confirmed...

it's PMS =D

hehehe...anyway, since college started, i feel like i've changed...

i'm more focused in class now...haha...

i haven't been talking much this whole week...

i have been craving for all sorts of yummy food lately! =P

oh, one thing...i've learnt not to procrastinate...i really hope this lasts...=)

i change my mind

haha...i change my mind about this week...

this week is totally shitty!!

so much work is due next week, on the same day some more!! =S

let's see, what do i have to do?

chem lab report, chem social relevance report, annotated bibliography, maths, esl preliminary outline and study bio!

p/s: i think i'm having PMS, i don't laugh much these days and i'm always hungry AND i don't feel like talking/chatting...=)

not shitty

haha...i used to dread mondays...cause shitty things happen on mondays...eg. tests, homework, depressed etc. all on mondays!

yesterday (monday), i was dreading to go to college, because i know shitty things would definitely happen....yesterday, there was supposed to be a chem test and lab practical...luckily everything turned out ok...wasn't great, but ok, at least not shitty....but i kinda got irritated by my chem lecturer who actually scolded us 'idiots' at the top of his lungs! i lost count of how many glassware were broken on that day in the lab =S

then the test was postponed to a day later (today) because my chem lecturer had to 'explain' to us how to do the chem lab report...noticed these - ' ' ?? i still have no idea how to do my chem lab report...oh! the test...i'm not even sure if i can pass >.< for the 1st question, i got only one sub-question correct...sheesh...and i left 12 marks blank because i have NO IDEA what to write...i admit it, i didn't really study that subtopic...=P

i hope this whole week is non-shitty....=D

end of break

*sigh* 1 week has come and gone...tomorrow morning i'll have to wake up early for college...

although i admit i didn't do REALLY productuve things, but i think i didn't waste my break, because i actually made full use of my break to spend time (and laughing) with my friends, catch up with sleep, do maths AND study for chem test....which is tomorrow...

however, this week didn't juz fly by...and i'm glad...oh! i forgot one thing...i finished watching a korean drama series with my mom...18-year-old bride! it was entertaining, hilarious AND most importantly, ROMANTIC!!! hehe...i'm so gonna watch it again after my final exam =P did i mention that the main actor is sooooo entau?! *sigh* i think i juz melted =D

i haven't been treating myself well enough lately...sleeping after midnight, not eating according to normal time etc. but fortunately a few days ago, i've been sleeping before 12am =) and usually during holidays i'll drink lesser water because i don't sweat much...now i drink water every one hour...haha...even my urine is clear! HAHAHAHAHA....grossed out yet?

anyway, my aunt's been commenting on my complexion...she says i look 'green'...which isn't a good thing at ALL...so...i've decided to : drink more water, eat more fruits and have sufficient sleep! i hope i can do it what college starts again...

this entry is so pointless...

yesterday i had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine, J.
she misread my personal msg (I wanna drift away with u...).
she thought i wrote "I wanna drift away from u..."
she sent me a msg - "how?"
i answered her - "huh?"
she said - "i want too"
well, i didn't know she misread it, so i told her - "haha...sorry, u're not the right person for me to drift away with"

it seems that she hasn't gotten over her bf....and it took me by surprise 'cause i thought she has finally moved on...she said she feels empty without her bf (or ex??)
wow...i never felt empty without anyone...even i don't feel empty without A =))

this was how our conversation went (E's me):
J : let me ask u a question
E : yeah?
J : do u ever wish u had a bf?
E : err...haha...no
J : do u feel jealous seeing ur friends with bfs?
E : no...
J : wow...
E : i believe i'll find mine someday
J : r u not curious how it feels like having one?
E : nah...no point rushing into a relationship, unless u really really love that guy and u guys are compatible
J : such a positive attitide!
E : i believe u can too...
J : how do u do that?
E : be content with what u have
J : be content...it's hard la...

i think i bored my 'readers' to death (if i even have) with this boring entry...

oh well, before i sign off...juz wanna tell everyone out there...never feel empty...cause God fills us to the brim with His Great Love...知足常乐，懂得感恩...常常喜乐!

should have slept

hmmm...i should have continued sleeping this morning...my friends asked me to go to the library today to discuss some chem assignments stuff...and it turned out the library wasn't open...

sheesh...i'm yawning as i'm typing this entry...

anyway, i lost the enthusiasm to type adee...hehe...

so sleepy!! wanna go have a nap adee...

Death

What is death?

Does it mean that that someone is forever gone?

Or because of death, that someone forever lives?

*SIGH*

I woke up today feeling quite happy, when my friend msged me on msn, telling me that Kai Loon had died in a road accident this morning...at 3am...

Kai Loon was very close to my friend. She got to know him at Air Itam Methodist Church...and I got to know him during a church camp in 2001...I wasn't really close to him...but it is too overwhelming to know the person u know can actually leave his family and friends behind...

I was shocked...no tears, no nothing...my friend on the other end of msn was still crying...she told me she couldn't concentrate on her lectures the whole morning...and i totally understand...I told her everything happens for a reason, although i'm not quite certain what the reason is...I told her he'll be better off staying at the Lord's side...

I know that God has a bigger plan for us...we must put our trust in Him...

May Kai Loon rest in peace...I'm sure he'll be dearly missed by family and friends...especially his younger bro, Kai Tit...

achievement? =P

for the past few days...i've been getting up late...after 11am!

well, it may not be something unusual for some ppl out there...but it's sooo not me!!

i never wake up after 11am! and yesterday i woke up at 12pm to realise i've got a 'date' with my friends at 1:30pm! haha...i ended up reaching there late...nearly 2pm...nvm la..they can wait =D

today i woke up before 10am!! yahoo!! and i SWEAR i'm gonna sleep before 12am tonight...have to take care d...hehe...and besides, having enough sleep keeps ur skin radiant and healthy!=)

whoa! i juz looked at my comp clock, it's only 11:11am! so early...hehe...after posting this, i'll go bathe and do something productive!! i'll blog again tomorrow...to tell 'u guys' if i did anything productive today...

no more going out today! ahhh....home sweet home...

oh! before i go...i wanna share the lyrics of my favourite song with everyone!

Imperfect Girl

I don't have a perfect smile
maybe I'm just too shy
I'm not a beauty queen
on covers of magazines
that's something you can't deny
I got my own style

So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets

I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

I wouldn't be classed as cool
I have to bend the rules
Maybe I don't fit in
I didn't always win
that's something you can't deny
I'm happy with my own style

So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

It's all just make-believe
The standards that we hear
It doesn't have to be
A perfect world, a perfect world

I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect, imperfect girl

p/s: this song is so me! haha...but if u think i have low self-esteem...u're wrong! *winks*

Ice Age 2 rocks!!

OMG!! it was damn hilarious!!!

i love it sooo much!

i laughed so much today watching that movie!! =D

p/s: laughter is the best medicine...

crazy =D

AH!! haha...i had a fantastic time yesterday with my girl friends...

I was supposed to meet Eva at McD's at 1:30pm but she called me earlier to tell me that she would b later, so haha...i went a lil later lo =P when i was in my mom's car on the way to Gurney Plaza GP), i saw Peace's friend, Arveen crossing the road to his car....wearing his beach wear as usual! HAH! And later my other friend Prasana told us he has fever! lol...he certainly didn't look like he had a fever to us...

Anyway, I met up with Eva at Coffee Bean and we walked to McD's together to have lunch. As we were about to take our order, a guy went "a large coke pls". Wah! My friend and I turned around to stare at that whoever it was...eh?! It was Sudeep and Aman (Peace) who we got to know at the Cancer Relay for Life thingy...i was kinda happy to see Aman though...he's like forever so soft spoken and nice...as for Sudeep? HMPH!

Prasana told me that she could make it for our outing but then yesterday morning she sent me an sms saying she couldn't make it d because she has a whole list of chores to do...=( so sad la...then when i was on the way to GP, she called and asked me what time were gonna meet up! YAY!

At McD's, i had loads of fun laughing, laughing and laughing!! My goodness, the whole restaurant was filled with our laughter!! =D It felt real good...laughing like nobody's looking...oh yeah, Sudeep and Aman AND another girl, Moga (who's also studying in the same college as I am) were sitting at a corner...luckily there were dustbins to cover their faces! LOL...then halfway through our lunch, Prasana came!! yippy!!

I'm getting impatient here...hehe...usually i don't relate stories from the beginning till the end...so i'll skip a few 'scenes' =P

We watched 'reincarnation' which is a jap horror movie...hehe...instead of being scared, my friends and I were laughing the whole entire time! The guys at the back row thought they could scare us by touching us...not exactly touch la...like there's this one time before the movie even began, i felt someone touching my hair but i juz combed my hair with my fingers anyway...haha...then my friend leaned forward and said to us "hey, if u feel anyone touching u, don't be scared ok? it's juz the guys behind us" HAH! very funny...didn't scare me at ALL...instead there was this guy 2 seats away from me...he was sooo afraid, when the sound effects changed, he would cover his face with his hands...and say "SHIT!" HAHAHAHAHA so funny!!

The second movie we watched that day was When a Stranger Calls...it wasn't THAT scary...but it kept everyone in the cinema in suspense...my friends and i actually joked around when we were watching that movie...cause there was one scene when the girl called 911 to report that there's a guy calling her...bla bla bla...then the guy on the other end of the phone...his voice was soooooo ermmm....attractive? =S dunno...i commented to them that he's so cute! haha...and they were like "what?! u're hitting on a guy whom u don't even know how he looks like?!" =)) i liked his voice alot though...*sigh*

*FAST FORWARD*

The 3 of us went to Domino's to have our dinner...we shared on half-and-half regular pizza..yummy! 1 side aloha chicken, 1 side chicken pepperoni...hmmmm!

*FAST FORWARD*

hehe...really losing my patience =P
I HAD A GREAT TIME LAUGHING AND FOOLING AROUND AND NOT CARE ABOUT PPL STARING AT ME!!! WOOHOO!! HEHE....I BET LOADS OF PPL THOUGHT I'M CRAZY....

made up my mind

i've made up my mind NOT to go for sleepover at my friend's place....

juz don't feel like it...ARGH! i suspect my aunt's visiting anytime again....

hmmm....and yes, i must do productive things this break! i swear!

at least have to study for the chem test after break!!!

i'm weird

i think something's totally wrong with me...

last week, my friends and i were talking about having a sleepover at one of my friend's place...and i was kinda looking forward to it...but today when i got the sms's from my other 2 friends about the sleepover, i suddenly don't feel like going anymore...

long before my break, i was planning to do some productive stuff this break so that i won't regret after the break....*sigh*

yeah, i guess i've made up my mind not to go...

p/s: everything i do depends on my mood...when i'm excited over something now, i may not be tomorrow...=S

bad and good news!! =D

ok, today i went shopping with my parents at pranging mall....for pants!! =D i realised i've been buying skirts this year...and i guess skirts are not that suitable for me...hehe...

bad news
my butt and thighs are getting bigger! i know u'd be going "don't be silly! u're so thin!" i know i AM thin but my butt and thighs are as huge as a tree trunk! i used to wear size S jeans...now...*gasps* lol...M! even M is tight!! so u know what? i can't wear boot cut jeans no more...i'm going for straight cut...

good news
straight cut jeans suit me perfectly!! =D and i'm soooo in love with those 2 pair of jeans (not jeans...pants) that i bought this afternoon!! i love the fabric and colour! =) i was gonna give up on shopping for pants...but phew! luckily i found those 2...for this whole year, i swear to myself not to buy anymore clothes...

since we're on this shopping topic, haha...honestly i hate shopping...i only shop when i need to...because i hate trying out clothes...so troublesome...
yay! now i don't have to go shopping anymore...=)) YIPPY!!

sigh of relief...=)

this photo was taken last december outside sentosa island

i don't know y...i suddenly feel so relieved!!!!
no more that heavy weight on my chest....i can finally breathe! *INHALES*
haha...since i'm in such a good mood...i'll post a pic of me today =P

p/s: to the 2 ST's, u guys are soooo lucky...have ur own private room some more!!! and i see u guys are doing fine so far...i'm happy for u...

random stuff...

You Are A Professional Girlfriend!

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

You are Ready to Date Again

If you're not out there already, you should be. Your ex is long gone from your heart, and you are ready for another relationship. Any guy you meet gets a clean slate - and no emotional baggage. Congratulations, you've gotten completely over him. Now, on to a better guy :-) It's time for you to start dating! Post your photo and profile on a bunch of personals sites. Before long, you won't have any more lonely Saturday nights.

Are You Ready To Date Again?

wait, i don't even have an ex! LOL....this is hilarious

You Are A Relationship Doormat!

Surprise, you ruin relationships. Bet you didn't see that one coming :-) While you're a nice, understanding, and caring girlfriend - you don't put your needs first. And deep down, it's probably because you worry about getting dumped. So speak up for yourself, weed out the losers sooner, and you'll find a guy that *deserves* you.

Do You Ruin Relationships?

...

我要你知道
在这个世界上永远会有一个人在等著你
无论是在什么时候
无论你在什么地方
反正总会有这样的一个人
~ 表妹吉祥

i don't even know who i dedicate the above to...because i'm so confused...so now i swear to myself that i'll not think of 'these' kinda things anymore...i SWEAR!!!

from now on...i'll only blog about my life...and nothing else...my life is too short, i don't wanna waste my life thinking and being confused over such matters...after all, i'm already 18...although i'm not prepared to grow up yet...i have to! next year's gonna b my turn to go into university already...wow...time flies...haha...in a blink of an eye...i'll be a married woman with 2 kids! LOL...
now i'm cracking myself up! =D

haha...sometimes before i fall asleep on my bed, i'll imagine myself in 10 years' time...how i'll look like or how my future husband look like, how many kids i'll have, what kinda job i'll b doing etc...sometimes i even imagine myself in a bikini on a sunny beach overseas! lol...so funny...last year in high school, my friend and i planned to go to Gurney Plaza to try out some bikinis...haha...cause we were so curious how we look like in bikinis...but we haven't done that yet...we haven't seen each other for months already! hope that someday we'll get to do that...and laugh our heads off! i remember in form 4, our young eng teacher came over to talk to us...and she went 'u girls are still young, if u get the chance...try on some bikinis...i remember when i went honeymoon with my husband, i wore bikini...now i think cannot adee...everything start to sag...' we were sooooo dumbfounded!! that was y we decided to do juz that in form 5 =) i know my parents will freak out if they ever find out...i guess most of my friends will freak out too...now that's the fun part! doing something that will make everyone go O.O =D

wait a min, i thought i was feeling down? haha...halfway through this post...it became a happy one...so typical of me...

i'm trying to get all the thoughts that have been stuck in my head for quite sometime out...so that i won't feel so burdened...sometimes i juz wish i had gone back to study form 6...because i hate studying in a co-ed school...i hate it loads! guys are sooo...ARGH...they're immature and wu-liao not even funny! and do u know how it feels when everyone teases u with a guy u do not like (not that i jie yi)? they always end up liking my pretty friend, which makes me look so stupid if anyone ever finds out...

oh my god...i'm so emotionally unstable now...something's bothering me...but i can't type it out here...i guess i can't tell anyone about it...*SOB* ='(

listening to Jay Chou's qing tian...

shitty week

my week has been shitty as i have said before...but it hasn't gotten any better...now i feel so uncomfortable with my friends...the only thing they talk about is their bf's and relationships as i have said it before in one of my previous posts...

today....
we went to kfc at 1-stop to have lunch...we had girl talk as usual...about u-know-already...usually i quite enjoy having girl talk with my girl friends...but today, i juz feel lost...and out of place...it's like they don't even give me a chance to voice up my opinions...maybe...i said juz maybe, cause i never had one....and never was in a relationship...so?? oh well...ok, then after college we went for a movie with the title Below Eight...about dogs la...aiyah...me the emotional one didn't cry even a tear...whereas my 3 friends who always call me sentimental...cried like hell...ok la...not like hell...but the other 2 nearly used up all the tissue papers...clearly, there's something wrong with me!

another thing that makes me feel out of place is...i'm not as girlie as they are...they're like those popular girls in college whereas i'm not (not that i care really) but i really HATE guys who see only pretty faces! and sometimes i feel insulted when guy(s) praise me when i look good because it's juz the clothings i wear they praise!! IF i ever get a bf...it's the ugly side of me he should fall for...and not the pretty side (if i ever have that side)...BTW, i've decided to go back to becoming the old me...that is a girl who's not afraid of anything and who wears pants ALOT! =P since i have quite a number of skirts...i'll take turns wearing them la...i wanna buy more pants!!

let me digress from my shitty week a lil...
i think pretty girls do have alot of benefits...like they can get their way ALL the time...and it doesn't even matter if they act like a 'dumb blonde' because ppl will still simply love them to bits! *eyes rolling* (yes i'm talking about my friend...but she's not that dumb la..although she acts like a dumb blonde sometimes) oh! and even if a pretty girl is already taken, the guys will juz try to pursue her anyway...and today i got the shock of my life, y? because we were trying to 'abandon' (in case u're too blind to notice the inverted commas, it was a minor joke) one of our friends (yes, she's pretty) during lunch and this guy who is kinda famous for not being gentleman stood up for her! WOW....*sarcastically* sheesh!! GUYS are soooooo SUPERFICIAL la...

speaking about guys! i HATE this guy in my class la...he's sooooo damn RUDE ok?! can't he speak in a nice tone...or AT LEAST act nice a lil? i noticed when he talks to my pretty friends he's not THAT rude...ARGH...i'll describe today's incident briefly...lazy to elaborate

ok, usually my 3 friends and i would sit in a row of 4...but because today our was class was slightly smaller, there were seats in 3's available only...so i decided to let my 3 friends sit together and i sit next to that rude guy...ALVIN...i do hope he sees this! he was sitting on the most left seat and the seat next to him had bread crumbs (or was it something else...anyway, it's dirt la) i 'transferred' the bread wrapper to that dirty seat, and he threw it back!! and with a loud voice (loud enough for the whole class to hear him) he 'said' to me : OI! THROW IT IN THE DUSTBIN LA, Y THROW HERE?!' ARGGHHHH i juz wanted to dig his eyes out with my pen i tell u!! was so pissed i used a slightly louder voice telling him that that chair is already dirty anyway!! after all, i did plan to throw it into the dustbin later...SHEESH! and u know what!? he actually has a gf! BAH! what is this world becoming to?! i am SO SURE that they won't last long! i know, i sound very bitchy right?! this is gonna be my first and last bitchy post! cause bitchy is sooo not me! *SIGH*

i know this post is getting longer and longer...because i've been keeping it all inside of me...so today, i'm gonna let it all out...

shit! i've forgotten what i was about to type...sheesh! will type it when i think of it...but if my mood turns better d i'd probably juz not type it out la...i'll type a happy post then!

p/s: i actually feel alot better now after chatting with a guy friend of mine...what the heck...i typed so long adee...juz read la! haha...

how are u doing?

hello...this post is for the 2 ST's who left for japan yesterday night....

how are u guys doing? is everything going well? r u guys missing home already??

*sigh* do blog sometimes...so that i know what u (guys) are up to....i'm so emotional now...y leh?

dunno..maybe this week was juz plain shitty...everything went wrong....

=)

=S

y oh y...do i feel so down?
feels like i'm gonna drown...

wow...that rhymed! anyway, y do i feel so shitty?
dunno...could it be the chemistry practical on monday? i kinda made my lab partner become impatient with me...=(
or could it be i FEEL like i'm the only one being left behind in penang?
or could it be my friends and i juz don't really get along emotionally...like 'our' usual topic will be about their bf's and relationship stuff...
or could it be the joke Peace's friend played on me...that makes me THINK he's TRYING to MAKE me THINK he likes me...somehow i feel guys can hardly be trusted...like i FEEL that everything they do is juz a dare between them and their friends....well, it's not as serious as it sounds...cause he actually makes me laugh...and the main thing is i do NOT like him at ALL...so it's cool...it juz makes me wonder...that's all...
or could it be the assignments and lab reports that are thrown my way...
or could it be my life is not properly organised...
answers!! i need an answer!! ='(
or could it be hormones? =D
i doubt it has got to do with weather cause i simply do not care about weathers! UNLESS it's too HOT! =P

i dedicate this to u (guys)...

i guess it's juz the beginning after all...good luck guys!!

Yolanda Adams - I Believe

They said you wouldn't make it so far uh uh
And ever since they said it, it's been hard
But nevermind the nights you had to cry
'Cause you have never let it go inside
You worked real hard
And you know exactly what you want and need
So believe and you can never give up
You can reach your goals
Just talk to your soul and say…

(Chorus:)
I believe I can (I can)
I believe I will (I will)
I believe I know my dreams are real (know my dreams are real)
I believe I'll chant (Oh yea) I believe I'll dance
I believe I'll grow real soon and (That's why)
That is what I do believe

Your goals are just dancing in your soul uh uh
And you know that your moves will let them show
You keep creating pictures in your mind
So just believe they will come true in time
It will be fine
Leave all of your cares and stress behind
Just let it go
Let the music flow inside
Forget all your pain
And just start to believe

(Chorus:)
I believe I can (I believe I can oh yea)
I believe I will
I believe I know my dreams are real (All of my dreams are real)
I believe I'll chant
I believe I'll dance (I gotta dance)
I believe I'll grow real soon and (ooo)
That is what I do believe

Whoa oa oa YEA…
(Music break)

Nevermind what people say
Hold your head high and turn away
With all my hopes and dreams
I will believe
Even though it seems it's not for me
I won't give up
I'll keep it up
Look into the sky
I will achieve all my needs
I will always believe….OoOo

(Chorus 2x)
I believe I can I believe I will (I can)
I believe I know my dreams are real (I got strength)
I believe I'll chant I believe I'll dance (I gotta dance)
I believe I'll grow real soon and (watch me watch me watch me)
That is what I do believe (I do believe in me)
I believe I can I believe I will (oh yea)
I believe I know my dreams are real
I believe I'll chant I believe I'll dance (I gotta dance)
I believe I'll grow real soon and
That is what I do believe (I do believe! yayeeyay)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i know the lyrics are kinda exaggerated...but it's a very inspiring song! so this goes out to the 2 ST's who are leaving penang tomorrow evening....good luck guys!