Friday, July 27, 2012

Unknown emotion

I just woke up from a 3-hour nap, which was supposed to be only an hour. I guess it's the norm these days. If I don't take a nap in the afternoon, the next day I'd be a zombie. Taking naps in the afternoon actually reminds me of primary and high school so much. Those were the days when I came home from school, had lunch and plopped myself on the bed (without changing or taking a shower). Then I'd wake up just in time for dinner and after that would be homework. I don't remember ever taking an afternoon nap THAT long since after high school. When I went to uni, my sleeping habit was quite a healthy one - sleeping by 12am and waking up at 8am every day. I don't know what happened when I came home...that very strict routine of mine went down the drain. For the past week I've been trying very very hard to go to bed earlier at night but so far my effort seems futile because of my long afternoon nap.

I just realised I wrote a whole paragraph on afternoon nap. Riiiight. So, after 3 hours of sleep I'm sitting here feeling....weird. Don't even know this feeling/emotion. My mind is just so active yet so blank. Listening to Kana Nishino's Missing You and I think I might have assigned this song to a certain someone (CS). I am sure that in the future when I listen to this I'd think of CS. But then again, everything fades with time.

So, was supposed to have dinner with a friend but she ended up cancelling it because she felt tired. Well, it's not exactly a bad thing since I was feeling lazy to go out anyway. I guess deep down I'm a homey person? Like I don't mind people cancelling appointments UNLESS I woke up early for it OR I've already gotten all ready and waiting. Woke up to a dark house. No one to be seen or heard. Turned out my parents went to Tesco, without me! OK to be fair, they thought I was going out for dinner with my friend. *sigh* I so want to  go do some grocery shopping! Oh well...

It's finally Friday, the long awaited day. Finally, I can happily say that I'm counting down to the day I leave this workplace. I know I'll miss the children very much though sometimes they get on my nerves. But deep down I actually do love them (although I complain about them a lot). LOL Children...I so need to have the mind of little children - simple and innocent. The adult world does make things complicated. Children are so fearless and carefree. I remember being just like that but as I grew up, I struggled to keep my identity whilst trying to fit into the adult society. Oh, the struggle. I remember how people used to tell me to appreciate my uni life because when you step into the workplace, it'll never be the same. Come to think of it, I'm glad I started working at Popular. It was my first job ever, though part-time. I got to meet friends whom I'm still in touch today and I got to experience the retail industry. Don't think I'll go into said industry in the future. Then it was the job after that. Having only 4 people, including me, in the office, I still had my fair share of fun moments with my colleague and superior. However, if I had to describe my second job in 2 words, they'd be boring and monotonous. I literally kept checking the time, hoping that the hands on the clock would miraculously point to the numbers 5 and 6. After I left my second job, I finally got to experience the gossiping and backstabbing thing that often occur in the workplace. I tried so hard to keep my head up and not drown in the culture and I got tired of it. Maybe that's why I just can't wait to leave. No more fake smiles/greetings. Funny thing is, my usual talkative self managed to keep mum when some teachers complain to me about the other teachers. I'm just so impressed with myself. So top tip to survive at workplace: NEVER conform to the culture and stay true to yourself  (I know, it sounds so cliche but it's true!).

Like I said I don't know what/how I'm feeling at the moment. As I reread this post, I realised I already wrote an essay. Oh and how fragmented this post is. Each paragraph is just so unrelated to the other paragraphs. So on another unrelated note, another friend is sending my dinner over! Whee...suddenly feel so loved. Hehe...Best part is I don't have to step out of the house yet I get to have dinner in the comfort of my own home. :D

I think I have babbled enough...for now.


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