It's the time of year

For the first time I'm spending Christmas away from home. Although the Christmas atmosphere is everywhere in the UK, I still feel....a teeny weeny bit of homesickness. But it's OK, I'm fine. Really. It's just that seeing status updates and pictures of friends spending Christmas with their friends and family back home on Facebook does sting, no matter how I tell myself that it's OK.

Can't believe it's Christmas already, 7 days later we'll be welcoming the new year! And then the new term starts again. The moment I reached home from my Christmas eve dinner with the church saints, I received Christmas wishes on my wall and it made me really nostalgic. I reflected on the past year and thought...I didn't do much. I spent most of my time working, going out with friends and sleeping, or even wasting time away in front of the computer. To be honest, I don't think I spent much time with my family. *guilty* My aunts and cousins are already in Penang today with my niece and nephew and I really wish I could be home to see everyone!

I never knew how much I wanted to be with my family until now. T_T Like one of my friends said, she never knew she wanted to be home so much before she worked in the US for such a long time. I guess humans are like that. We never know what we want until we lose it. At this point I don't think I'm structuring coherent sentences. Anyway, I realised that every year I would make resolutions, all psyched up for the new year but....they never go the way as planned. This time I shall refrain myself from making resolutions. I just hope that I am able to complete my postgraduate studies and not get too shitty a grade.

In the past year, I fell in and out of love. Let's just say...it doesn't matter if you never get to be with the one you love because as long as he is happy, you are happy and that's all that matters. =) Finally, I can proudly say that I am freed from all those sticky love issues. I've never felt this relieved for a long time and it feels awesome!!!!

Tomorrow's Christmas...I think I'm spending my night in PJ's wrapped up in my warm blanket and watch Love Actually and have dessert. Hmmm...sounds like a plan! Whoever's reading this, merry christmas and a happy new year!!

XOXO
Me

Love is selfless

因为爱他，所以希望他幸福就算不能跟他在一起。这就是所谓的真爱吧！^_^

有时候我真的不了解自己

我到底是不是个怕寂寞的人？有时候觉得是，但有时候却觉得自己很喜欢一个人 － 一个人逛街、一个人买菜、一个人发呆、一个人探险。久而久之，就真的享受一个人的生活。也许我也算是怕改变的人吧。在这里两个多月了，也渐渐习惯了一个人。有时候很想找朋友聊聊天，又怕我打扰了人家，所以就制止自己去找人家。

前天一位朋友来找我。因多年不见，我对这个计划有点排斥，但相处了一天之后又慢慢熟了起来。人生就是这样吧，没有什么东西是永久的，有聚就有散。出去走了一天，我朋友就决定当晚回去。送他去火车站之后，突然心头有种郁闷。回到我房间面对着四面墙，没人跟我说话，没有人和我一起吃晚餐。这些不是我之前一直以来的习惯吗？怎么突然觉得不是滋味呢？

我朋友说人就是犯贱的。我想也是，在生活里我们不可能什么东西都依自己的意思行事。想一个人的时候，别人偏偏有空；而当我想要有人陪时，别人却很忙。也因为这样，为了不想造成别人的困扰，我变得很孤僻吧。在这里同班同学虽然都相处得很好，一旦下课各有各的生活和节目。想要找一个能够谈心事的朋友也难，每个人的文化不同，想要对方能够给予的忍耐度有限，完全不能自己。唉！算了吧，现在接受事实也好。离读完书还有九个月，我可以撑过去的。

寒假开始了，每个人都纷纷回家跟家人相聚庆祝圣诞节。原本宿舍的车场泊满了车，现在车场都空空的，看了有点心酸。好想一个人去背包旅行，但是又怕父母担心，因为一些地方扒手很多，治安没那么好。

Just when I think things are getting better...

...it doesn't. It's like a never-ending cycle. I'm starting to get really sick of this. Getting so annoyed with myself even. I'll survive...I know I will, because I always do. :)

Been listening to this lately.




Just when I thought I stopped missing...I do again. argh!

Well...time to study, no time to think!!!!

XOXO

Hello December!

How time flies! I know I know...I'm starting to sound like a broken record. lol. but i can't help it! I can't believe it's already December! December is...a month of magical moments to me, simply because it's Christmas month, or maybe because after December is the new year.

Anyway, enough about December. For the past week, I've been so so so stressed I don't even know where to start. First, I fell terribly sick but I managed to drag myself to class - call me kiasu but I really didn't want to miss out on any important information which could be of help to our presentation or assessments. For the first time I felt so helpless...I couldn't breathe because of congested nose, walking against the cold wind made it even worse. Most of the time I felt like hiding under my warm covers the whole day and wished I didn't have to get up.

Because our poster presentation was on Friday, 6 days leading to Friday I didn't step out of my room at all (walking to the kitchen doesn't count). I felt so tired but still I had to push myself to focus and prepare for the presentation. Was feeling emo most of the time, having to deal with the stress AND missing someone. I initially planned to get my poster printed the day before the presentation but I wasn't finished yet! I ended up staying up till 2am and because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep well due to stress and nervousness, I gulped down a mug of camomile tea before going to bed and it worked like magic! 

The next day I got up really early, at 6:30am, so that I could rush to the print shop to get my poster printed before going to class. And it was that morning that I realised how IMPORTANT sleep is. I mean, I knew sleep was important all along but the effect of sleeping late just ONE night was incredible! I was starving (only had kit kat for lunch and 2 slices of pizza for dinner the day before) so I decided to make some oats to be eaten with the fresh cranberries I got. The cranberries were awfully sour, so I thought drizzling some honey on my oats would be nice right? I was so so so sleepy that I drizzled washing liquid on my oats! o_O To be honest, I'm thankful I didn't start eating it to realise what I'd done! I was literally standing there stunned for a few seconds before throwing the bowl of oats away. 

That day I caught the bus really early for the first time here. The cold still air was really nice and calming. Everything seemed calm and slow-moving, which was the total opposite of how I felt. Was so relieved I managed to get my poster printed just in time for me to go to class. Oh, and because of sleep deprivation, I almost left my debit card at the store after paying. =/ 

*fast forward to afternoon*

After my poster presentation, was fooling around with my classmates when I suddenly remembered that   I needed to upload my poster online again because of an error. It was at that moment that I realised my pendrive wasn't with me! I was panicking, wondering where it could possibly be....and then...the print shop?! I had forgotten to get my pendrive from the print shop! *smacks forehead* Good thing the guy working there had kept it safe when I went back to collect it. Oh, and I discovered that I'm not the only one who has a major crush on our course leader/lecturer! =p 

It was such a huuuuuge relief when the poster presentation finally ended! I was so so so so proud of myself for not giving up. That feeling was just indescribable! At least if I didn't get the grade I was hoping for, at least I know I've tried my best. =) Went to the pub opposite our uni for a drink with a few classmates and even though I was dead tired, I actually enjoyed it. It seemed like things were starting to change for the better. I guess before this I was too caught up and stressed about everything that I didn't bother to get to know my classmates better. Well, I took 3 months to settle down in Adelaide, perhaps after 3 months here I would feel much better? And one of my classmates commented that I sound really American. She's the second person to said this to me. Oh and we were sort of asking each other their age and again, I don't look my age...lol. 

So the 1st day of Dec was spent doing laundry and basically relaxing the whole day. I really wanted to go for a walk in the city but the temperature outside turned me off. Maybe another day. Today I just enjoyed being nua.

And again, how time flies! 1st Dec is over...hello 2nd Dec!

That's me with my poster (which cost GBP20!) xox