Saturday, November 22, 2008

I'm devastated, don't ask.

Just came back from sitting for a paper. & guess what?! Instead of feeling relieved that I've finally finished 3 papers, I feel totally, utterly & extremely shitty! I dunno about you, but I somehow feel a tad inferior being around ang mohs in the exam hall. I know their first language is English & I bet that they'd think we, international students, are not as smart because we have to bring in dictionaries (not that we HAVE to, but just IN CASE they use bombastic words that are totally out of our league). It was distracting when the time for the ang mohs was up & they all left the exam hall. It made me feel nervous because now there were only a few international students left (we get extra 10 mins for every hour, in this case 20, since the exam duration was 2 hours).

*SIGH* Talking about time, I still cannot believe that we were given 2 hours for such a long paper!! =S The thing that makes me feel bo kam muan is that, I did extremely well for ALL the assignments for this subject & if this exam paper pulls down the average grade, I'd be damned! I KNOW I'll pass this paper, just not with flying colours, that's all. =( & I know how people always say "when you're in uni, as long as you pass, it's alright, you don't need distinctions to get a degree" but...this is something rather personal, like I fail to even reach my full potential, y'know? Somehow being brought up in a competitive Chinese school has instilled this kiasu-ness in me though I don't show it. My parents never pressured me into achieving excellent grades & I thank them for that because it makes me a person who knows how to think for their own good. & I don't wanna disappoint them, knowing I could've done waaaayyy better.

I'm going on & on & I know you're bored reading this. I just needed to rant. For the final paper, I'm gonna shine (hopefully)! *fingers crossed*

Me

8 comments:

Maree said...

don't worry girl, you will shine..and very brightly too, if i may add.hehe...i'm going back abt 10 days after u...tunggu sayaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......!

Lin said...

awww...thanks! =) I really hope so la...if not i'd be disappointing myself & my parents. =( really?! u're coming back on the 15th?! o.O
yayyy!! I'll tunggu UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....!! We go & watch movie ok?! LOL This time I'll dress up as someone who's over 18 so that they won't check my ID =P

jennifer said...

lol just know as long as you've done your best then ok already la. even if it's just 80-90% effort enough already. lol. ok off to the airport! hahaa

Maree said...

lol...i finish on the 15th...maybe around 16th or 17th i will balik...lol.i cant wait!!!haha...okok...no more shirts n cargoes?

Lin said...

jennifer: but then it's not that i dunno how to do ma...it's not enough time!! ='( if i had time, then i know i gave my best adee...

maree: LOL ermm..see la, if i manage to shop once i reach home. then no more shirts n cargoes lo =P

Jen Min said...

Hey Lin... this post makes me somewhat curious and anxious about what I would have to face with next year! Tell me more when we meet up k? Gotta prepare myself with loads of tips from you and KT! Good luck with your exams. Do your best and trust in the Lord.

Love you =)

Lin said...

hey jen...mayb it's just me la =( u can ask kt about some of her horrible experience with drunkards/non-drunkards too. yup, thanks! love u too! <3

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