Thursday, December 29, 2005

in a mess

honestly...ANYONE who is reading this...do not hesitate to leave me a comment ok?? 'she' in this post needs some advice...

ok, i'll be very frank as i'm not in the mood to type alot (confused with college options)...

it happened when she was 10, a 12-year-old boy, T, confessed his feelings for her...she had feelings for him too at that time, then a year later, he moved to another state...so they kinda wrote letters to each other...he even called her...she STILL had feelings for him until she was 12...she had a huge crush on A until this day (she's 17 this year)...then, this year T came to visit her on the night of christmas eve...over the years when they were apart, he often dropped hints telling her that he still feels the way he did years ago...she juz simply ignored them...afraid to face reality...she juz shrugged them off and often left clues telling him that she treats him as a friend and nothing more...one day when they went for a movie...he gave her a gift...but knowing that by accepting his gift, he might get the wrong message, she insisted that she didn't want the gift, but he said that she'll understand once she accepted the gift...and she didn't even tell him that she didn't feel the same way he did already...so..in the end...she didn't accept his gift...did she do the right thing?? should she juz ask him what he thinks she's thinking??

anything at all...juz drop by and tell me what u think she should do....and not do...anything!

6 comments:

kryptos said...

as u know, i confessed to my crush before. even though she has made it clear right from the start that she's already committed, sometimes, she still wants to know i still like her. her action naturally sends me the wrong message... u know, things like "is she considering me?"... but, she states that there's nothing more to that - it's just that she's just curious, that's all. so, u see, without frank communication, things can go awry easily because different ppl may interpret a simple action in different ways. i'd hv reacted in the wrong way should i not clarify with her. but, because she didn't hesitate to make herself clear, it saved us a lot of misunderstanding.

did he come all the way to her house just to give her a surprise? if so, i think it's very cruel towards him to reject his gift. i can easily relate to his feelings because i'm experiencing a situation quite similar to his as well... i bought my crush a belated christmas present (but i haven't given it to her because she's currently in vacation until this friday). i'm rather nervous cosidering the fact that she might reject my gift - like u mentioned - so as not to give me false hopes. to me, if she accepts my gift, i wouldn't take it as a sign that she's beginning to accept me - it's only meant to cheer her up. but if she rejects it, i'd be utterly despaired.

what did he mean by "she'll understand once she accepted the gift"? could it turn out to be something different from what she surmised. so, why not hv a frank talk with him? straighten things out so that both sides won't be guessing at each other's thoughts. and pls be concern of his feelings... love without reciprocal can be painful enough by itself... i'm sure u know that...

Lin Whatever! said...

hmmm...that's the prob...he said to her 'u'll understand once u accept it'...that's the reason y she didn't wanna accept it...she was afraid that he still likes her...and if they have a frank talk...i'm afraid that they can't be friends anymore, considering the fact that if he STILL likes her for so long...ok, so how is she gonna talk to him without hurting his feelings?

kryptos said...

sure enough, he most probably still has feelings towards her. it takes more than just being a normal friend for him to come all the way just to meet her.

i doubt that it will affect their relationship if they have a frank talk. of course, both of them must be mature enough if they were to remain as friends. but if she continues to ignore him and does not let him to have the chance to explain himself - and to listen to her explanations, both of them can only keep guessing at each other's intentions.

furthermore, if he's really in love with her, he'd be more than glad that she acknowledges him instead of avoiding him, even if he were only being treated as a friend. the best that she can do is to offer to be his best pal. but, she has to make it clear to him so as to avoid any misunderstanding.

just let him spill out his bottled-up feelings first. then, tell him how she feels. rejection will inevitably hurt. but, i believe he's more or less aware of the outcome. so, he's probably prepared for this. she should pay attention to what he has to say. it's ok to ask how he feels and to respond honestly. that, i believe will make him feel better... at least, i'd - if i were in his place...

Lin Whatever! said...

ahhhhh...never thought if it that way!

thanks!

honestly...u could be a counsellor! =P

kryptos said...

yeah, sometimes it's hard to think clearly especially when u're in a quandary. that's when it's good to seek advice.

dun mention it! :) u're flattering me! i'm terrible when it comes to giving advice. so, i was merely offering my opinion since i've a similar experience. glad to be of help. lemme know if it works! ;) and all the best to "her"!

Lin Whatever! said...

haha...i'm not flattering u! i'm being honest!=)

yeah sure...i'll tell u if everything turns out fine for her...