It's over

Phew~ my presentation for Rhetoric and Reasoning is over!!

I think I did really really bad. I was soooo nervous I kept looking at the ceiling and my voice was super shaky...I even started to shake my leg!! >.< This is really bad....Got so depressed I went out for dinner with my friends.

But....

after this dinner, I'm not gonna touch pasta ever again...at least not for now =S Feel like puking...the pasta was too filling and too salty...*gags*

Finishing the novel I borrowed from the state library beginning of holidays. It's about this shopaholic who is married and when she came back from her 10-month honeymoon, she found out that she has a half-sister. The title is Shopaholic and Sister. So...yeah. While reading it, her best friend was mentioned and when she came back from her honeymoon, she discovered that her best friend has already found a new best friend...not exactly, but her best friend is not as close to her as before already. As I read that, I started to think about my own friends. What if we all have different best friends already? What if I go home and we're not able to talk like before already? What if we don't click anymore?

I'm a wreck now...seriously. I'm dying to go back home but at the same time worried that I'm not able to fit into the place where I was born and grew up. =S

I'm scared that our promises to "be friends till we grow old", "be best friends no matter what" or "be friends till our kids get married to each other" will mean nothing anymore. I know I sound like I'm crazy, but since high school, I've always thought of having all my close friends to attend my wedding ceremony. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~

Sometimes I sit and think, how amazing it is that everyone has at least 1 friend that can relate to. No matter how bad a person is, I'm sure he/she will have at least 1 close friend. Without friends, I don't think we can all survive in this world. We were made to live in a community. In standard 4, I was a super bitchy person. Come to think of it, I'm quite ashamed of what I did. The past is the past...it's time to look forward. It's time for a confession...

I used to look down on this girl in standard 4, I didn't like her and I always excluded her from our conversations and I'd make fun of her. I was really really bad. I had a really bad temper then too!! I do have my tempers but it's wayyy better than the last time. Imagine I was that bad already, but I had a best friend who was the total opposite from me. She was quiet, has a good temper and was and still is very forgiving. Not sure if I was lucky or it was a blessing from God, she stood by me through primary school years until high school. We hung out together lesser after form 2 cause we were in different classes and the company we had was different.

Anyway, I guess she influenced me in a way. Through the years, I controlled my temper and I think I changed drastically!! In form 4 I think, she asked me out one day. We were reminiscing about old times and she said I've changed alot!! She said I've changed to become a better person...some one who is not so bad tempered. I was actually encouraged by that. I guess I'm really blessed with good friends. Many of my friends have said things that really encouraged me. Hmmm~ I have a really good idea!! Shall buy a pretty book and write down the stuff my friends have said to me that is encouraging...that way I'll not forget when I grow old XP

It's true what all my high school teachers have said. They said that the friendship we have in high school is the purest, most sincere and real. Now that I'm staying in a hostel, there'll be occasional back-stabbing and gossiping. It's quite scary at times but I think this is what you call "the world". True friends in high school tell you stuff straight in the face. We may feel offended or angry but the most we'd do is not talk to each other for maybe a day or two and we're friends once again, knowing that you're able to be honest with each other.

Another thing that has been bothering me for a while is appearance. I have no problem with my appearance whatsoever. In fact, I don't feel that I need to change anything until I came here. People keep making remarks about my appearance. They say I should wax my legs, pluck my eyebrows, dress up, pluck the hair above my lips (they call it my mustache) and wear contact lenses. Seriously for my whole 19 years of life, I never thought of changing how I look. Grew up with my cousins who don't really dress up or care about their appearance. Not that they're sloppy or whatever though. They just do stuff like plucking eyebrows or waxing hairs off legs stuff like that. My family and relatives made me feel like I'm the most beautiful thing even without doing the stuff other teenage girls do.

I still don't get it though, why wax our legs? =S It's just hair. Everyone has it. Who came up with the idea that smooth legs are nice? Do people last time do that as well? We are all born with hair on our legs. If you're talking about armpit hair then I understand cause it looks hideous with sleeveless tops and the hair doesn't capture heat when we're cold. Waxing our legs is just so troublesome, you have to was it everytime the hair grows back =.= Just like eyebrows. Why pluck it when you know you have to do that for the rest of your lives? I'd just pluck it for occasions, such as my wedding? LOL or for special functions? Being a girl is so hard. People come up with this image of how a girl should look because of advertisements and stuff. *sigh* And dressing up...dressing up is also so troublesome. I see my friends (sorry if you're one of them) standing in front of the cupboard, thinking of what to wear...omg...I can never do that!! I'd just rather be simple and the most important of all is I have to feel comfortable in what I wear!! That's my main motto on clothes, man!! I wouldn't wanna wear heels and feel uncomfortable walking. Worse, if I have to run after the bus, I wouldn't wanna run in heels!! No way!! I'd just rather kill myself.

I see some people wearing skimpy outfits in a cold weather and I think "why do girls torture themselves like that?" That's the price for looking nice? Freeze yourself? I can never do that. Salute to the girls out there. Sometimes I see girls wearing super high heels out shopping and I'm thankful I'm wearing sports shoes. They're the most comfortable shoes anyone can own. =P Sometimes I think if God made a mistake in my gender cause I'm so anti-girlish. But then again, God never makes mistakes, so I guess I'm just "unique". Don't misunderstand though, I'm not criticizing the girls out there, I'm just stating our differences and voicing out my thoughts. =)

Oops~ Enough of digressing.

XOXO,
Me