Every single thing - songs, people on the streets, the colour of the sky, pics of family and friends - u name it, makes me wanna cry.
Even chatting with a friend makes me cry.
First time ever in my life, I wanna cry n cry n cry n cry n cry until the tears in me run dry.
I wanna cry till the sun rises on the horizon the next day.
I wanna cry till every emotion is numbed.
I wanna cry till I never cry ever again in my lifetime.
I wanna cry till my eyes go blind.
I just wanna cry...
I just need a shoulder to lean on n cry,
or to cry in a friend/family member's embrace.
YF, sorry if I scared u...thanks for listening to me, really appreciate it but my tears are flowing again. Damn!! I'll try to be strong...really need to. =)
XOXO,
Me
Saturday, March 22, 2008
为什么...
...我从来就不会为别人着想？我总是顾着自己的利益行事。
刚刚读过我小学好朋友的blog, 目前在考虑要到哪里念书。
当我看他开心的文字，感觉到他跟家人团聚的幸福！
他提到想到纽西兰念书，但是一年里就花上好大一笔钱，又不想爸妈为钱的事而操心。
读着，读着，眼泪又不听使唤的像瀑布般流下...
为什么，我就没有为我爸妈想过？
因为自己的野心想到外国读书，就没有考虑过他们是否担当得起这个负担。
毕竟，他们的年纪也大了，是时候让他们享福。
之前又想过找份兼职工作，但开学了，觉得如果做工的话，就没时间做功课，所以也没有找了。
有好几次，别人都问我我是否会逗留在澳洲找份工作，安顿下来，我都不知道要怎么回答。
一方面，我想留下来赚些奥币再回去，一方面又不舍得家人，想尽快回去找份工作，能够天天陪在他们身边。
现在我才明白爸妈不是永远都会陪在我们身边，他们也许明天就走了，那时候，我们就会后悔没有好好孝顺他们，遗憾也来不及了。
以前中年的时候，总是想尽快离开家到外国念书，不必再听爸妈唠唠叨叨。
但，我现在才真的真得明白他们所做的一切都是为我好！为什么就不能让我早点明白呢？！为什么？！
这是我对自己和爸妈的承诺：我会好好孝顺你们到你们离开我。其实想早点结婚的原因也是希望我的孩子能够至少跟他的外婆外公有接触。
爸，妈，你们也许不知道，我真的真的很感谢你们对我的养育之恩，为我做的一切！
XOXO,
Me
刚刚读过我小学好朋友的blog, 目前在考虑要到哪里念书。
当我看他开心的文字，感觉到他跟家人团聚的幸福！
他提到想到纽西兰念书，但是一年里就花上好大一笔钱，又不想爸妈为钱的事而操心。
读着，读着，眼泪又不听使唤的像瀑布般流下...
为什么，我就没有为我爸妈想过？
因为自己的野心想到外国读书，就没有考虑过他们是否担当得起这个负担。
毕竟，他们的年纪也大了，是时候让他们享福。
之前又想过找份兼职工作，但开学了，觉得如果做工的话，就没时间做功课，所以也没有找了。
有好几次，别人都问我我是否会逗留在澳洲找份工作，安顿下来，我都不知道要怎么回答。
一方面，我想留下来赚些奥币再回去，一方面又不舍得家人，想尽快回去找份工作，能够天天陪在他们身边。
现在我才明白爸妈不是永远都会陪在我们身边，他们也许明天就走了，那时候，我们就会后悔没有好好孝顺他们，遗憾也来不及了。
以前中年的时候，总是想尽快离开家到外国念书，不必再听爸妈唠唠叨叨。
但，我现在才真的真得明白他们所做的一切都是为我好！为什么就不能让我早点明白呢？！为什么？！
这是我对自己和爸妈的承诺：我会好好孝顺你们到你们离开我。其实想早点结婚的原因也是希望我的孩子能够至少跟他的外婆外公有接触。
爸，妈，你们也许不知道，我真的真的很感谢你们对我的养育之恩，为我做的一切！
XOXO,
Me
Monday, March 17, 2008
What I came across
While surfing the internet, I came across this quote:
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past,
you can't go on well in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
you can't go on well in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
XOXO,
Me
Me
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Maybe...
...it's God's sign to let me know I'm not alone.
Every time my world crumbles, I'll bump into people I know, people who mean something to me. =)
After letting out the tears in the morning chatting with my friend and sms-ing my best friend back home, I sms-ed my mom to let her know I actually miss them alot, which resulted in more crying. Anyway, as I was walking to the bus stop this afternoon, I bumped into the friend whom I was chatting with...and what do u know?! My tears flowed out like streams of river =S It wasn't a very pretty sight. We hugged and that instant I felt that I'm not alone. Well, it was quite a funny way how we met. We were queuing up at the Adelaide airport and I heard her squealing about the security dogs so I turned around and we smiled at each other. I thought that was the end of it but little did I know that she's actually studying at the same campus as I am. And I'm not sure if it's coincidence, 2nd sem last year, we took the same subject and from then on I didn't have to dread going to class alone cause I know that she'll be there, together with some other friends.
Then after class today, on the way back to my apartment, I bumped into a friend whom I got to know last year in Easter Camp. Well, I was his angel. LOL Anyway, when he asked how I'm doing, I felt like crying again. Luckily I excused myself fast...cause I needed to get some stuff before heading home. While walking, a lady opened her arms wide and walked towards me, looking really happy to see me. On second look, I realised that she's the resident pastor who stays at the hostel I used to live in. Last year, she prayed for me at the dining table because I was too stressed and was about to cry. This year, she appeared again on the same day I cried. I think it's really God.
Every time someone asks me how I'm doing, I do not know how to answer. How I'm doing, as in physically, emotionally or mentally? If u're talking about the physical aspect, can't u see for urself? Mentally...If I'm not fine mentally I wouldn't be able to converse with you, would I?? My emotions change like the weather, sometimes predictable sometimes not. So it's hard to say. Right now, if you ask me how I'm doing, I'll say I'm not doing fine. I'm panicking about assignments, missing my parents, relatives and friends badly AND looking forward to summer holidays (I know, summer is still here...but I can't wait already!!).
I learnt today in my psychology lecture, that dreams are unsatisfied desires. So I reckon that my desire to go home is suppressed to the extent that I dream of them. OK, better go..starting to babble again.
XOXO,
Me
Every time my world crumbles, I'll bump into people I know, people who mean something to me. =)
After letting out the tears in the morning chatting with my friend and sms-ing my best friend back home, I sms-ed my mom to let her know I actually miss them alot, which resulted in more crying. Anyway, as I was walking to the bus stop this afternoon, I bumped into the friend whom I was chatting with...and what do u know?! My tears flowed out like streams of river =S It wasn't a very pretty sight. We hugged and that instant I felt that I'm not alone. Well, it was quite a funny way how we met. We were queuing up at the Adelaide airport and I heard her squealing about the security dogs so I turned around and we smiled at each other. I thought that was the end of it but little did I know that she's actually studying at the same campus as I am. And I'm not sure if it's coincidence, 2nd sem last year, we took the same subject and from then on I didn't have to dread going to class alone cause I know that she'll be there, together with some other friends.
Then after class today, on the way back to my apartment, I bumped into a friend whom I got to know last year in Easter Camp. Well, I was his angel. LOL Anyway, when he asked how I'm doing, I felt like crying again. Luckily I excused myself fast...cause I needed to get some stuff before heading home. While walking, a lady opened her arms wide and walked towards me, looking really happy to see me. On second look, I realised that she's the resident pastor who stays at the hostel I used to live in. Last year, she prayed for me at the dining table because I was too stressed and was about to cry. This year, she appeared again on the same day I cried. I think it's really God.
Every time someone asks me how I'm doing, I do not know how to answer. How I'm doing, as in physically, emotionally or mentally? If u're talking about the physical aspect, can't u see for urself? Mentally...If I'm not fine mentally I wouldn't be able to converse with you, would I?? My emotions change like the weather, sometimes predictable sometimes not. So it's hard to say. Right now, if you ask me how I'm doing, I'll say I'm not doing fine. I'm panicking about assignments, missing my parents, relatives and friends badly AND looking forward to summer holidays (I know, summer is still here...but I can't wait already!!).
I learnt today in my psychology lecture, that dreams are unsatisfied desires. So I reckon that my desire to go home is suppressed to the extent that I dream of them. OK, better go..starting to babble again.
XOXO,
Me
Weird dreams in the night
And again...I had weird dreams.
I know one of the dreams was about my insecurity and I shall not reveal the dream here cause it's juz too out-of-this-world even I cannot believe it myself.
You know, I made this new year resolution that I shall not be too emotional anymore but somehow sometimes I feel like crying!! Anyway, back to my dreams. I dreamt that I was back in my aunt's house and my cousin brought her 6-month-old son along all the way from Singapore. He was really really happy to see me and he wanted me to carry him. In that dream, I actually felt how I felt for him in real life. That warm fuzzy feeling everytime I see/carry him. While learning about child language development yesterday, I nearly cried, thinking that when I get back and see him again, he'd be 1+ year old and could speak already. Seriously I never felt so much for a baby before I treat him like my own son and I really really really really love him to bits.
I don't know if this is a test from God or what, but everytime when my life seems to be perfect, it crumbles down again...and feelings of insecurity and depression overwhelm me so much that I can't hold back my tears any longer. Why?! Why do we even have to grow up? I thought studying overseas would be fun, you know? I always thought it as a holiday...but no. When reality sinkcs in, lfe is not as easy as that. I hate it!! Another thing I hate is that I get attached to people too easily. I hate it when that happens because I have to have people I'm attached to to be around often. Not always, but often. To this point, I dunno what I'm babbling about anymore...
p/s: Sue...I don't think I'll find back me in Adelaide...I worry too much here, I cry too much here...
XOXO,
Me
I know one of the dreams was about my insecurity and I shall not reveal the dream here cause it's juz too out-of-this-world even I cannot believe it myself.
You know, I made this new year resolution that I shall not be too emotional anymore but somehow sometimes I feel like crying!! Anyway, back to my dreams. I dreamt that I was back in my aunt's house and my cousin brought her 6-month-old son along all the way from Singapore. He was really really happy to see me and he wanted me to carry him. In that dream, I actually felt how I felt for him in real life. That warm fuzzy feeling everytime I see/carry him. While learning about child language development yesterday, I nearly cried, thinking that when I get back and see him again, he'd be 1+ year old and could speak already. Seriously I never felt so much for a baby before I treat him like my own son and I really really really really love him to bits.
I don't know if this is a test from God or what, but everytime when my life seems to be perfect, it crumbles down again...and feelings of insecurity and depression overwhelm me so much that I can't hold back my tears any longer. Why?! Why do we even have to grow up? I thought studying overseas would be fun, you know? I always thought it as a holiday...but no. When reality sinkcs in, lfe is not as easy as that. I hate it!! Another thing I hate is that I get attached to people too easily. I hate it when that happens because I have to have people I'm attached to to be around often. Not always, but often. To this point, I dunno what I'm babbling about anymore...
p/s: Sue...I don't think I'll find back me in Adelaide...I worry too much here, I cry too much here...
XOXO,
Me
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
What Are The Keys To Your Heart?
cool!! it's quite accurate...except 1 or 2. XD
Sometimes I just hate Australia. Everything closes down so early and when it comes to public holidays, nothing's opened!! Gotta wait another day to get my fan...I'm melting...
XOXO,
Me
Sometimes I just hate Australia. Everything closes down so early and when it comes to public holidays, nothing's opened!! Gotta wait another day to get my fan...I'm melting...
XOXO,
Me
Sunday, March 09, 2008
New Life
3 weeks have come and gone since I came back to old boring Adelaide. When I boarded the plane at the Penang International Airport (PIA) alone for the first time, I thought, "Damn!! I'm turning 20 this year, it's time to grow up and face the harsh reality of life!" Well, although I boarded the plane alone when I went home, it was different because I knew I was going back to the place where my parents shower me with love whereas this time, I'm leaving for a place where I have to be independent in taking care of things myself whilst juggling with studies. I so wanted to cry but I held back the tears, thinking that I must NOT break my new year resolution!! As I said before, I'm a very confused girl. I feel like I'm living 2 lives now - 1 in Adelaide and the other 1 in Penang. Everytime when I start to get used to things, I have to leave for the other place. Only then I realised that I'm the kind of person who doesn't like changes. I get stressed and depressed for sometime before getting used to things. =(
So, before I came back to Adelaide during the summer, I planned to move out of my hostel. The reasons are:
What a crappy post...anyway, will update when I'm in a better mood...hope I don't get depressed anytime soon. =S
XOXO,
Me
So, before I came back to Adelaide during the summer, I planned to move out of my hostel. The reasons are:
- I'm sick of the hostel food and seriously the manager is over charging us (at least i save some money when I move out)
- I wanna be more independent - both in life and entertainment. In the aspect of life, I guess I wanna learn some living skills such as cooking and managing a place; in entertainment sense, I don't wanna always depend on other people for entertainment, you know, cause I used to crash my hostel mates' rooms so often that sometimes I just can't sit still and finish my assignment! XP
- Moving to the city equals no more 30-35 mins bus rides to the city.
- Thinking of working in the city...see how it goes =)
What a crappy post...anyway, will update when I'm in a better mood...hope I don't get depressed anytime soon. =S
XOXO,
Me
Saturday, February 23, 2008
1st post back in Adelaide
As you can see in my title, I'm back in Adelaide.
Wasn't supposed to be back this early, anyway...it's a long story.
I woke up this morning, stared at the four walls of my room and suddenly I felt so alone!! ='(
Most of my friends are attached this year...when I arrived, only then I realised that 2 of my closest friends are attached to each other!
Nothing has changed, I know they're still my friends, but somehow I feel that I can't find them whenever I want anymore. They might wanna spend time alone...
This year I wanna be independent, as in I can have fun and all without having to go kacau my friends. I shall learn how to live like there's no one around me...
It's 12pm already...great! I shall go n prepare to go out...
XOXO,
Me
Wasn't supposed to be back this early, anyway...it's a long story.
I woke up this morning, stared at the four walls of my room and suddenly I felt so alone!! ='(
Most of my friends are attached this year...when I arrived, only then I realised that 2 of my closest friends are attached to each other!
Nothing has changed, I know they're still my friends, but somehow I feel that I can't find them whenever I want anymore. They might wanna spend time alone...
This year I wanna be independent, as in I can have fun and all without having to go kacau my friends. I shall learn how to live like there's no one around me...
It's 12pm already...great! I shall go n prepare to go out...
XOXO,
Me
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Still caught up...
...in a whirlwind of confusion.
I've said this before but I'm gonna say it again - I can't believe I'm turning 20 this year!!!!!
It's been 8 years since I left primary school....
...3 years since I left high school.
...2 years since I left college.
Time does fly when you're having fun. Just today, I was on the phone with an old friend and we couldn't believe that our Form 3 years are over. That was the year where I got closer to her...and the rest is just history.
So, turning 20 soon means that I have to face the grown up world sooner or later. Over the years, I've learnt that it is very important to be yourself. Being as naive as I was, I thought that as long as we're true to ourselves, we do not have to give a damn about what other people think or say. How very wrong I was. We live in a world where pleasing people is a "should-do". We can choose not to, but our social life will suffer tremendously. On the other hand, if we choose to please people, we suffer inside.
*at this point I'm not thinking coherently, so ignore whatever grammar mistakes there is*
Setting: High school Form 3, 2003; Classroom
Character: Y and I (E)
Y: E, you know, sometimes I admire you alot.
E: Oh? And y is that?
Y: I dunno...It's like I admire your principles.
E: My principles? *confused as I never knew I had principles, LOL*
Y: Yeah...You stick to them well. You're the kind of person who listens to people's suggestions, but decides yourself whether you wanna follow or not. That's a very good quality. You don't reject others' opinions straightaway, you listen then decide.
E: Ohhh...
That was what encouraged me to be myself. Listen but decide myself whether what I do is right or not. Unfortunately, I remember what people say too easily that it bothers me sometimes. I may be very happy but I'd feel down the moment I hear something that makes me think and wonder.
I ponder on what people say too much sometimes that I feel like I need to catch my breath.
I wanna be who I wanna be, but on the other hand, I care about what people say.
Sometimes we wanna say "I don't care what people think or say" but we can't. Cause nobody can just NOT care about what people think or say!!
I shall not reveal what's bothering me. I'll just say that my beliefs since I was young were shattered since I went to Aus because people there tell me what I SHOULD do and SHOULD not do. I'm confused. I wanna stand firm to my beliefs and yet I care about what people say. =S ARGH!! This is so bad.
Just came back from tea with SX and initially we had a really good conversation until he mentioned THAT. It made me feel confused again!!
N said "people change____ of their ____ because they feel insecure about it, if you're confident about _____ _____ then no need to change lo"
By now, you should've guessed what I'm talking about. Haih.
Guys...another thing I do not understand...I find it so hard to relate to this "species". =(
I guess it's a wonder how God made females and males so differently that we cannot live without either one of them.
When will this habit of my thinking change?? I can't sleep without finishing up this post cause I will think myself to sleep and I'll end up dreaming weird dreams...
I guess right now, this song relates to me the most...
Imperfect girl
I don't have a perfect smile
maybe I'm just too shy
I'm not a beauty queen
on covers of magazines
that's something you can't deny
I got my own style
So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl
I wouldn't be classed as cool
I have to bend the rules
Maybe I don't fit in
I didn't always win
that's something you can't deny
I'm happy with my own style
So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl
It's all just make-believe
The standards that we hear
It doesn't have to be
A perfect world, a perfect world
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl
I need some encouragement right now, but who will ever understand how I feel?
There is only One Person. God.
As I'm thinking, I remembered the book I've read last year. I've learnt alot from that book and I'll always remember. =) In it, there's a passage that goes like this:
Whenever I feel like I'm drifting away from You, You give me the wisdom to ponder upon Your words and pick me up, drawing me nearer to You. And I thank You.
XOXO,
Me
I've said this before but I'm gonna say it again - I can't believe I'm turning 20 this year!!!!!
It's been 8 years since I left primary school....
...3 years since I left high school.
...2 years since I left college.
Time does fly when you're having fun. Just today, I was on the phone with an old friend and we couldn't believe that our Form 3 years are over. That was the year where I got closer to her...and the rest is just history.
So, turning 20 soon means that I have to face the grown up world sooner or later. Over the years, I've learnt that it is very important to be yourself. Being as naive as I was, I thought that as long as we're true to ourselves, we do not have to give a damn about what other people think or say. How very wrong I was. We live in a world where pleasing people is a "should-do". We can choose not to, but our social life will suffer tremendously. On the other hand, if we choose to please people, we suffer inside.
*at this point I'm not thinking coherently, so ignore whatever grammar mistakes there is*
Setting: High school Form 3, 2003; Classroom
Character: Y and I (E)
Y: E, you know, sometimes I admire you alot.
E: Oh? And y is that?
Y: I dunno...It's like I admire your principles.
E: My principles? *confused as I never knew I had principles, LOL*
Y: Yeah...You stick to them well. You're the kind of person who listens to people's suggestions, but decides yourself whether you wanna follow or not. That's a very good quality. You don't reject others' opinions straightaway, you listen then decide.
E: Ohhh...
That was what encouraged me to be myself. Listen but decide myself whether what I do is right or not. Unfortunately, I remember what people say too easily that it bothers me sometimes. I may be very happy but I'd feel down the moment I hear something that makes me think and wonder.
I ponder on what people say too much sometimes that I feel like I need to catch my breath.
I wanna be who I wanna be, but on the other hand, I care about what people say.
Sometimes we wanna say "I don't care what people think or say" but we can't. Cause nobody can just NOT care about what people think or say!!
I shall not reveal what's bothering me. I'll just say that my beliefs since I was young were shattered since I went to Aus because people there tell me what I SHOULD do and SHOULD not do. I'm confused. I wanna stand firm to my beliefs and yet I care about what people say. =S ARGH!! This is so bad.
Just came back from tea with SX and initially we had a really good conversation until he mentioned THAT. It made me feel confused again!!
N said "people change____ of their ____ because they feel insecure about it, if you're confident about _____ _____ then no need to change lo"
By now, you should've guessed what I'm talking about. Haih.
Guys...another thing I do not understand...I find it so hard to relate to this "species". =(
I guess it's a wonder how God made females and males so differently that we cannot live without either one of them.
When will this habit of my thinking change?? I can't sleep without finishing up this post cause I will think myself to sleep and I'll end up dreaming weird dreams...
I guess right now, this song relates to me the most...
Imperfect girl
I don't have a perfect smile
maybe I'm just too shy
I'm not a beauty queen
on covers of magazines
that's something you can't deny
I got my own style
So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl
I wouldn't be classed as cool
I have to bend the rules
Maybe I don't fit in
I didn't always win
that's something you can't deny
I'm happy with my own style
So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl
It's all just make-believe
The standards that we hear
It doesn't have to be
A perfect world, a perfect world
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl
I need some encouragement right now, but who will ever understand how I feel?
There is only One Person. God.
As I'm thinking, I remembered the book I've read last year. I've learnt alot from that book and I'll always remember. =) In it, there's a passage that goes like this:
“Accept yourself. Love yourself. Respect yourself…If my house is based on God’s word, then even when the rains of bad feelings and self doubt come, my house of self-esteem will stand firm because it is built on the rock of God’s unchanging truth, not my ever-shifting feelings about myself. Self-esteem is necessary for all psychological health, and there is no absolutely sure basis for self-esteem other than the assurance of God’s love for me.”
Whenever I feel like I'm drifting away from You, You give me the wisdom to ponder upon Your words and pick me up, drawing me nearer to You. And I thank You.
XOXO,
Me
Friday, February 01, 2008
Queer Dream...
Due to unknown reasons, I haven't been sleeping very soundly lately. I keep having weird dreams that make me wonder their meaning.
Once, I dreamt that my cousin's baby boy could talk already although he was only 5 months old.
Just last night, I dreamt about so many people in a dream. There were C, N, H, S, a teacher from my primary school and a few unknown people. In the dream, we were all back in high school and the weird thing is C, H and S who are males happen to be in the same class too. N, my best friend, spent most of her time with them instead of me and it made me really jealous and the thing that surprised me most was C actually came to spend time with me because he understood how I felt. O.O Then after a while, the scene changed to a huge carpark and I was attempting to drive up a slope with my mom's auto car. I ended up nearly knocking the sides of the slope n killing everyone who was in the car. =S Then the scene changed again, this time I was in the toilet trying to pass motion (I know, it's super weird right?!) and apparently that primary school teacher asked me to flush more often as the feces will harden and it'll b hard to flush it away later on. *faint*
Now, tell me...what kind of dream is THAT?!
XOXO,
Me
Once, I dreamt that my cousin's baby boy could talk already although he was only 5 months old.
Just last night, I dreamt about so many people in a dream. There were C, N, H, S, a teacher from my primary school and a few unknown people. In the dream, we were all back in high school and the weird thing is C, H and S who are males happen to be in the same class too. N, my best friend, spent most of her time with them instead of me and it made me really jealous and the thing that surprised me most was C actually came to spend time with me because he understood how I felt. O.O Then after a while, the scene changed to a huge carpark and I was attempting to drive up a slope with my mom's auto car. I ended up nearly knocking the sides of the slope n killing everyone who was in the car. =S Then the scene changed again, this time I was in the toilet trying to pass motion (I know, it's super weird right?!) and apparently that primary school teacher asked me to flush more often as the feces will harden and it'll b hard to flush it away later on. *faint*
Now, tell me...what kind of dream is THAT?!
XOXO,
Me
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Death
It's been days since the tragic bus crash at Slim River happened. When I first heard it from my friend, Pras, I thought it was another bus crash, just like the ones that usually happen around Chinese New Year period but when she said that one of her friends got killed in it, I gave it a second thought. I have never lost a loved one, and I would never want to go through the pain. I didn't know what to say so I brushed it aside, hoping that I could distract her from thinking about it too much. After all, when it comes to sad stuff, I have no clue how to console a person.
Didn't know how serious the bus crash was until I visited a friend's blog at www.xinch.wordpress.com. Apparently, friends of one of the victims in the bus crash, Nian Ning, are coming up with a petition for safer bus rides to urge the authorities to take action in preventing future similar incidents from happening. Year after year, there have been only talk but no action. I guess although I can never understand how her loved ones feel, I bet it must be extremely hard. So I'm doing my part to spread the news.
The news article about the Nian Ning: http://xinch.wordpress.com/2008/01/29/remember-nian-ning/
Bus Crash No More blog:
http://buscrashnomore.blogspot.com/
Didn't know how serious the bus crash was until I visited a friend's blog at www.xinch.wordpress.com. Apparently, friends of one of the victims in the bus crash, Nian Ning, are coming up with a petition for safer bus rides to urge the authorities to take action in preventing future similar incidents from happening. Year after year, there have been only talk but no action. I guess although I can never understand how her loved ones feel, I bet it must be extremely hard. So I'm doing my part to spread the news.
The news article about the Nian Ning: http://xinch.wordpress.com/2008/01/29/remember-nian-ning/
Bus Crash No More blog:
http://buscrashnomore.blogspot.com/
Since none of these people are bothered to do anything about it, it’s up to us to push for a change. Bloggers,
Please post this on your blog now to help:
Chung Lern and Nian Ning’s families would like all families and friends of the victims, dead or alive, in the Slim River Bus Crash to come forward and join them in taking action against the bus company. Stand up to seek justice for these three innocent individuals, who were all so young and full of life.
If you have a blog, please call out to ANYONE who
knows someone who survived or did not survive
the crash to come forward to join the Lee family.
Make a huge difference, make a huge fuss.
For now, you may contact Lee Chung Lern at chunglern@gmail.com or preferably on his handphone at 012-6670368.
What we can also do is boycott Konsortium express buses.
Pay a little bit more for Nice - is your life not worth that extra RM23?
Another solution that might not be the best, drive. Get 3 friends, a car, and at least the fate of your lives are in your own hands. But remember, drive safely.
Or if you can afford it - FLY. AirAsia and Firefly are making air travel a lot more affordable for us. Like I said - is your life not worth that extra money?
Nian Ning was loved by her family and her friends. Don’t let her be just another statistic to add to the current rise of deaths on the road. After all, we quickly forget.
But she was loved. Read Jien Ann’s blog, Pei Wen’s blog, Sookie’s, check out her boyfriend’s photopage or even her other friend’s blogs. Or check out the facebook group her those dearest to her created in her memory.
Stop being so ‘tidak apa’.
Don’t forget - it could have easily been me, or you, or your loved ones.
Rest in Peace, my friend.
~Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. (1 John 3:18)
All words in blue were taken from Xinch's blog.
May Nian Ning and the other 2 victims R.I.P.
XOXO,
Me
Thursday, January 10, 2008
2nd post of the year
I still can't believe it's already 2008!! 2007 just flew by and I couldn't wait for 2007 to end because I felt so left out in a new place and underwent loads of unnecessary stress. Loads have happened in 2007, which when I come to think of them, they were nothing, no big deal. So, this year I'll turn 20 in May! The big 2!! O.o Oh no...time is ticking away, and I'm becoming older and older each year. So, should I change the title of my blog, or what?? Cause in fact I am a teenager at heart. Hmmm...
Anyway, was just thinking...
I was talking to a friend about C, only then I knew how much I've hurt him. I guess it was my fault I rushed into a decision and now I can't turn back time. C and I used to be very close too. Close to the extent that we could talk about some taboo stuff. Come to think of it, he's an extremely accepting guy. So this time when I came back for my summer holidays, I msged him to ask if he's back in Penang. I thought that we could meet up, like what old friends do. Little did I realise that he doesn't wanna be my friend (at least that's what I think based on how he treated me). So, N's friend is C's best friend and so N's friend told N that he was really really hurt. And it suddenly hit me that I never tried to feel how he felt that time. *sigh* Maybe it's a lesson learnt.
...if I'd rather not know what N's friend told N or know it and be a little depressed over it?
=S I'm a confused girl and always will be.
XOXO,
Me
Anyway, was just thinking...
I was talking to a friend about C, only then I knew how much I've hurt him. I guess it was my fault I rushed into a decision and now I can't turn back time. C and I used to be very close too. Close to the extent that we could talk about some taboo stuff. Come to think of it, he's an extremely accepting guy. So this time when I came back for my summer holidays, I msged him to ask if he's back in Penang. I thought that we could meet up, like what old friends do. Little did I realise that he doesn't wanna be my friend (at least that's what I think based on how he treated me). So, N's friend is C's best friend and so N's friend told N that he was really really hurt. And it suddenly hit me that I never tried to feel how he felt that time. *sigh* Maybe it's a lesson learnt.
...if I'd rather not know what N's friend told N or know it and be a little depressed over it?
=S I'm a confused girl and always will be.
XOXO,
Me
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
I've been tagged by Liz
RULES:
1. The tag victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.
I have to list down the 8 qualities of a guy that make him my man. Of course, I have to be more realistic. So here goes...
Prasana
Maree
Shao Thing
Kazu (if he ever reads this, which I doubt)
Esther Tan (which I doubt she'll ever see this)
Ghee Leng
Jennifer
Sze May
XOXO,
Me
1. The tag victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.
I have to list down the 8 qualities of a guy that make him my man. Of course, I have to be more realistic. So here goes...
- A sense of humour - I don't mind if he's lame, as long as he makes me laugh.
Of course too much lameness will make the magic fade away. So...I prefer that he has every kind of humour in moderate XD I quote M, "a guy who has a sense of humour already scores 30% over a hundred". - Not afraid to communicate - Communicate, in the sense that he can share his feelings and thoughts with me and vice versa...so that we can be honest with each other. In other words, there's trust between my man and I, something like the one between my BFF and I =)
- My source of strength - When I fall, he'll be there to give me words of encouragement and inspiration. Or even better, he doesn't have to say anything and I'll know that he believes in me to stand up on my own again (something like what Liz said in her blog). And when I need to be weak once in a while, he'll be there for me to run into his warm embrace. The most important thing of all is that he must always remind us of our faith - Lord our God is our ultimate source of strength.
- Knows how to act at different times - My man has to know when to be mature or immature. I want a guy who can be immature with me when we're having fun but can be mature when he's dealing with serious stuff.
- Complements me - A guy has to complement me. For example, although we have different personalities but we complete and get along well with each other perfectly!! (well, not perfect-perfect, but perfect...u know what I mean)
- Space - Although we spend time doing things together, I hope that my man and I could give each other some space once in a while...for me to hang out with my girl friends and him with his guys.
- Able to romance me - I don't ask for the super romantic, expensive restaurant kind...but the little things he does every day that makes me feel loved. He doesn't have to realise that he's doing it. =)
- Since everyone says looks count, I'll just say that he has to be taller than me (my head must reach at least his shoulder XD), not too bad-looking and is not too skinny/fat.
Prasana
Maree
Shao Thing
Kazu (if he ever reads this, which I doubt)
Esther Tan (which I doubt she'll ever see this)
Ghee Leng
Jennifer
Sze May
XOXO,
Me
Friday, December 21, 2007
It's been too long...
...since I left you here.
My holidays are great...meaning I finally feel the feeling of having a holiday! Been busy hanging out with friends from the past (well, it kinda feels like it) and reliving memories.
During the past 1 year, well, maybe not...9 months being away from home, I guess I realized a great deal of facts about life. As for me, I think I've learnt that if we keep hanging on to the past, we are unable to live out future to the fullest. However, if we remember lessons from the past and apply it in the future, then it would bring us benefits. It may sound easy but one thing I know is that I'm not the kind who can juz forget about the past and move on like that...sometimes I think too much, sometimes I say things without thinking, sometimes I regret not doing the things that I should have. So you see, I do think about the past now and then. Being back home for nearly a month, I've been chasing my past. I wanna make everything right again. So, I finally made it up to a friend whom I've lost contact with for ages since he had his girlfriend. After all, he's leaving for US in January.
Just the other day, I was laughing my signature laughter with my Penang friends at Gurney Plaza and suddenly one of them remarked, "Ee Lin!! I haven't heard your laughter for ages!! I miss it so much...." That exact moment, I felt like I've found my old self!! I can be who I wanna be...I guess I do laugh like that in Adelaide too, but not as freely as I wanted to because my friends would tell me that people are looking. It may be embarrassing, but I miss doing that so much!! So what if people are looking?? I laugh like no one's around...juz in my own world, where everything stands still.
Maybe because in Adelaide, I look out for my manners alot that I don't feel natural. Even the 1st time hanging out with my best friend of 5 years, I felt so weird...I even said excuse me after burping. She said "aiya, it's not your first time la ok?!" and I thought: oh...I've totally forgotten how to act in front of her. *sigh* I feel so torn apart. Malaysia and Adelaide, which is my home?? The me in Malaysia vs. the me in Adelaide, which is the real me??
I guess I'm just too emotional...=)
XOXO,
Me
My holidays are great...meaning I finally feel the feeling of having a holiday! Been busy hanging out with friends from the past (well, it kinda feels like it) and reliving memories.
During the past 1 year, well, maybe not...9 months being away from home, I guess I realized a great deal of facts about life. As for me, I think I've learnt that if we keep hanging on to the past, we are unable to live out future to the fullest. However, if we remember lessons from the past and apply it in the future, then it would bring us benefits. It may sound easy but one thing I know is that I'm not the kind who can juz forget about the past and move on like that...sometimes I think too much, sometimes I say things without thinking, sometimes I regret not doing the things that I should have. So you see, I do think about the past now and then. Being back home for nearly a month, I've been chasing my past. I wanna make everything right again. So, I finally made it up to a friend whom I've lost contact with for ages since he had his girlfriend. After all, he's leaving for US in January.
Just the other day, I was laughing my signature laughter with my Penang friends at Gurney Plaza and suddenly one of them remarked, "Ee Lin!! I haven't heard your laughter for ages!! I miss it so much...." That exact moment, I felt like I've found my old self!! I can be who I wanna be...I guess I do laugh like that in Adelaide too, but not as freely as I wanted to because my friends would tell me that people are looking. It may be embarrassing, but I miss doing that so much!! So what if people are looking?? I laugh like no one's around...juz in my own world, where everything stands still.
Maybe because in Adelaide, I look out for my manners alot that I don't feel natural. Even the 1st time hanging out with my best friend of 5 years, I felt so weird...I even said excuse me after burping. She said "aiya, it's not your first time la ok?!" and I thought: oh...I've totally forgotten how to act in front of her. *sigh* I feel so torn apart. Malaysia and Adelaide, which is my home?? The me in Malaysia vs. the me in Adelaide, which is the real me??
I guess I'm just too emotional...=)
XOXO,
Me
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
What did I do today?
Woke up today and a thought passed through my mind "go for the Popular Bookstore interview and get yourself a job!"
I was so determined to get that job...I mean, getting a job is one of the things I wanna do when I get back to Penang.
So off I went to Gurney Plaza (GP) right after my lunch, walked into Popular with high hopes and I realised that the poster with the recruiting information was gone!! They must've hired someone already...*sigh*
As determined as I was, I walked around GP, hoping to find shops with vacancy notices on the glass door. I did find a few but I was too shy to walk in to ask =S Coward, I know...
In the end, I did walk in 2 stores to ask - 1 is Tower Records which sells CDs and another 1 is Memory Lane which sells cards n souvenirs. Didn't get to be interviewed but the TR guy asked me to come back the next day because their manager wasn't in and the ML lady said she'll call me for an interview.
Right now, I really really hope I get the TR job...haha~ If I get it, it would be my 1st job ever!!!
p/s: more updates on my job interview tomorrow or when I remember XP
XOXO,
Me
I was so determined to get that job...I mean, getting a job is one of the things I wanna do when I get back to Penang.
So off I went to Gurney Plaza (GP) right after my lunch, walked into Popular with high hopes and I realised that the poster with the recruiting information was gone!! They must've hired someone already...*sigh*
As determined as I was, I walked around GP, hoping to find shops with vacancy notices on the glass door. I did find a few but I was too shy to walk in to ask =S Coward, I know...
In the end, I did walk in 2 stores to ask - 1 is Tower Records which sells CDs and another 1 is Memory Lane which sells cards n souvenirs. Didn't get to be interviewed but the TR guy asked me to come back the next day because their manager wasn't in and the ML lady said she'll call me for an interview.
Right now, I really really hope I get the TR job...haha~ If I get it, it would be my 1st job ever!!!
p/s: more updates on my job interview tomorrow or when I remember XP
XOXO,
Me
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Thrilled
Woke up...had my breakfast consisting of half-boiled egg with soy sauce and pepper and homemade bread (yummy!!), checked my e-mail...
There it was, sitting in my inbox!
The name was EM...so I thought it was from EM that I know in Adelaide, but I felt a little weird as why EM would send me e-mails about volunteering in medical camps =S
As I read the e-mail further, I realised it was from EM, my bio lecturer who taught me last year!!
She's a strong woman with aspiration to care for the environment. She loves her job as a botanist and most of all, she's the one who inspired me!
Well, she's also the one who got me into donating my hair to kids who have diseases that cause hair loss. =)
I really can't wait to see her again...never in my life had someone influenced me so positively!!
Time to get ready and go out for lunch!!
Before I go, I realised Penang people are just so simple...I can go out in a T-shirt and shorts...without even worrying about not shaving the hair on my legs! Lalala~ I feel so free!!
XOXO,
Me
There it was, sitting in my inbox!
The name was EM...so I thought it was from EM that I know in Adelaide, but I felt a little weird as why EM would send me e-mails about volunteering in medical camps =S
As I read the e-mail further, I realised it was from EM, my bio lecturer who taught me last year!!
She's a strong woman with aspiration to care for the environment. She loves her job as a botanist and most of all, she's the one who inspired me!
Well, she's also the one who got me into donating my hair to kids who have diseases that cause hair loss. =)
I really can't wait to see her again...never in my life had someone influenced me so positively!!
Time to get ready and go out for lunch!!
Before I go, I realised Penang people are just so simple...I can go out in a T-shirt and shorts...without even worrying about not shaving the hair on my legs! Lalala~ I feel so free!!
XOXO,
Me
Sunday, December 02, 2007
I'm sick and tired...
...of being the only one that is making an effort to keep in touch!!
Why does it always have to be me?!
Well, maybe they don't miss me enough...I don't know.
They say that time and distance make people grow apart, I don't think so...it's up to us to make an effort, really.
Everytime I tell myself that if they don't do their part, then I don't give a damn!
But, no...I think it's just such a waste to throw away a friendship like that...
Instead, I'm the one who got hurt...right...how smart am I?
Enough said, I shall not give a damn!
XOXO,
Me
Why does it always have to be me?!
Well, maybe they don't miss me enough...I don't know.
They say that time and distance make people grow apart, I don't think so...it's up to us to make an effort, really.
Everytime I tell myself that if they don't do their part, then I don't give a damn!
But, no...I think it's just such a waste to throw away a friendship like that...
Instead, I'm the one who got hurt...right...how smart am I?
Enough said, I shall not give a damn!
XOXO,
Me
Friday, November 30, 2007
food for thought
i've been home for 4 days already...instead of feeling relaxed n happy, i feel worried and troubled.
it made me realise how fast time flies...with a blink of an eye, i'll be out working as a psychologist (hopefully) and it would be the time to make a decision on where i wanna settle down - malaysia or adelaide (or any other part of the world)?
i told myself before that i'll juz accept whatever God brings me to...if i get a husband in adelaide n he wants to stay there, so be it. but what if i'm still single by the time i graduate and i dunno where to settle? family or career? i know that maybe, juz maybe i'll earn more n progress more if i work outside malaysia but my family members are all back home...and they won't live forever. would i wanna risk not seeing them and regret later on?
not only that, seeing the dilemma my cousin sister has to go through got me thinking as well. now that she has a baby, she's in a dilemma if she wants to stay at home to look after her baby or go to work and let her parents bring the baby home to be cared for. personally, i would wanna look after my baby myself but on the other hand, my cousin needs to work as well as they wouldn't be able to afford raising the baby.
i know this sounds crazy...i only finished 1st year of uni and i'm thinking about this. i used to say "i'll graduate first and then i'll see how it goes" but time flies way too fast...before i know it, i'll be graduating and i'll be realising that i haven't planned much. mayb it'd be way easier if i never get married, but what IF i do? will i give up the opportunity to work just to stay at home n take care of my child? for a person as sentimental as myself, i wanna witness every progress my child makes...reading www.karencheng.com.au has opened my eyes to the fact that we should find ways to open doors for ourselves. although karencheng is a stay-at-home-mom, she seems to have fun and leads her life to the fullest. as she's interested in art, she finds ways to improve herself in this industry without feeling that her kids pose as a burden to her.
some people think that kids are a burden to them but the fact is it's the parents' fault that they did not plan carefully before deciding to have kids! *sigh* i dunno...i know i sound like a crazy woman...shall stop right here before people think i'm off in the head.
ok ok, i'd better stop right here before i go on n on n on about my worries about the future.
XOXO,
Me
it made me realise how fast time flies...with a blink of an eye, i'll be out working as a psychologist (hopefully) and it would be the time to make a decision on where i wanna settle down - malaysia or adelaide (or any other part of the world)?
i told myself before that i'll juz accept whatever God brings me to...if i get a husband in adelaide n he wants to stay there, so be it. but what if i'm still single by the time i graduate and i dunno where to settle? family or career? i know that maybe, juz maybe i'll earn more n progress more if i work outside malaysia but my family members are all back home...and they won't live forever. would i wanna risk not seeing them and regret later on?
not only that, seeing the dilemma my cousin sister has to go through got me thinking as well. now that she has a baby, she's in a dilemma if she wants to stay at home to look after her baby or go to work and let her parents bring the baby home to be cared for. personally, i would wanna look after my baby myself but on the other hand, my cousin needs to work as well as they wouldn't be able to afford raising the baby.
i know this sounds crazy...i only finished 1st year of uni and i'm thinking about this. i used to say "i'll graduate first and then i'll see how it goes" but time flies way too fast...before i know it, i'll be graduating and i'll be realising that i haven't planned much. mayb it'd be way easier if i never get married, but what IF i do? will i give up the opportunity to work just to stay at home n take care of my child? for a person as sentimental as myself, i wanna witness every progress my child makes...reading www.karencheng.com.au has opened my eyes to the fact that we should find ways to open doors for ourselves. although karencheng is a stay-at-home-mom, she seems to have fun and leads her life to the fullest. as she's interested in art, she finds ways to improve herself in this industry without feeling that her kids pose as a burden to her.
some people think that kids are a burden to them but the fact is it's the parents' fault that they did not plan carefully before deciding to have kids! *sigh* i dunno...i know i sound like a crazy woman...shall stop right here before people think i'm off in the head.
ok ok, i'd better stop right here before i go on n on n on about my worries about the future.
XOXO,
Me
Friday, November 23, 2007
Psyched!!
Exams are officially over yesterday...and I thank God that He's always with me during the good times and the bad.
Without Him, I would've just given up...
So, what did I do after my exams?
M2 and I went to get bubble tea straightaway! WOOHOO~
Then we met up with E and L for lunch...was a little full on the pearls in the bubble tea, so ended up eating an original spud with butter, cheese and sour cream!
Came back...I had my nap until 7 something (or was it 8?) Had my "dinner" at 9+ pm...so not me.
Anyway, we watched Silence of the Lambs, which is a psychological thriller, and The Ring (japanese version)...Went to bed at 4am =S
Can't believe, on the day I finish my exams, my lifestyle became so unhealthy...oh, not forgetting the part where E and I went down to make something to eat...eating at ungodly hours!!
Gotta pack my things today...hopefully I won't get a headache.
p/s: I'm currently in love with Shayne Ward...<3 *melts in a puddle* XP
Without Him, I would've just given up...
So, what did I do after my exams?
M2 and I went to get bubble tea straightaway! WOOHOO~
Then we met up with E and L for lunch...was a little full on the pearls in the bubble tea, so ended up eating an original spud with butter, cheese and sour cream!
Came back...I had my nap until 7 something (or was it 8?) Had my "dinner" at 9+ pm...so not me.
Anyway, we watched Silence of the Lambs, which is a psychological thriller, and The Ring (japanese version)...Went to bed at 4am =S
Can't believe, on the day I finish my exams, my lifestyle became so unhealthy...oh, not forgetting the part where E and I went down to make something to eat...eating at ungodly hours!!
Gotta pack my things today...hopefully I won't get a headache.
p/s: I'm currently in love with Shayne Ward...<3 *melts in a puddle* XP
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Counting down the days...
...till I see your face once again.
By now, J has already arrived in Pg, back to her cozy and comfy home and loving parents.
I'm stuck here, with one last paper to sit for the day after tomorrow but it seems so faraway...
Supposed to be studying about the female reproductive system, hormones and the skin, instead, I'm here blogging!!
Seriously, I feel a bit scared to go home, not knowing if it'd feel the same way before...having spent most of my days here in Australia.
What if there's a gap between us?
Oh well, talking about going home, I still don't have a clue where my plane ticket is!!!!!!!
*panicking* I have this piece of paper with my flight details printed on it...but is that the ticket?? J says I have to print an electronic ticket from the internet...but how?! =S
Laugh at me all you want, this is gonna be my first time flying on my own...I'm so excited seriously!! XD
Can't believe my 1st year of uni has come and gone, just like that...with a blink of an eye!
I feel old...It's alright, according to psychology research, people are only old when they feel old. So, I'm gonna remain young at heart!!!! So what if P thinks I'm childish?! I don't give a damn...lalala~
OK, gotta get my ass to studying...hormones...I even dreamt of hormones =.= *sigh* Study, sit for exams, enjoy and fly home! That's my ultimate goal...
p/s: Reminds me of a song called "That's my goal" by Shayne Ward, winner of X-Factor...super romantic!!! <3
Shayne Ward - That's My Goal
You know where I come from
You know my story
You know why I'm standing here...
Tonight
Please don't go
Don't be in a hurry
I'm here to make it clear
Make it right
Well I know I've acted foolish
But I promise you no more
I've finally found that something
Worth reaching for
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal
Please don't go
You know that I need you
I can't breathe without you
Live without you
Be without you
Well I know I've acted foolish
But I promise you no more
No more...
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal
Well I won't stop believing
That we will be living together
So when I say I love you
I mean it forever and ever
ever and ever....
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
Yes I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal....
XOXO,
Me
By now, J has already arrived in Pg, back to her cozy and comfy home and loving parents.
I'm stuck here, with one last paper to sit for the day after tomorrow but it seems so faraway...
Supposed to be studying about the female reproductive system, hormones and the skin, instead, I'm here blogging!!
Seriously, I feel a bit scared to go home, not knowing if it'd feel the same way before...having spent most of my days here in Australia.
What if there's a gap between us?
Oh well, talking about going home, I still don't have a clue where my plane ticket is!!!!!!!
*panicking* I have this piece of paper with my flight details printed on it...but is that the ticket?? J says I have to print an electronic ticket from the internet...but how?! =S
Laugh at me all you want, this is gonna be my first time flying on my own...I'm so excited seriously!! XD
Can't believe my 1st year of uni has come and gone, just like that...with a blink of an eye!
I feel old...It's alright, according to psychology research, people are only old when they feel old. So, I'm gonna remain young at heart!!!! So what if P thinks I'm childish?! I don't give a damn...lalala~
OK, gotta get my ass to studying...hormones...I even dreamt of hormones =.= *sigh* Study, sit for exams, enjoy and fly home! That's my ultimate goal...
p/s: Reminds me of a song called "That's my goal" by Shayne Ward, winner of X-Factor...super romantic!!! <3
Shayne Ward - That's My Goal
You know where I come from
You know my story
You know why I'm standing here...
Tonight
Please don't go
Don't be in a hurry
I'm here to make it clear
Make it right
Well I know I've acted foolish
But I promise you no more
I've finally found that something
Worth reaching for
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal
Please don't go
You know that I need you
I can't breathe without you
Live without you
Be without you
Well I know I've acted foolish
But I promise you no more
No more...
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal
Well I won't stop believing
That we will be living together
So when I say I love you
I mean it forever and ever
ever and ever....
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
Yes I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal....
XOXO,
Me
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