Saturday, September 29, 2007

Left out...

Decided to call my parents and talk to them before uni starts once again. After the phone rang for 2 minutes, I reached the voicemail. No one was home. I guess they went out to run errands again.

So I thought, why don't I call to Singapore where my aunts and cousins are at? Since the birth of my cousin sister's baby boy, my aunts flew to Singapore to take care of him and to visit my cousin sister at the same time. I called...after ringing for ever, the engaged tone was heard. Eh?

Oh! Should've called the landline, not mobile phone!! Dialled again, this time the landline phone. Hearing my cousin's voice at the other end makes me wanna burst out crying!! Finally, a voice that I've heard for years!! I miss everyone!! ='(

And as I expected, I called at the wrong time. They were about to go out. Everyone's happy over her newborn. I just feel sad. I'm happy that she's got her newborn but I'm sad because I'm not there to share it with her, with everyone. Suddenly I realised, it's time for me to grow up. When I was younger, I used to stick to my cousins cause they're the closes relatives to me. They are like my own sisters but now, 1 is married, the other 1 is busy working in Singapore...I'm no longer the youngest of all. Her newborn baby boy is.

Not that I'm sad because no one's gonna give me attention anymore. I'm sad because it's time for me to face reality. It's time to grow up. That's what I've been dreading. I wanna be a kid forever. No matter what, I know that someday I'll get married and have kids of my own. Now...I feel like I'm left out...I'm not even sure if my family remembers that there's a me here, in Australia, waiting eagerly to go back home...

*sob* Feel like crying...I guess, when a person gets married, that person will have to live her/his own life with her/his spouse. It's funny how sometimes I just wanna grow up and sometimes I wanna be a kid forever. ARRGGGHHHH!! Emo-ing again..which is not good at all!!

It' ok...I must cheer up!! Going to the beach for my friend's 19 birthday...but it's so freezing cold!! =S I think I'll juz freeze to death...

XOXO,
Me

6 comments:

E LianG said...

first of all, of course ur parents rmb u...parents neveer forget their children...although they lose them once in awhile in da shopping mall, especially moms...haha....
its kinda da opposite for me...they must be wandering if i ve forgotten them d...haha...but i never did, just i dont talk to them much sometimes...haha

well who doesnt wanna be a kid forever...free of responsibilites...can slack around...

well look at da bright side...now that they are married next time u ll be joining da group of " si lai" haha...sit around gossip gossip change pampers...n u can learn how to raise u r kid frm them...=)

jennifer said...

awww didnt know you felt that before coming!! well well to keep it short i agree with what..*referring* e liang said. heheh. nobody forgets us but when we emo we feel like we're all alone in this world! =)

jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lin said...

no...it's not about my parents. it's more on my relatives...my aunts...my cousins...since my aunt has a grandchild now and all...haih...i dunno la =S maybe it's juz me =)

E LianG said...

hehe...its just u la...u are thinkin like oh they are married now has children now, n so on...so u kinda like didnt talk to them that much or somethin....but the truth is maybe they are yes busy with their life n all, but they never pushed u out of their lives...u just have to start da first conversation n all...u think too much dear....haha
a few of my cousins on my mom s side are married too, but when we get together, i am still one of da boys...along with my nieces n nephews *they were still small around 5 to 7 yrs old*....=)
haven seen them in yrs, in fact i am goin back to visit them this dec*they live in singapore*...so so looking forward to it.... =)

Lin said...

O.O they're in singapore?! my cousins too!!