1st post back in Adelaide

As you can see in my title, I'm back in Adelaide.

Wasn't supposed to be back this early, anyway...it's a long story.

I woke up this morning, stared at the four walls of my room and suddenly I felt so alone!! ='(

Most of my friends are attached this year...when I arrived, only then I realised that 2 of my closest friends are attached to each other!

Nothing has changed, I know they're still my friends, but somehow I feel that I can't find them whenever I want anymore. They might wanna spend time alone...

This year I wanna be independent, as in I can have fun and all without having to go kacau my friends. I shall learn how to live like there's no one around me...

It's 12pm already...great! I shall go n prepare to go out...

XOXO,
Me

Still caught up...

...in a whirlwind of confusion.

I've said this before but I'm gonna say it again - I can't believe I'm turning 20 this year!!!!!
It's been 8 years since I left primary school....
...3 years since I left high school.
...2 years since I left college.

Time does fly when you're having fun. Just today, I was on the phone with an old friend and we couldn't believe that our Form 3 years are over. That was the year where I got closer to her...and the rest is just history.

So, turning 20 soon means that I have to face the grown up world sooner or later. Over the years, I've learnt that it is very important to be yourself. Being as naive as I was, I thought that as long as we're true to ourselves, we do not have to give a damn about what other people think or say. How very wrong I was. We live in a world where pleasing people is a "should-do". We can choose not to, but our social life will suffer tremendously. On the other hand, if we choose to please people, we suffer inside.

*at this point I'm not thinking coherently, so ignore whatever grammar mistakes there is*

Setting: High school Form 3, 2003; Classroom
Character: Y and I (E)

Y: E, you know, sometimes I admire you alot.
E: Oh? And y is that?
Y: I dunno...It's like I admire your principles.
E: My principles? *confused as I never knew I had principles, LOL*
Y: Yeah...You stick to them well. You're the kind of person who listens to people's suggestions, but decides yourself whether you wanna follow or not. That's a very good quality. You don't reject others' opinions straightaway, you listen then decide.
E: Ohhh...

That was what encouraged me to be myself. Listen but decide myself whether what I do is right or not. Unfortunately, I remember what people say too easily that it bothers me sometimes. I may be very happy but I'd feel down the moment I hear something that makes me think and wonder.

I ponder on what people say too much sometimes that I feel like I need to catch my breath.

I wanna be who I wanna be, but on the other hand, I care about what people say.

Sometimes we wanna say "I don't care what people think or say" but we can't. Cause nobody can just NOT care about what people think or say!!

I shall not reveal what's bothering me. I'll just say that my beliefs since I was young were shattered since I went to Aus because people there tell me what I SHOULD do and SHOULD not do. I'm confused. I wanna stand firm to my beliefs and yet I care about what people say. =S ARGH!! This is so bad.

Just came back from tea with SX and initially we had a really good conversation until he mentioned THAT. It made me feel confused again!!

N said "people change____ of their ____ because they feel insecure about it, if you're confident about _____ _____ then no need to change lo"

By now, you should've guessed what I'm talking about. Haih.

Guys...another thing I do not understand...I find it so hard to relate to this "species". =(

I guess it's a wonder how God made females and males so differently that we cannot live without either one of them.

When will this habit of my thinking change?? I can't sleep without finishing up this post cause I will think myself to sleep and I'll end up dreaming weird dreams...

I guess right now, this song relates to me the most...

Imperfect girl
I don't have a perfect smile
maybe I'm just too shy
I'm not a beauty queen
on covers of magazines
that's something you can't deny
I got my own style

So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

I wouldn't be classed as cool
I have to bend the rules
Maybe I don't fit in
I didn't always win
that's something you can't deny
I'm happy with my own style

So what you see is what you get
A girl of no regrets
I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

It's all just make-believe
The standards that we hear
It doesn't have to be
A perfect world, a perfect world

I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

I'm not ideal - I'm quite absurd
I'm just an imperfect girl
I rise above this perfect world
I'm just an imperfect, imperfect girl

I need some encouragement right now, but who will ever understand how I feel?

There is only One Person. God.

As I'm thinking, I remembered the book I've read last year. I've learnt alot from that book and I'll always remember. =) In it, there's a passage that goes like this:

“Accept yourself. Love yourself. Respect yourself…If my house is based on God’s word, then even when the rains of bad feelings and self doubt come, my house of self-esteem will stand firm because it is built on the rock of God’s unchanging truth, not my ever-shifting feelings about myself. Self-esteem is necessary for all psychological health, and there is no absolutely sure basis for self-esteem other than the assurance of God’s love for me.”

Yes, now i'm encouraged!! I shall not let bad feelings and self doubt rain on me! Whatever that is of this world is not important. We don't live for people, but for Him! It's what He thinks that matters!!

Whenever I feel like I'm drifting away from You, You give me the wisdom to ponder upon Your words and pick me up, drawing me nearer to You. And I thank You.

XOXO,
Me

Queer Dream...

Due to unknown reasons, I haven't been sleeping very soundly lately. I keep having weird dreams that make me wonder their meaning.

Once, I dreamt that my cousin's baby boy could talk already although he was only 5 months old.

Just last night, I dreamt about so many people in a dream. There were C, N, H, S, a teacher from my primary school and a few unknown people. In the dream, we were all back in high school and the weird thing is C, H and S who are males happen to be in the same class too. N, my best friend, spent most of her time with them instead of me and it made me really jealous and the thing that surprised me most was C actually came to spend time with me because he understood how I felt. O.O Then after a while, the scene changed to a huge carpark and I was attempting to drive up a slope with my mom's auto car. I ended up nearly knocking the sides of the slope n killing everyone who was in the car. =S Then the scene changed again, this time I was in the toilet trying to pass motion (I know, it's super weird right?!) and apparently that primary school teacher asked me to flush more often as the feces will harden and it'll b hard to flush it away later on. *faint*

Now, tell me...what kind of dream is THAT?!

XOXO,
Me

Death

It's been days since the tragic bus crash at Slim River happened. When I first heard it from my friend, Pras, I thought it was another bus crash, just like the ones that usually happen around Chinese New Year period but when she said that one of her friends got killed in it, I gave it a second thought. I have never lost a loved one, and I would never want to go through the pain. I didn't know what to say so I brushed it aside, hoping that I could distract her from thinking about it too much. After all, when it comes to sad stuff, I have no clue how to console a person.

Didn't know how serious the bus crash was until I visited a friend's blog at www.xinch.wordpress.com. Apparently, friends of one of the victims in the bus crash, Nian Ning, are coming up with a petition for safer bus rides to urge the authorities to take action in preventing future similar incidents from happening. Year after year, there have been only talk but no action. I guess although I can never understand how her loved ones feel, I bet it must be extremely hard. So I'm doing my part to spread the news.

The news article about the Nian Ning: http://xinch.wordpress.com/2008/01/29/remember-nian-ning/

Bus Crash No More blog:
http://buscrashnomore.blogspot.com/

Since none of these people are bothered to do anything about it, it’s up to us to push for a change. Bloggers,

Please post this on your blog now to help:

Chung Lern and Nian Ning’s families would like all families and friends of the victims, dead or alive, in the Slim River Bus Crash to come forward and join them in taking action against the bus company. Stand up to seek justice for these three innocent individuals, who were all so young and full of life.

If you have a blog, please call out to ANYONE who

knows someone who survived or did not survive

the crash to come forward to join the Lee family.

Make a huge difference, make a huge fuss.

For now, you may contact Lee Chung Lern at chunglern@gmail.com or preferably on his handphone at 012-6670368.

What we can also do is boycott Konsortium express buses.

Pay a little bit more for Nice - is your life not worth that extra RM23?
Another solution that might not be the best, drive. Get 3 friends, a car, and at least the fate of your lives are in your own hands. But remember, drive safely.
Or if you can afford it - FLY. AirAsia and Firefly are making air travel a lot more affordable for us. Like I said - is your life not worth that extra money?

Nian Ning was loved by her family and her friends. Don’t let her be just another statistic to add to the current rise of deaths on the road. After all, we quickly forget.

But she was loved. Read Jien Ann’s blog, Pei Wen’s blog, Sookie’s, check out her boyfriend’s photopage or even her other friend’s blogs. Or check out the facebook group her those dearest to her created in her memory.

Stop being so ‘tidak apa’.

Don’t forget - it could have easily been me, or you, or your loved ones.

Rest in Peace, my friend.

~Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. (1 John 3:18)

All words in blue were taken from Xinch's blog.

May Nian Ning and the other 2 victims R.I.P.

XOXO,

Me

2nd post of the year

I still can't believe it's already 2008!! 2007 just flew by and I couldn't wait for 2007 to end because I felt so left out in a new place and underwent loads of unnecessary stress. Loads have happened in 2007, which when I come to think of them, they were nothing, no big deal. So, this year I'll turn 20 in May! The big 2!! O.o Oh no...time is ticking away, and I'm becoming older and older each year. So, should I change the title of my blog, or what?? Cause in fact I am a teenager at heart. Hmmm...

Anyway, was just thinking...

I was talking to a friend about C, only then I knew how much I've hurt him. I guess it was my fault I rushed into a decision and now I can't turn back time. C and I used to be very close too. Close to the extent that we could talk about some taboo stuff. Come to think of it, he's an extremely accepting guy. So this time when I came back for my summer holidays, I msged him to ask if he's back in Penang. I thought that we could meet up, like what old friends do. Little did I realise that he doesn't wanna be my friend (at least that's what I think based on how he treated me). So, N's friend is C's best friend and so N's friend told N that he was really really hurt. And it suddenly hit me that I never tried to feel how he felt that time. *sigh* Maybe it's a lesson learnt.

...if I'd rather not know what N's friend told N or know it and be a little depressed over it?

=S I'm a confused girl and always will be.

XOXO,
Me

I've been tagged by Liz

RULES:
1. The tag victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
2. Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the second time, there is NO need to do this again.
5. Lastly, and most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.

I have to list down the 8 qualities of a guy that make him my man. Of course, I have to be more realistic. So here goes...

1. A sense of humour - I don't mind if he's lame, as long as he makes me laugh.
   Of course too much lameness will make the magic fade away. So...I prefer that he has every kind of humour in moderate XD I quote M, "a guy who has a sense of humour already scores 30% over a hundred".
2. Not afraid to communicate - Communicate, in the sense that he can share his feelings and thoughts with me and vice versa...so that we can be honest with each other. In other words, there's trust between my man and I, something like the one between my BFF and I =)
   
3. My source of strength - When I fall, he'll be there to give me words of encouragement and inspiration. Or even better, he doesn't have to say anything and I'll know that he believes in me to stand up on my own again (something like what Liz said in her blog). And when I need to be weak once in a while, he'll be there for me to run into his warm embrace. The most important thing of all is that he must always remind us of our faith - Lord our God is our ultimate source of strength.
   
4. Knows how to act at different times - My man has to know when to be mature or immature. I want a guy who can be immature with me when we're having fun but can be mature when he's dealing with serious stuff.
5. Complements me - A guy has to complement me. For example, although we have different personalities but we complete and get along well with each other perfectly!! (well, not perfect-perfect, but perfect...u know what I mean)
6. Space - Although we spend time doing things together, I hope that my man and I could give each other some space once in a while...for me to hang out with my girl friends and him with his guys.
7. Able to romance me - I don't ask for the super romantic, expensive restaurant kind...but the little things he does every day that makes me feel loved. He doesn't have to realise that he's doing it. =)
   
8. Since everyone says looks count, I'll just say that he has to be taller than me (my head must reach at least his shoulder XD), not too bad-looking and is not too skinny/fat.

I tag:
Prasana
Maree
Shao Thing
Kazu (if he ever reads this, which I doubt)
Esther Tan (which I doubt she'll ever see this)
Ghee Leng
Jennifer
Sze May

XOXO,
Me

It's been too long...

...since I left you here.

My holidays are great...meaning I finally feel the feeling of having a holiday! Been busy hanging out with friends from the past (well, it kinda feels like it) and reliving memories.

During the past 1 year, well, maybe not...9 months being away from home, I guess I realized a great deal of facts about life. As for me, I think I've learnt that if we keep hanging on to the past, we are unable to live out future to the fullest. However, if we remember lessons from the past and apply it in the future, then it would bring us benefits. It may sound easy but one thing I know is that I'm not the kind who can juz forget about the past and move on like that...sometimes I think too much, sometimes I say things without thinking, sometimes I regret not doing the things that I should have. So you see, I do think about the past now and then. Being back home for nearly a month, I've been chasing my past. I wanna make everything right again. So, I finally made it up to a friend whom I've lost contact with for ages since he had his girlfriend. After all, he's leaving for US in January.

Just the other day, I was laughing my signature laughter with my Penang friends at Gurney Plaza and suddenly one of them remarked, "Ee Lin!! I haven't heard your laughter for ages!! I miss it so much...." That exact moment, I felt like I've found my old self!! I can be who I wanna be...I guess I do laugh like that in Adelaide too, but not as freely as I wanted to because my friends would tell me that people are looking. It may be embarrassing, but I miss doing that so much!! So what if people are looking?? I laugh like no one's around...juz in my own world, where everything stands still.

Maybe because in Adelaide, I look out for my manners alot that I don't feel natural. Even the 1st time hanging out with my best friend of 5 years, I felt so weird...I even said excuse me after burping. She said "aiya, it's not your first time la ok?!" and I thought: oh...I've totally forgotten how to act in front of her. *sigh* I feel so torn apart. Malaysia and Adelaide, which is my home?? The me in Malaysia vs. the me in Adelaide, which is the real me??

I guess I'm just too emotional...=)

XOXO,
Me

What did I do today?

Woke up today and a thought passed through my mind "go for the Popular Bookstore interview and get yourself a job!"

I was so determined to get that job...I mean, getting a job is one of the things I wanna do when I get back to Penang.

So off I went to Gurney Plaza (GP) right after my lunch, walked into Popular with high hopes and I realised that the poster with the recruiting information was gone!! They must've hired someone already...*sigh*

As determined as I was, I walked around GP, hoping to find shops with vacancy notices on the glass door. I did find a few but I was too shy to walk in to ask =S Coward, I know...

In the end, I did walk in 2 stores to ask - 1 is Tower Records which sells CDs and another 1 is Memory Lane which sells cards n souvenirs. Didn't get to be interviewed but the TR guy asked me to come back the next day because their manager wasn't in and the ML lady said she'll call me for an interview.

Right now, I really really hope I get the TR job...haha~ If I get it, it would be my 1st job ever!!!

p/s: more updates on my job interview tomorrow or when I remember XP

XOXO,
Me

Thrilled

Woke up...had my breakfast consisting of half-boiled egg with soy sauce and pepper and homemade bread (yummy!!), checked my e-mail...

There it was, sitting in my inbox!

The name was EM...so I thought it was from EM that I know in Adelaide, but I felt a little weird as why EM would send me e-mails about volunteering in medical camps =S

As I read the e-mail further, I realised it was from EM, my bio lecturer who taught me last year!!

She's a strong woman with aspiration to care for the environment. She loves her job as a botanist and most of all, she's the one who inspired me!

Well, she's also the one who got me into donating my hair to kids who have diseases that cause hair loss. =)

I really can't wait to see her again...never in my life had someone influenced me so positively!!

Time to get ready and go out for lunch!!

Before I go, I realised Penang people are just so simple...I can go out in a T-shirt and shorts...without even worrying about not shaving the hair on my legs! Lalala~ I feel so free!!

XOXO,
Me

I'm sick and tired...

...of being the only one that is making an effort to keep in touch!!

Why does it always have to be me?!

Well, maybe they don't miss me enough...I don't know.

They say that time and distance make people grow apart, I don't think so...it's up to us to make an effort, really.

Everytime I tell myself that if they don't do their part, then I don't give a damn!

But, no...I think it's just such a waste to throw away a friendship like that...

Instead, I'm the one who got hurt...right...how smart am I?

Enough said, I shall not give a damn!

XOXO,
Me

food for thought

i've been home for 4 days already...instead of feeling relaxed n happy, i feel worried and troubled.

it made me realise how fast time flies...with a blink of an eye, i'll be out working as a psychologist (hopefully) and it would be the time to make a decision on where i wanna settle down - malaysia or adelaide (or any other part of the world)?

i told myself before that i'll juz accept whatever God brings me to...if i get a husband in adelaide n he wants to stay there, so be it. but what if i'm still single by the time i graduate and i dunno where to settle? family or career? i know that maybe, juz maybe i'll earn more n progress more if i work outside malaysia but my family members are all back home...and they won't live forever. would i wanna risk not seeing them and regret later on?

not only that, seeing the dilemma my cousin sister has to go through got me thinking as well. now that she has a baby, she's in a dilemma if she wants to stay at home to look after her baby or go to work and let her parents bring the baby home to be cared for. personally, i would wanna look after my baby myself but on the other hand, my cousin needs to work as well as they wouldn't be able to afford raising the baby.

i know this sounds crazy...i only finished 1st year of uni and i'm thinking about this. i used to say "i'll graduate first and then i'll see how it goes" but time flies way too fast...before i know it, i'll be graduating and i'll be realising that i haven't planned much. mayb it'd be way easier if i never get married, but what IF i do? will i give up the opportunity to work just to stay at home n take care of my child? for a person as sentimental as myself, i wanna witness every progress my child makes...reading www.karencheng.com.au has opened my eyes to the fact that we should find ways to open doors for ourselves. although karencheng is a stay-at-home-mom, she seems to have fun and leads her life to the fullest. as she's interested in art, she finds ways to improve herself in this industry without feeling that her kids pose as a burden to her.

some people think that kids are a burden to them but the fact is it's the parents' fault that they did not plan carefully before deciding to have kids! *sigh* i dunno...i know i sound like a crazy woman...shall stop right here before people think i'm off in the head.

ok ok, i'd better stop right here before i go on n on n on about my worries about the future.

XOXO,
Me

Psyched!!

Exams are officially over yesterday...and I thank God that He's always with me during the good times and the bad.

Without Him, I would've just given up...

So, what did I do after my exams?

M2 and I went to get bubble tea straightaway! WOOHOO~

Then we met up with E and L for lunch...was a little full on the pearls in the bubble tea, so ended up eating an original spud with butter, cheese and sour cream!

Came back...I had my nap until 7 something (or was it 8?) Had my "dinner" at 9+ pm...so not me.

Anyway, we watched Silence of the Lambs, which is a psychological thriller, and The Ring (japanese version)...Went to bed at 4am =S

Can't believe, on the day I finish my exams, my lifestyle became so unhealthy...oh, not forgetting the part where E and I went down to make something to eat...eating at ungodly hours!!

Gotta pack my things today...hopefully I won't get a headache.

p/s: I'm currently in love with Shayne Ward...<3 *melts in a puddle* XP

Counting down the days...

...till I see your face once again.

By now, J has already arrived in Pg, back to her cozy and comfy home and loving parents.

I'm stuck here, with one last paper to sit for the day after tomorrow but it seems so faraway...

Supposed to be studying about the female reproductive system, hormones and the skin, instead, I'm here blogging!!

Seriously, I feel a bit scared to go home, not knowing if it'd feel the same way before...having spent most of my days here in Australia.

What if there's a gap between us?

Oh well, talking about going home, I still don't have a clue where my plane ticket is!!!!!!!

*panicking* I have this piece of paper with my flight details printed on it...but is that the ticket?? J says I have to print an electronic ticket from the internet...but how?! =S

Laugh at me all you want, this is gonna be my first time flying on my own...I'm so excited seriously!! XD

Can't believe my 1st year of uni has come and gone, just like that...with a blink of an eye!

I feel old...It's alright, according to psychology research, people are only old when they feel old. So, I'm gonna remain young at heart!!!! So what if P thinks I'm childish?! I don't give a damn...lalala~

OK, gotta get my ass to studying...hormones...I even dreamt of hormones =.= *sigh* Study, sit for exams, enjoy and fly home! That's my ultimate goal...

p/s: Reminds me of a song called "That's my goal" by Shayne Ward, winner of X-Factor...super romantic!!! <3

Shayne Ward - That's My Goal
You know where I come from
You know my story
You know why I'm standing here...
Tonight
Please don't go
Don't be in a hurry
I'm here to make it clear
Make it right

Well I know I've acted foolish
But I promise you no more
I've finally found that something
Worth reaching for

I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal

Please don't go
You know that I need you
I can't breathe without you
Live without you
Be without you
Well I know I've acted foolish
But I promise you no more
No more...

I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal

Well I won't stop believing
That we will be living together
So when I say I love you
I mean it forever and ever
ever and ever....

I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
Yes I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal....







XOXO,
Me

Emotional numbing

A is online now...

If it was me a year ago, my heart would've beaten a thousand times faster...

Now, I don't feel a thing...all I wanna know is if he's doing OK.

All I wanna do is to just chat with him once again like old days...

When I was still an inquisitive little kid and he would call me "little girl" teasingly...

Old days...

Too bad I've grown up now and he has his life to lead.

=)

XOXO,
Me

Ain't it funny?

Supposed to be studying psychology, yes.

Instead I chatted with a friend....

Isn't it funny that whenever we have something we don't appreciate it, but when we lose it then we see the value and regret not appreciating it.

Some people search for true love....but what exactly is true love?!

When we think that we've found our true love, it turns out otherwise.

I admit that I can't wait to find my one true love (in human sense), but at the end of the day, God has my life planned out perfectly...therefore I don't have to worry about anything.

My friend, J2, who is seldom single is constantly searching for the one...she said she can't help but feel phobic because of her failed relationships.

Aren't those failed relationships suppose to be lessons learnt?

This whole "love" thing is so complicated for some, but so simple for some...

One of my friends, M, once said...how big is the probability for 2 human beings to actually love each other?

I think it's hard...it's either 1 loves the other first or vice versa.

What's my point of typing this post? I dunno...LOL

It just amuses me how different people view relationships.

Hehehe~ as for me, I'm still stuck in fairytales XP

Gotta get back to studying!!!

XOXO,
Me

I'm alive, people!!

Yo yo yo yo....

hehehehe~ As you can tell by the title and the "opening" of this post, I am an extremely happy girl right now!

Been down with fever for the past 3 days =( It was terrible!!!! >.<

Tuesday afternoon, while studying in my room, I felt a throbbing headache so I went to have a nap, thinking that I must've been too stressed. Considering the fact that I felt nausea the whole day didn't help much as well...Woke up for dinner...had no appetite and my throbbing headache was worse than ever! Couldn't study at all...went to bed with 2 panadols.

Praying that my fever would subside soon so that I could resume my revision, I woke up with utter disappointment. Headache was still there and I felt like vomiting every time I saw food. *SIGH* Honestly my headache was that bad that I can't even remember what happened on Wednesday...

*fast forward*

Slept the whole Thursday...did study a few pages of lymphocytes =S Anyway, Friday morning, I woke up feeling cold even though I was underneath my blanket...which means I haven't recovered from my fever yet...After having my lunch, I felt better. When I got up to wipe myself with warm water, I thought I was OK until I took the bus to the city! I felt like fainting the whole way. The bus was super crowded with high school kids and their loud chattering made my headache worse!! Was hoping I could reach the city sooner so that I could go get the porridge I was craving for since I had fever but the bus kept stopping at bus stops to let passengers on board/alight. Once I stepped foot under the sun @.@ My head was throbbing even harder....Supposed to be the backup singer for OCF that night but I just couldn't do it. Asked E to take my place. As if having fever n throbbing headache is not enough, I had to burn my tongue while eating my porridge!! =S

It's alright...my prayers have been answered...now is all new!! Time to study!!

p/s: Just a super duper short update to let you guys know I'm alive and well!! Don't worry =D

XOXO,
Me

Don't you just find it frustrating...

...when someone who doesn't even know what your nickname means makes assumptions?

Last night, after an encounter with annoying guys who act cool and all in front of their friends, I changed my nickname to:

Ee Lin 依灵 realises that guys are only nice when they're alone with you, they're jerks when they're around their friends

This morning, a primary school guy friend sent me a msg regarding my nickname AND assumed that I fell for a guy but he turned out to be a jerk!! What the....

Anyway, didn't wanna talk much to him either. We used to be the bestest friends. People say a guy and a girl can never be best friends but we did it...until of course he got too caught up into finding a gf and when he eventually did, he "ditched" me. Only came to me when he had problems with his gf...

*sigh* Seriously, best friends won't do that to you. They'll try to keep in touch with u no matter what, through the good times and the bad. That is why, I'm thankful to have my best friends N, JM, YX and KT!! Cause although we may be seas apart, we still try to keep in touch (via msn, e-mail, facebook etc.)

I guess life's like this. When a door closes, another opens. Sometimes I can't help but to look back at the closed door, but they say never frown over something that once made you smile. So...I guess I just have to be glad that happened, it taught me about life.

Hah!! Being a little emo...it's alright!! It's a brand new day...I'm gonna be happy happy happy!!

XOXO,
Me

Exams are coming!!

Woohoo~

I think I'm super happy because I'm gonna submit my last assignment of the semester this Friday!! And then I'll be studying 24/7...hopefully.

After all, I prefer studying to doing assignments.

Been laughing a lot lately, my stomach hurts...lost 1kg too!! Which is a good thing cause my bulging stomach is slowly disappearing...

For don't know what reason, been falling asleep very easily lately too!! I can just sleep the whole day and not wake up...but I know I have to because life is not all about sleeping XD

I hereby promise myself that the afternoon after my last exam paper, I'm coming back home and sleep till the next morning XP

Oh!! Before going back to my real home, gonna go to this Japanese restaurant we've been planning to go to since last semester...hopefully.

Based on the comments my friends left in my last post, I do realize that crying is not a bad thing. Cried again when I called home and heard my mom's voice at the end of the line. Had a fight with her because of some trivial matter...and I was bothered for quite a few days. During praise and worship at OCF last Friday, I kept feeling the urge to call home and tell mom I'm sorry. But I did not call home that night...instead I did the next day. I think that's the 1st time in my life to say I'm sorry. =') I really thank God for touching me inside..I really do. I think He changed me quite a bit. =) Lately, relatives/friends of friends have been passing away and I thought to myself how fortunate I am to have both my parents around. So...it makes my appreciate what I have more.

Ok ok...I'm being long-winded. This is suppose to be a happy post!! ;)

1 more thing to add on to the list of things to do when I get back home - cut my hair

XOXO,
Me

Promise

I hereby promise myself to control my tear glands from now on...I think they're being overactive since I came to Aus.

No more tears from now on...no matter what happens.

This I promise myself!

XOXO,
Me

Dreading...

...tomorrow cause tomorrow's a Friday!

I shall not be afraid...I'm sure the Lord will make my paths straight as long as I put my trust in Him!!

Hopefully, I don't have to see that mean tutor -.-

XOXO,
Me