Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Who am I to you?

Obviously you don't treat me as a friend like you said you do. Friends tell friends stuff...even though you might think that it's unnecessary. But...finding out stuff from another friend is like a slap in the face. Even though so many times I've asked you about how you feel, you always laugh & say "There's nothing wrong" or "Why do you keep asking me this?" I guess I knew you too well, I know that deep inside you have something against me. You make peace with me because you're forced to by your friends. I have known all along that you do not want to have anything to do with me. I should've trusted my instincts & avoided you but part of me thinks that I think too much.

So I was having my lunch - Tuna sandwich with cheese + avocado - & I decided to catch up with a friend on Skype. As usual, I wanted to know what's happening back in Penang & with our mutual friends. Well, I was right all along...he's finally attached.

When I found out myself weeks ago, I was at my uni computer pool. Though the attachment hasn't been confirmed, I walked to my lecture room, trying to hold back the tears. I knew that it was really THE time to move on. The pieces to a puzzle have already arranged in place. No matter how you rearrange, the pieces wouldn't fit as perfectly. It took almost a week for me to slowly accept that fact. When I finally recovered from the heartache, I scolded myself for acting the way I did. It was all because of my selfishness.

Today, my reaction was totally different from when I first found out. I didn't feel anything. I just felt a little angry because when I talked to him a few weeks ago, I asked him if there's anything he wanted to tell me but he said no, which was kind of expected. I don't know what to say anymore. All I can do is to congratulate u on ur attachment & I hope that when my time comes, you'll do the same for me.