emotional

it's 3:17pm...at the general computer lab in college...feeling sooo emotional all of a sudden..not sure if it's because of a comment my friend made on another friend's blog...or because of yesterday's 'incident'...

if it's about the comment my friend made...it's like this : another friend of mine wrote a post about guys...watching porn and stuff...and my friend commented that guys who don't watch porn are sissies?!?! what does that suppose to mean!?! what has this world become to?! y?! i mean...what's the definition of "normal" anyway...something may be normal to me, but it may not be for other people and vice versa....so?? *sigh*

if it's about yesterday...i was soo happy for a moment when i logged in my windows live messenger...but...not for long. i double-clicked on A's nickname so that i could send him a msg...and the first thing i saw was his display pic, showing himself and his gf...by the beach. oh well...it's not the first time i see their pic...but...i dunno y!! i juz feel...down...=(

Amy Lee feat. Seether "Broken" is playing on radio now...yeah...i feel broken...

anyway, i didn't feel down the whole day...juz this moment...

not so devastating...

=D a moment ago...it felt like it was the end of the world...now, i feel like i'm on cloud 9 =P

ahhh~ so sue me! hehe~

yes, after 18 days since i last saw A online...today...the devastating day, i'm chatting with him! =))

devastating day...

i'm so so devastated...nothing makes my day anymore...

i finally got my English results...and guess what?! for almost 11 years of school life, i've never gotten such low marks!! ='(

and not only that...i think i'm losing the merit scholarship for sure...*sigh*

when u're feeling down, u'd think ur family members would be more considerate...to juz leave u alone (knowing u don't have the mood to talk much) to have time for urself...NO!

my mom obviously didn't get the drift...in the car throughout the whole journey home, she kept telling me things i am NOT interested in knowing...and i didn't give her any response...which she should know by now that i'm not having a very good day (i told her before)...

at home, she called out to me...and i was feeling lazy to give her a reply...and then she went "y r u mad at me?! what did i do?!" HELLOOO?!?! i didn't greet my dad and my bro too! not juz her!
sheesh...one more reason for me to be down...*screams*

y oh y...did this happen to me?!?! =(( i mean, when i'm down and quiet, i get scolding from my mom, but when i start an argument with her, i get scolding too! tell me...what should i do?! it sure ain't easy to be a teenager...ARGH!

i feel like going to sleep and never wake up!!!! *sob* i need a hug from someone...a big bear hug!

I'm a stranger to jealousy

I took a "Are You a Jealous Person?" quiz...

this is what i got:

Jealousy? What's That?
There aren’t many people who are strangers to jealousy, and you’re one of the lucky few. Sure, you feel a pang of envy every now and then (who doesn’t?), but you’re not the kind to mope around and think your world is coming to an end just because someone has a cooler outfit or gets a better grade than you do. You know you’ve got a lot going for you, and you accept yourself for who you are—both your strengths and weaknesses. So when someone else steps into the spotlight, even if you were hoping it would be your spotlight, you can give them a big smile and feel happy for them. With such a confident, relaxed attitude, it’s no wonder you’re a great friend. Your gal pals can count on you and share their successes with you—whether guys, grades or gifts—without worrying that you’ll throw a fit or slip into I’m-better-than-you mode. Stick with your envy-free ways and you’ll always feel good about yourself…and everyone else.

p/s: well, i think it's quite accurate...haha~ jealousy is the root of all evil after money...=D

ahhh....

that was a sigh of relief =P

everything is back to normal...except that the weather these few days is really depressing...

C is finally talking to me after that 'fight'...he thinks i'm scary when i'm angry...which i am...cause usually i don't show my temper...but when i do show, people say i'm scary....oh well, what u see is what u get...so...haha

nothing much to update...so tired...i feel old...everytime when the week reaches the end, i'd feel like energy is drained from me =S

confessions

sigh...

tell me...y life has to be so cruel to me?!

it happens all the time...ok, not exactly the same thing all the time...but when it comes to having crushes on guys..it does happen all the time...

take C for instance...when i finally gave up liking him (crush), his friends planned a huge prank to play on us...during lunch last thurs...it was as if we were a couple...everyone purposely left a place for me next to him...which wasn't the worst thing that happened that day...the worst things were my friend on my left kept pushing me to knock into him...which i think was totally rude!! then the girls opposite us were snapping our pics away without my permission!!

ARGHHHH...i was stuck there...with them...all 10+ of them...laughing at me...sheesh...and that idiotic guy, C didn't do anything to stop them...u know how it felt that moment?? it felt like i was living a nightmare...everybody's pointing and laughing at me...but no one's there to save me! i nearly nearly cried...to be honest...but then i know crying because of this is sooo not worth it...and crying's never my thing...so i sucked it up and put up a brave front...

what i felt was a mixture of emotions! anger + humiliation + scared + unknown feeling
i called a few friends of mine...hoping to be more calm listening to their voices...but no one answered my call...it's either they're in class, or they're in choir practice...*sigh*

then the next day (Fri) he 'kinda' confessed to me on msn...he typed "i luv u"...=S WHAT?!? when i'm still pissed?!? please! i'm sooo over him...now he tells me that!? what a great time...i thought i saw wrongly...so i asked "huh?" and he went "nth nth nth nth" phew~

and today...i got to chat with my bestest high school friend on msn...and the guy she likes confessed to her! if only mine is also like that....=( i really hate guy issues...can't a girl have some peace?! =S

p/s: right now, i'm dreading monday to come...because that's the day i'm gonna see him again...in college...we're friends..we're cool...i've gotta remind myself this...phew~wish me luck! whoever's reading this...

i've been tagged by a bird...LOL~

-The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
-Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
-Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
-If you are tagged the second time.There is NO need to do this again.
-Lastly, most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT!! ^^

1. gender : can be either male or female (i think i'm so gonna be anti-males if i meet anymore jerks) =( but before jerks, i think i want my perfect lover to be a male...
2. he must be masculine (as in not sissy), has manly features and long hair (unless he suits short hair) [in reality looks must not be too ugly...but since this is for the PERFECT lover...=P]
3. my perfect one must be able to stand up for me when i'm being bullied [experienced being bullied the day before yesterday...and...it felt like i was living a nightmare but no one was there to save me...='( ]
4. If i ever get a perfect lover, i wish he would treat me like his best friend whom he can share secrets and problems with...
5. must be sporty...haha...so that he can motivate me into exercising...and we can stay fit together =P and play at least one musical instrument...so romantic!! <3
6. doesn't agree to everything i say juz to let me win a fight...i want us to sit down and talk things out...share each other's feelings...oh, and no name-callings during fights and no mentioning about each other's mistakes long long time ago.
7. doesn't smoke!!! i almost forgot this one...i don't wanna be around someone with tobacco breath...piercings is acceptable...only on the ears...but no extreme ones...haha...preferably no tattoos...dyed hair is acceptable to me...since u can't judge someone by their looks...right?
8. mature! i nearly forgot this too...=)

i tag :

1. Sze May
2. Eva
3. anyone who's reading this
4. anyone who's reading this
5. anyone who's reading this
6. anyone who's reading this
7. anyone who's reading this
8. Choh Khai if he's reading this =S which i doubt

p/s: the 8 points mentioned about my perfect lover isn't 100% accurate....since i habe more points in mind...=)

lots of stories but feeling sleepy...

i'm the one with shoulder-length wavy hair =)

...so i'll juz blog about today...

initially i wanted to blog about that cute guy i saw in baskin robbin's last fri =P

hehe...

anyway, today i found out that guys will always b guys...

that guy in college, C...used to tell me i look pretty no mater what (sounds like bull**** and geli, i know) =S

today...my friend asked him if i should cut my hair and he suggested that i trim and STRAIGHTEN my hair!

y is everyone asking me to straighten my hair?! i mean...i love my waves ok? lol...i know they're very very ugly now...but a year later...i'll turn into a swan! LOL~

and i'm not being stubborn or whatever, i'm juz making a stand...i do not wanna meddle my hair with those chemical stuff and all...in any artificial ways available...cause i know once u straighten ur hair, u need to go for treatments and such...which is a no-no for me...besides... i love my waves! juz can't wait for my hair to grow long....

oops...anyway, and today C suggested that!? HAIR-STRAIGHTENING?!

y are people not satisfied with what they have? it's ironic, isn't it?

girls who have wavy/curly hair go to salons to straighten their hair...while those with straight hair go to salons to perm them....*sigh*

i'm juz loving myself...loving every part of me even if ppl think i should do something about it. i don't need anything like hair-straightening to love myself...or to feel confident...or to make guys look at me *pukes* (attention which i absolutely do not need!)

so...haha..here's a pic of me with my messy and wavy hair! LOL~ *winks* =)

p/s: now u know y i don't wanan pluck my eyebrows =P i love my eyebrows too...don't have the heart to even pluck it...

Happy Ending <3

awww...luckily ming dao in 'wang zi bian qing wa' had a happy ending! =')

i was dreading the ending because i thought it would be a tragic one....one that will break my heart...and make me think "y can't 2 lovers be together after going through so much?!"

but wow...it turned out to be a 'happily ever after' ending...oh my god! i'm sooooo on cloud 9! haha...=D stupid, i know...*speechless*

oh well, i'm juz happy no one died and no one had cancer...=))