just that seeing status updates and pictures of friends spending Christmas with their friends and family back home on Facebook does sting, no matter how I tell myself that it's OK.<br />
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Can't believe it's Christmas already, 7 days later we'll be welcoming the new year! And then the new term starts again. The moment I reached home from my Christmas eve dinner with the church saints, I received Christmas wishes on my wall and it made me really nostalgic. I reflected on the past year and thought...I didn't do much. I spent most of my time working, going out with friends and sleeping, or even wasting time away in front of the computer. To be honest, I don't think I spent much time with my family. *guilty* My aunts and cousins are already in Penang today with my niece and nephew and I really wish I could be home to see everyone!<br />
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I never knew how much I wanted to be with my family until now. T_T Like one of my friends said, she never knew she wanted to be home so much before she worked in the US for such a long time. I guess humans are like that. We never know what we want until we lose it. At this point I don't think I'm structuring coherent sentences. Anyway, I realised that every year I would make resolutions, all psyched up for the new year but....they never go the way as planned. This time I shall refrain myself from making resolutions. I just hope that I am able to complete my postgraduate studies and not get too shitty a grade.<br />
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In the past year, I fell in and out of love. Let's just say...it doesn't matter if you never get to be with the one you love because as long as he is happy, you are happy and that's all that matters. =) Finally, I can proudly say that I am freed from all those sticky love issues. I've never felt this relieved for a long time and it feels awesome!!!!<br />
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Tomorrow's Christmas...I think I'm spending my night in PJ's wrapped up in my warm blanket and watch Love Actually and have dessert. Hmmm...sounds like a plan! Whoever's reading this, merry christmas and a happy new year!!<br />
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XOXO<br />
MeLinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-55914662738048136052012-12-22T21:54:00.000+10:302012-12-23T08:24:38.416+10:30Love is selfless因为爱他,所以希望他幸福就算不能跟他在一起。这就是所谓的真爱吧!^_^Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-25632078946857635572012-12-10T13:09:00.000+10:302012-12-11T20:56:07.197+10:30有时候我真的不了解自己我到底是不是个怕寂寞的人?有时候觉得是,但有时候却觉得自己很喜欢一个人 - 一个人逛街、一个人买菜、一个人发呆、一个人探险。久而久之,就真的享受一个人的生活。也许我也算是怕改变的人吧。在这里两个多月了,也渐渐习惯了一个人。有时候很想找朋友聊聊天,又怕我打扰了人家,所以就制止自己去找人家。<br />
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前天一位朋友来找我。因多年不见,我对这个计划有点排斥,但相处了一天之后又慢慢熟了起来。人生就是这样吧,没有什么东西是永久的,有聚就有散。出去走了一天,我朋友就决定当晚回去。送他去火车站之后,突然心头有种郁闷。回到我房间面对着四面墙,没人跟我说话,没有人和我一起吃晚餐。这些不是我之前一直以来的习惯吗?怎么突然觉得不是滋味呢?<br />
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我朋友说人就是犯贱的。我想也是,在生活里我们不可能什么东西都依自己的意思行事。想一个人的时候,别人偏偏有空;而当我想要有人陪时,别人却很忙。也因为这样,为了不想造成别人的困扰,我变得很孤僻吧。在这里同班同学虽然都相处得很好,一旦下课各有各的生活和节目。想要找一个能够谈心事的朋友也难,每个人的文化不同,想要对方能够给予的忍耐度有限,完全不能自己。唉!算了吧,现在接受事实也好。离读完书还有九个月,我可以撑过去的。<br />
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寒假开始了,每个人都纷纷回家跟家人相聚庆祝圣诞节。原本宿舍的车场泊满了车,现在车场都空空的,看了有点心酸。好想一个人去背包旅行,但是又怕父母担心,因为一些地方扒手很多,治安没那么好。Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-66265225139546465712012-12-04T10:23:00.000+10:302012-12-04T20:54:22.770+10:30Just when I think things are getting better......it doesn't. It's like a never-ending cycle. I'm starting to get really sick of this. Getting so annoyed with myself even. I'll survive...I know I will, because I always do. :)<br />
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Been listening to this lately.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lbSOLBMUvIE" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Just when I thought I stopped missing...I do again. argh!<br />
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Well...time to study, no time to think!!!!<br />
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XOXOLinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-71656627077301879572012-12-02T00:32:00.000+10:302012-12-02T11:05:16.765+10:30Hello December!<div style="text-align: justify;">
How time flies! I know I know...I'm starting to sound like a broken record. lol. but i can't help it! I can't believe it's already December! December is...a month of magical moments to me, simply because it's Christmas month, or maybe because after December is the new year.</div>
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Anyway, enough about December. For the past week, I've been so so so stressed I don't even know where to start. First, I fell terribly sick but I managed to drag myself to class - call me <i>kiasu</i> but I really didn't want to miss out on any important information which could be of help to our presentation or assessments. For the first time I felt so helpless...I couldn't breathe because of congested nose, walking against the cold wind made it even worse. Most of the time I felt like hiding under my warm covers the whole day and wished I didn't have to get up.</div>
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Because our poster presentation was on Friday, 6 days leading to Friday I didn't step out of my room at all (walking to the kitchen doesn't count). I felt so tired but still I had to push myself to focus and prepare for the presentation. Was feeling emo most of the time, having to deal with the stress AND missing someone. I initially planned to get my poster printed the day before the presentation but I wasn't finished yet! I ended up staying up till 2am and because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep well due to stress and nervousness, I gulped down a mug of camomile tea before going to bed and it worked like magic! </div>
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The next day I got up really early, at 6:30am, so that I could rush to the print shop to get my poster printed before going to class. And it was that morning that I realised how IMPORTANT sleep is. I mean, I knew sleep was important all along but the effect of sleeping late just ONE night was incredible! I was starving (only had kit kat for lunch and 2 slices of pizza for dinner the day before) so I decided to make some oats to be eaten with the fresh cranberries I got. The cranberries were awfully sour, so I thought drizzling some honey on my oats would be nice right? I was so so so sleepy that I drizzled washing liquid on my oats! o_O To be honest, I'm thankful I didn't start eating it to realise what I'd done! I was literally standing there stunned for a few seconds before throwing the bowl of oats away. </div>
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That day I caught the bus really early for the first time here. The cold still air was really nice and calming. Everything seemed calm and slow-moving, which was the total opposite of how I felt. Was so relieved I managed to get my poster printed just in time for me to go to class. Oh, and because of sleep deprivation, I almost left my debit card at the store after paying. =/ </div>
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*fast forward to afternoon*</div>
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After my poster presentation, was fooling around with my classmates when I suddenly remembered that I needed to upload my poster online again because of an error. It was at that moment that I realised my pendrive wasn't with me! I was panicking, wondering where it could possibly be....and then...the print shop?! I had forgotten to get my pendrive from the print shop! *smacks forehead* Good thing the guy working there had kept it safe when I went back to collect it. Oh, and I discovered that I'm not the only one who has a major crush on our course leader/lecturer! =p </div>
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It was such a huuuuuge relief when the poster presentation finally ended! I was so so so so proud of myself for not giving up. That feeling was just indescribable! At least if I didn't get the grade I was hoping for, at least I know I've tried my best. =) Went to the pub opposite our uni for a drink with a few classmates and even though I was dead tired, I actually enjoyed it. It seemed like things were starting to change for the better. I guess before this I was too caught up and stressed about everything that I didn't bother to get to know my classmates better. Well, I took 3 months to settle down in Adelaide, perhaps after 3 months here I would feel much better? And one of my classmates commented that I sound really American. She's the second person to said this to me. Oh and we were sort of asking each other their age and again, I don't look my age...lol. </div>
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So the 1st day of Dec was spent doing laundry and basically relaxing the whole day. I really wanted to go for a walk in the city but the temperature outside turned me off. Maybe another day. Today I just enjoyed being <i>nua</i>.</div>
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And again, how time flies! 1st Dec is over...hello 2nd Dec!</div>
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<i>That's me with my poster (which cost GBP20!) xox</i></div>
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Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-68316268697931597072012-11-27T10:21:00.000+10:302012-11-27T20:51:45.502+10:30New horizonDear blog,<br />
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It's me again. I know you're tired of my emo rants lately, please bear with me. I guess it's true when they say it's a new day, new horizon...because everything seems so yesterday when you wake up the next day though sometimes you can't help but to feel like each new day is a continuation of that emo-ness you felt the previous day. But I digress. Today I woke up feeling much better...physically and emotionally. Yay!<br />
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Had a short chat with my bro last night because I was kind of desperate to talk to someone. I'm not exactly extremely close to my brother but we do find each other when we have things to rant/talk about. So yesterday I asked him if I could pack my bags and leave already. All he did was to say the things that I needed to hear (not necessarily the things I want to hear) and I felt much better after crying again. I finally experienced that overwhelming pain when you're truly missing someone so much. I really do miss everyone back home.<br />
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Do we feel because we're human, or are we human because we feel?<br />
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p.s.: I'm sure when I look back I'll laugh over all my emo blog posts...patiently waiting for that day to come.<br />
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XOXOLinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-32104831067097135912012-11-26T17:38:00.000+10:302012-11-27T06:03:08.026+10:30怎么样才能够停止对一个人的思念?<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/YItEEi_ZVaw" width="560"></iframe><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">一眼之念 一念执著</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">注定就此飞蛾扑火</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b>明知是祸 为何还不知所措</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b>最好不见 最好不念</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">如此才可不与你相恋</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">多一步的擦肩</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">就步步沦陷</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">是时间的过错</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">让我们只能错过</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b>我多想念 你多遥远</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"><b>早知道是苦果</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">这一刻也不想逃脱</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">可惜这字眼太刺眼</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">两个世界之后</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">只好 情深 缘浅</span><br />
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你有没有试过想一个人想到胸口好闷,好像快爆炸那样?说真的,这感觉还是前所未有。我到底怎么了?!啊!!!张依灵,醒醒吧!Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-60186094603675323262012-11-26T11:28:00.000+10:302012-11-26T21:59:07.501+10:30Another weekSo time does fly...week after week, just like that!<br />
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Been sick for a week...now I can finally breathe but still find food tasteless. I wonder why I even bother seasoning my food. Haha!<br />
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The weather's not too bad today...makes me feel much better, though I'm stuck indoors. If I was in Adelaide, I would've hopped on that tram and off I go to the beach already!<br />
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I wish we have a switch for everything, just turn it on and off whenever we like. Things would be much simpler me thinks.<br />
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Short rant for today. Laters!<br />
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XOXOLinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-47251106382462182772012-11-25T17:08:00.000+10:302012-11-26T03:38:52.238+10:30Good newsWow...2 posts in 1 day. So happy that he finally found his other half!<br />
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I always thought I'd feel sad when he eventually does but...surprisingly I don't feel sad. Instead, I'm overjoyed! Wheeee! I've waited for this moment for ages...<br />
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I have a strong feeling that when I go back to Penang, everything's gonna change for the better!<br />
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Another reason to celebrate! :D<br />
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XOXOLinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-80602403368018524572012-11-25T10:22:00.000+10:302012-11-25T20:53:09.177+10:30The moment I opened my eyes......I thought of someone. =) Hope that someone's having a good day today.<br />
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Was on FaceTime yesterday with my brother but as much as I'm amazed with technology, sometimes it brings so much frustrations. The connection kept disconnecting. I was able to hear him but I couldn't make out what he was trying to say. *sigh* It was good to catch up a bit but I had to shout into the microphone because my voice hasn't completely recovered from the cold.<br />
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The weather was really cold in the morning...didn't feel like getting out of bed but I know I have to face reality sooner or later. So I forced myself out of those warm covers and made breakfast, all the while still thinking of that someone. Got. To. Stop.<br />
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My poster presentation is coming up on Friday! OMG then a week later, I'd have to sit for Stats exam, and then it's holidays! Well, sort of. We have 2 assignments due right after the holidays so...not sure if it's gonna be a real holiday. hmmm...<br />
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Alright, abrupt end to a blogpost.<br />
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XOXO<br />
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<br />Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-18254259755514468042012-11-24T10:40:00.000+10:302012-11-24T21:50:14.703+10:30I wonder...what would have happened if I had continued studying postgraduate in Psychology straight after my fourth year of undergraduate studies?<br />
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It's quite amazing how things turn out. I remember one thing my lecturer said...it always comes to time. Sometimes something that seems good at a time would not necessarily be a good thing when you're in the future; and something that seems so terrible at a time would turn out to be a blessing afterwards. I completely agree to that because I have experienced this myself.<br />
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I still remember in year 2011, I had a huge fight with my family and even went on a hunger strike. And I didn't even celebrate my birthday then. Needless to say, I was feeling very miserable then. So I was determined to find a job, any job be it full-time or part-time, I just needed to keep myself occupied. So I started working as a part-time retail assistant, which turned out to be the biggest blessing in my life. Not only did I get to experience working in a retail industry, I also made a group of really good friends! After more than two months, I decided I needed a change of working environment so off to XX education counselling centre I went!<br />
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Well, I have mixed feelings about my 2nd job. What I loved about it was that I only had to go to work at 11am, which allowed me to sleep in a little. And because I was still working on a part-time basis, I wasn't expected much in terms of responsibilities. To be honest, I don't remember what I did the whole 6 months there, except for I don't know...having lazy moments and fooling around with my then colleague when our seniors weren't around.<br />
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One thing that never fails to make me laugh was my first impression of my then colleague (then, because now he's my friend...sort of. lol). First day of work and my boss was introducing me to the other 2 ppl in the office and he didn't even look up. I wasn't even sure if I should say hi or just walk to my 'corner'. Felt really awkward...until one day he asked if I wanted to go out for lunch. Honestly, I kind of felt relieved because I finally got to escape my corner for a while and OMG someone to talk to! *tears of joy* I haven't talked in the office at all since I started working there. You wouldn't know how torturing it is for me, a girl who talks non-stop 24/7 and laughs randomly when thinks of something funny. I think throughout that 6 months, I did change to become a person who controls myself a lot more - think before speaking etc.<br />
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Now 1 year and 3 months later, we're still friends...in fact we kept in touch quite a lot even after I've stopped working there. Then again, this makes me wonder...if I had gone into Masters right after my bachelor's degree, I wouldn't have worked as a RA and gotten to know my friends whom I'm still in close contact with; and if I hadn't changed jobs to work at XX education counselling centre, I wouldn't have gotten to know my then colleague, right? Oh, and not forgetting...I wouldn't have gotten the chance to drive around Penang and getting to know the roads! I've learnt the existence of so many roads in Penang just because I got lost a lot!<br />
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Just 2 months ago, I was contemplating to come to the UK or to defer it to next year because I wasn't mentally prepared to leave. However, my mom was determined to get me on that plane! lol. Well I think she did the right thing, if I hadn't gotten on that plane, I don't think I'd ever get myself to. Time really does fly...it's been 2 months...soon it'd be 3 months, 4 months...and then it'd be time to pack my bags and go home! A few nights ago when I was feeling terribly sick, I had a dream. In that dream, I felt the excitement of going home....I was happily packing all my things to be shipped home. I remember that smile on my face. I was genuinely happy. But of course when I woke up, the excitement faded.<br />
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Before I forget, I think staying back in Penang in 2011 was awesome because I also got to bond better with my college friends. We weren't exactly close back in college and when one of them went to Adelaide to complete her final year of undergraduate studies, we became a little closer. But it was our wed night market outings that got us much closer. As her bf is in Manchester, we always joke about how she's in a LDR with 2 people. lol. I think I tend to think way too much, like how when I get so excited to chat with her, I can't help but wonder if she feels the same or if she feels i'm way too annoying.<br />
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Anyway, I am so thankful for many things even though my life is not perfect. I am thankful for basically everything, even the bad and the ugly, because without them I wouldn't know how to appreciate the good things in life. To everyone who makes a difference in my life - I LOVE YOU!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYNiv73SOkSZ4l8iSLN5mHSbfkWsgGG1KInJJg1g1j6iGdqt7wy64f3A3b6qxyckDBcPCcIB3BbHJE76DlKQmova0a4-kz_V5tDnVpaWdGU_mS10DPvatfM1BN_uup6NOpetB1/s1600/true+love.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYNiv73SOkSZ4l8iSLN5mHSbfkWsgGG1KInJJg1g1j6iGdqt7wy64f3A3b6qxyckDBcPCcIB3BbHJE76DlKQmova0a4-kz_V5tDnVpaWdGU_mS10DPvatfM1BN_uup6NOpetB1/s320/true+love.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>This picture was taken in 2008, when I was having lunch with J in Adelaide. </i></div>
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<i>Love actually is all around. </i></div>
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XOXO<br />
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Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-41712527627149562072012-11-23T21:31:00.000+10:302012-11-24T18:51:14.804+10:30SunshineOK I wrote a long post and blogger.com decided to screw my post with gibberish ><<br />
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Because I'm lazy to re-type it. Here's a song I thought of while in the shower. This song brings back college memories, simply because it was introduced by a friend then. I remember listening to it on repeat for months! Enjoy!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/XxUtO41aWQ0" width="420"></iframe><br />
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I know this might sound crazy but I've already come up with a list of things I want to do when I go home:<br />
1. Organise a potluck with the Popular gang<br />
2. Go to every McD branch there is in Penang<br />
3. Cycle around Penang island<br />
4. Get a haircut - I know I'd definitely get lazy to do this, thus the reminder<br />
5. Baking with M<br />
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Anyway, today I felt way better than I did 2 days ago although nose still blocked, probably because today's weather was awesome! Sunshine!!!<br />
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p/s: I should really stop bugging my friends and blog more.<br />
XOXO<br />
<br />Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-30691189988796688382012-11-23T00:10:00.000+10:302012-11-23T10:40:44.154+10:30Voice-lessLooks like I've been blogging very frequently lately. Well, last week was really an emotional week. Wasn't sure if it was due to the weather, homesickness or PMS. When I finally returned to normal, I fell sick. I guess to me falling sick is the worst thing that could happen to me amidst all the work that I need to get done. It isn't too bad if I get to sleep and sleep and sleep but somehow I don't really take naps when I'm studying abroad for fear that I might not able to get up from my sleep/not being able to fall asleep at night.<br />
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As I only have classes on Wednesdays and Fridays, I stay indoors on days that I don't have classes. However, on Tuesday I fell sick and I just HAD to get some foods that could make me feel better so I braved the cold (wore a jacket over my PJ's) and got myself some lemons. If I were at home, my typical day would be drink lemon water, sleep, toilet, drink lemon water, sleep, toilet....you get the idea. I had class yesterday so I brought some lemon water along to class, which did make me feel better. My sore throat was getting better though I still had a runny nose. By 10pm I felt so so so tired that I went to bed early. And the weirdest thing happened - I was sweating profusely in the middle of the night - and that woke me up so I took off my socks BUT then I woke up again because my feet were feeling cold. Argh! How do I get a good night's rest if I'm feeling hot and cold all the time?!<br />
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Woke up today, thought to myself "hmmm...no more sore throat, yay!" but I was so so so wrong! I tried to sing and all I got was a croak. No voice came out from my throat. *SIGH* I had to keep clearing my throat which was sooooo annoying!!!! Went to an extra class today and I was secretly hoping that the tutor would NOT ask me questions because I sounded so awful!<br />
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Did I mention that I have a blocked nose too? Gah...breathing through my mouth is just sooo...<insert adjective="adjective">. So in short, I've been feeling miserably sick. So now breathing is just so difficult and I thought this song suited my mood at the moment. lol. Awesome song to be emo to.</insert><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/PnXrfksTjZ8" width="420"></iframe><br />
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XOXOLinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-36060586296696466182012-11-18T22:32:00.000+10:302012-11-19T19:13:17.775+10:30Is time ever enough?They say everything takes time. When you're in a situation, it feels like time is just creeping by really slowly. Sometimes you might think time isn't moving at all and you wonder to yourself when all of these would be over.<br />
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It's been 2 months since I arrived here. Two months is not long yet it's not very short either. Every time I'm away from home, I learn a little bit more about myself which I have never known...which is kind of scary in a way. At times I wonder if I do have a psychological issue (e.g., depression, bipolar). Many times when I laugh here, that laughter doesn't last...it fades away like vapour in the wind. And then I'm back in my room all alone, facing those four walls. I would look out at the sky but the sky here is gloomy most of the time, so there's no point in looking at it.<br />
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I talk to myself so often I think I might go crazy. On normal days, I'd have the following conversation with myself:<br />
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Me: You've got to snap out of this! You've got to be strong!<br />
Me2: I know...but sometimes I can't help it...<br />
Me: You know you've got to do what a girl's got to do!!<br />
Me2: I guess you're right...I'll try...<br />
Me: You can do this!<br />
Me2: I guess...<br />
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That's how I encourage myself when I have no one to talk to. I can't possibly keep looking for someone to talk to when I need to. Everyone has their own lives to live. Their world doesn't revolve around just me. When friends and family ask how I'm coping/doing, my usual standard reply would be "fine...good good, all normal" because there's no point in saying what's true when awkward silence would follow. I recently find that I get unusually emotional AFTER talking to my family. I always thought that talking to them would make me feel much better but right after I hang up, my tears decide to just come out and have some fun.<br />
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In a way I'm thankful that I'm out of my comfort zone at the moment. I am able to take a step back and see things more clearly. When I was in my comfort zone, I was under the protective wings of my family, being surrounded by friends to some extent I feel overwhelmed. I always longed for some alone time. How ironic...Now that I can have all the alone time in the world, I'd rather be surrounded by family and friends. I guess "you" are right, humans 'fan jian'. lol.<br />
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So I ponder on many many things, such as how change is inevitable in this world and that we have to learn to accept it, no matter how unwilling we feel. Had a 2-hour conversation with a friend of 14 years who is working in the US yesterday. We shared our feelings about going home and one thing she said that struck me was "I used to want to leave Malaysia and never go back, but as I grow older I realise that I just want to go home! I just want to pack my bags and leave!" At that moment I didn't feel so alone. I feel exactly the same way! My initial plan was to stay in the UK to find an internship or a job but now the plan's out the window! When I finish studying, I would want to fly home immediately. Forget about all the pounds that I could be earning, I just want to go home. I want to see my adorable niece and nephew grow up, spend time with them, and be a part of every happy occasion.<br />
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As I've been feeling emotional lately, you seem to find me at the right time every time. Come to think of it, I feel terrible. When you were going through difficult times, I was at a loss of words to say or things to do to cheer you up. I thank you for being so selfless, I don't know why I deserve a friend like you. Really. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve the people around me but yet God has brought each and everyone of you into my life! Perhaps this is a way for me to learn to appreciate the people around me.<br />
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p/s: So sorry to whoever that is still reading this. Nothing happy has really happened in my life and I really need to "pen down" my frustrations.<br />
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<br />Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-1129422581518267712012-11-06T17:08:00.000+10:302012-11-07T03:39:11.800+10:30I wonderwhat I would've done if I hadn't done Psychology. Sometimes I do think that I don't have the "talent" in studying. Doing assignments stresses me out to the core...makes me emo a LOT. I was browsing through Facebook (procrastinating as usual) and I came across a Facebook page my primary schoolmate sent me, asking me to "like" it. So apparently she opened her own music school. I still remember how she wasn't that good academically in school but she always had a passion for music. She played the piano and violin brilliantly! Now when I look at myself, I can't help but to wonder if I hadn't stopped music classes, or Taekwondo classes, or other fun classes that I used to love would I be doing something different now? What if I was never meant to do Psychology or worse still, masters?<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">"'What' and 'if' are two words as non-threatening as words can be, </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">but put them together side by side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life. What if....what if..." - Letters to Juliet</span></span><br />
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<br />Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-88467551102198617122012-11-04T21:11:00.000+10:302012-11-05T07:41:45.515+10:30人怎么不会吸取教训?人真的很奇怪 - 往往得不到的是最好的;得到了才发现原来自己并没有这么想要;失去了,又才来后悔为何当初不珍惜。<br />
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<br />Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-56669026456679108082012-11-03T12:40:00.000+10:302012-11-03T23:10:53.000+10:30Blue...I never understood why people use "blue" to describe feelings of down-ness. I mean, blue is my favourite colour and if I was given the choice, I would choose everything blue! So, for me blue is the colour that describes both happiness and sadness (not so much of sadness, but emo-ness). <div>
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I've been here for 7 weeks already. Time sure does fly when you're busy with your life, which is a good thing sometimes - when you need to get your mind off certain things. I still remember that feeling when I just arrived, everything was in a mess. Having to settle down quickly and catching up on missed lectures, readings and assignments was too much for me to handle. At one point I really wanted to just pack my bags and leave, forget about what I wanted to pursue, forget about why I even bothered coming here in the first place. I REALLY WANTED TO LEAVE! </div>
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There was an internal conflict for 2 weeks or so. I kept telling myself to be strong, I did it 5 years ago, I can do it this time - the final time! Although I was alone physically, I wasn't alone because God is here with me. But I guess somehow I overlooked that point and continued to dwell in the fact that I was alone! Desperate for some human interaction, I tried to rush home every day around the time when everyone would be online so that I could at least catch up with some of my friends. I even stayed home for 2-3 consecutive days when I didn't have classes, just so I could catch people online. LOL</div>
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However, this whole rushing-home-to-chat thing wasn't exactly working for me as I'm 8 hours behind Malaysian time and when my friends back home said good night one by one, I was yet again left feeling very lonely. So I stopped myself from doing things according to the time back home and just went with the flow - doing the things I need to get done and work at my own time and pace. I also told myself to truly experience Nottingham because I'd be here for only a year and 1 year is really a short time. I am sure that when the time comes for me to leave, I'd feel the unwillingness too as I create my own memories here - the good and the bad; the sweet and the bitter. </div>
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Slowly I'm getting used to being alone (but not lonely) - I get to do everything at my own pace, not having to conform to others' schedules. I still remember how I always get so cranky when I'm being woken up by any of my family members. Nobody should ever mess with my sleep! Going grocery-shopping alone allows me to de-stress as I plan what to cook/eat that afternoon/night. But sometimes being alone has its down side. Walking on the street seeing happy groups of friends talking and laughing without a care in the world, I wish I was back home where I could do the same. I think I hardly laugh from the heart since I stepped foot on Nottingham, I've become more quiet and reserved that it scares me sometimes. Is this me? Is this really me? I feel like I have two sides of me - the crazy side and the reserved side. I can't even tell which is the real me anymore. Perhaps it depends whom I'm around with. </div>
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On sunny days, I walk around the city with a big smile on my face feeling that nothing can ever put me down! It's funny how when I was back home, I complained about the heat a lot! I'm usually quite heat-tolerant but I just dislike the fact that I start to sweat even right after a shower. Since it rains here most of the time and the weather is often gloomy, I really really cherish sunny days a LOT! You don't know how happy I am on sunny days. I guess my classmate is pretty tired of hearing me say "OMG It's sunny today!!! I love it!" on every sunny day. HAHAHA </div>
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Somehow today I woke up feeling a little blue without a reason. Maybe there is but I don't know what it is. It definitely cannot be PMS because it's history. lol. Maybe I'm starting to get homesick again...missing all the outings back home. I really miss just being myself, without being judged by my close friends. I'm also missing my bed terribly! T_T I've been having backaches every day when I wake up because of the mattress. I got it replaced but it's still not as firm as the one I have back home. *sigh*</div>
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So it's lunchtime again...gotta go cook!</div>
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XOXO</div>
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Me</div>
Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-50920051399889501692012-10-30T10:26:00.000+10:302012-10-30T20:58:25.117+10:30Wheee!Since my life has been deprived of some excitement, here are 3 things that excite me! :D<br />
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- I trimmed my bangs myself for the first time in my life! LOL I gave myself a haircut before in secondary school when my aunt who used to cut my hair was away on a holiday, and that was it. I got myself a haircut before I flew here but then I realised that my bangs were a tad long, and it'd be wayyy long by the time I go home next year. So I took matters into my own hands. Instead of spending 20 pounds to go to a hairdresser, I bought a thinning scissors for 4 pounds (which I could use over and over again in the future) from a pharmacy and trimmed my bangs. I didn't dare go too short, just in case it turned out bad.<br />
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- My friend is getting married in September next year and she invited me to be her jimui!! I've never been a jimui in my life....so I don't exactly know what a jimui does. However I'm still really excited!!! I'll make sure that I'll be back in Penang by then so that I don't miss another friend's wedding! *fingers crossed* :D<br />
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- It snowed a few nights ago but I missed it. Was already asleep by then. I'm still excited! I'm wishing for a white Christmas. I know, holidays are still far away and I'm already thinking about holidays! Ahhh!<br />
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Anyway, I'm so glad I'm finally writing happy posts!! Wheee!!!<br />
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p/s: Sunny days make me happy! It's sunny today!<br />
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XOXO,<br />
MeLinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-43177061014715771682012-10-28T00:06:00.000+10:302012-10-28T09:37:47.352+10:30我回来了两个小时前跟一位槟城的朋友聊天,她在为她的感情生活烦恼。其实跟她聊了之后,我觉得很欣慰她懂得为自己的未来着想。她和男友交往三年多,一切事情都是男友安排、管理。你要知道她男友是多么的大男人。有一次我们三姐妹出去逛街,正在有兴致地一面吃着一面聊天时她男友拨电话给她,要他立刻在楼下等他。我当时很惊讶,怎么连吃个东西也要管啊?而且我们也还没吃完,他就要她回家,这不合理吧?我曾经想,她真的要把她的幸福交到他手中吗?他们可能有结果吗?<br />
<br />
她说她受够了他的约束,他的自私,想要做个了断。当然还有种种原因的存在。我真的很为她开心因为只有想要挣开的想法才会有行动。很多女生习惯了另一半在身边,即使再不开心也没有勇气提出分手去面对改变。所以,我一定全力支持你!!!我相信你的决定会是以你的未来和幸福为前提。我恨钦佩那些有勇气面对分手的女生,因为真的很不容易。<br />
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Totally irrelevant post below:<br />
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I suddenly have this deep hatred for men who drink. OK, maybe not hatred...but 反感.<br />
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XOXO<br />
MeLinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0Nottingham, UK52.9547832 -1.158108652.8782552 -1.3160371 53.031311200000005 -1.0001801000000001tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-64031578438891001682012-10-08T22:05:00.000+10:302012-10-09T07:35:47.137+10:30原来......我还没完全放下。<br />
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刚刚看了一位朋友面书上的相簿,看到了他们去骑脚车。当中有她和他。不知道为什么,照片中也没有特别的什么,但是我心里就是觉得不是滋味。也许,<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">我的离开对你来说是一种释放......我觉得自己好傻,明知她永远会在你心中占着很重要的地位,而我却装作没这回事。在看喜剧的我不知不觉流下眼泪,也不知道是不是又想家了,还是为了别的事情。总之,身在国外的我特别容易流泪。唉,真讨厌这样的自己。虽然表面看起来好像什么事情都没有,但是当被一些事情刺激的时候又再发作。</span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/g7xmoYFFduk" width="420"></iframe>Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0Nottingham, UK52.95477 -1.15808652.878242 -1.3160144999999999 53.031298000000007 -1.0001575tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-28194015533383275812012-10-02T09:45:00.000+09:302012-10-02T18:16:08.480+09:30还是一样每次擦干眼泪,跟自己说加油!我好想好想就这样,躺在床上大哭,什么也不做,直到眼泪都哭干为止,然后再重新出发。但是,实际上时间紧迫,每次哭了就立刻擦干眼泪然后若无其事地继续做该做的事。不知道这样子能够撑多久......快要精神崩溃了。想当年我是多么地勇敢与独立,那个女孩跑去了哪里?怎么人长越大越懦弱?真是可笑!如果我能让脑袋停止想念那该多好,那一切就没事了!好久没有开怀大笑了,也没有尽情歌唱。在路上走着想要唱歌的时候发现那把嗓子好陌生,好像从来没听过,声音里也似乎隐藏着伤痛与寂寞。<br />
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在别人眼里我就是一个嘻嘻哈哈的开心果,只有真正了解我的人才知道我其实很多愁善感。哭也从来不会在家人面前哭,免得他们担心。还记得在机场时看见妈妈眼眶泛红,我为了压抑自己的情绪就用最快的速度走进boarding gate,不想当场大哭。<br />
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有是时候重拾心情去做功课了。Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0Nottingham, UK52.95477 -1.15808652.878242 -1.3160144999999999 53.031298000000007 -1.0001575tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-91933513847707495582012-10-01T21:00:00.000+09:302012-10-02T05:55:41.300+09:30Too overwhelmedAnd again, another emo blog post. Well, it's been a week already and it feels like time is moving oh-so-slowly. I guess it's just a temporary feeling. Right now I wish time could fast forward to my graduation. I'd like to go travel and go home and do the things I want to do. Having to deal with being away from home + not having any friends + lots of work to do = 1 very emo girl. Just sitting in the library searching for articles is enough to make my eyes well up in a blur. Just turning on the laptop and seeing my buddy in Penang is also enough for me to tear. Every little thing makes me emotional at this stage. I wonder when this will all end. Hey you...yeah you, thank you so much for always being there and trying to make me laugh when I don't feel like it. I know you're also going through a lot but you still try to cheer me up. Thank you!Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0Nottingham, UK52.95477 -1.15808652.878242 -1.3160144999999999 53.031298000000007 -1.0001575tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11571160.post-72132803711615822592012-09-30T20:10:00.000+09:302012-09-30T20:11:02.115+09:30我真的不爱哭是真的...可能是泪腺出了问题。我真的不爱哭......Linhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12184599485209658347noreply@blogger.com0Nottingham, Cathedral (Stop Y3), Nottingham NG1, UK52.95477 -1.15808652.801923 -1.473943 53.107617000000005 -0.84222899999999989