i've been home for 4 days already...instead of feeling relaxed n happy, i feel worried and troubled.
it made me realise how fast time flies...with a blink of an eye, i'll be out working as a psychologist (hopefully) and it would be the time to make a decision on where i wanna settle down - malaysia or adelaide (or any other part of the world)?
i told myself before that i'll juz accept whatever God brings me to...if i get a husband in adelaide n he wants to stay there, so be it. but what if i'm still single by the time i graduate and i dunno where to settle? family or career? i know that maybe, juz maybe i'll earn more n progress more if i work outside malaysia but my family members are all back home...and they won't live forever. would i wanna risk not seeing them and regret later on?
not only that, seeing the dilemma my cousin sister has to go through got me thinking as well. now that she has a baby, she's in a dilemma if she wants to stay at home to look after her baby or go to work and let her parents bring the baby home to be cared for. personally, i would wanna look after my baby myself but on the other hand, my cousin needs to work as well as they wouldn't be able to afford raising the baby.
i know this sounds crazy...i only finished 1st year of uni and i'm thinking about this. i used to say "i'll graduate first and then i'll see how it goes" but time flies way too fast...before i know it, i'll be graduating and i'll be realising that i haven't planned much. mayb it'd be way easier if i never get married, but what IF i do? will i give up the opportunity to work just to stay at home n take care of my child? for a person as sentimental as myself, i wanna witness every progress my child makes...reading www.karencheng.com.au has opened my eyes to the fact that we should find ways to open doors for ourselves. although karencheng is a stay-at-home-mom, she seems to have fun and leads her life to the fullest. as she's interested in art, she finds ways to improve herself in this industry without feeling that her kids pose as a burden to her.
some people think that kids are a burden to them but the fact is it's the parents' fault that they did not plan carefully before deciding to have kids! *sigh* i dunno...i know i sound like a crazy woman...shall stop right here before people think i'm off in the head.
ok ok, i'd better stop right here before i go on n on n on about my worries about the future.
XOXO,
Me
Friday, November 30, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Psyched!!
Exams are officially over yesterday...and I thank God that He's always with me during the good times and the bad.
Without Him, I would've just given up...
So, what did I do after my exams?
M2 and I went to get bubble tea straightaway! WOOHOO~
Then we met up with E and L for lunch...was a little full on the pearls in the bubble tea, so ended up eating an original spud with butter, cheese and sour cream!
Came back...I had my nap until 7 something (or was it 8?) Had my "dinner" at 9+ pm...so not me.
Anyway, we watched Silence of the Lambs, which is a psychological thriller, and The Ring (japanese version)...Went to bed at 4am =S
Can't believe, on the day I finish my exams, my lifestyle became so unhealthy...oh, not forgetting the part where E and I went down to make something to eat...eating at ungodly hours!!
Gotta pack my things today...hopefully I won't get a headache.
p/s: I'm currently in love with Shayne Ward...<3 *melts in a puddle* XP
Without Him, I would've just given up...
So, what did I do after my exams?
M2 and I went to get bubble tea straightaway! WOOHOO~
Then we met up with E and L for lunch...was a little full on the pearls in the bubble tea, so ended up eating an original spud with butter, cheese and sour cream!
Came back...I had my nap until 7 something (or was it 8?) Had my "dinner" at 9+ pm...so not me.
Anyway, we watched Silence of the Lambs, which is a psychological thriller, and The Ring (japanese version)...Went to bed at 4am =S
Can't believe, on the day I finish my exams, my lifestyle became so unhealthy...oh, not forgetting the part where E and I went down to make something to eat...eating at ungodly hours!!
Gotta pack my things today...hopefully I won't get a headache.
p/s: I'm currently in love with Shayne Ward...<3 *melts in a puddle* XP
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Counting down the days...
...till I see your face once again.
By now, J has already arrived in Pg, back to her cozy and comfy home and loving parents.
I'm stuck here, with one last paper to sit for the day after tomorrow but it seems so faraway...
Supposed to be studying about the female reproductive system, hormones and the skin, instead, I'm here blogging!!
Seriously, I feel a bit scared to go home, not knowing if it'd feel the same way before...having spent most of my days here in Australia.
What if there's a gap between us?
Oh well, talking about going home, I still don't have a clue where my plane ticket is!!!!!!!
*panicking* I have this piece of paper with my flight details printed on it...but is that the ticket?? J says I have to print an electronic ticket from the internet...but how?! =S
Laugh at me all you want, this is gonna be my first time flying on my own...I'm so excited seriously!! XD
Can't believe my 1st year of uni has come and gone, just like that...with a blink of an eye!
I feel old...It's alright, according to psychology research, people are only old when they feel old. So, I'm gonna remain young at heart!!!! So what if P thinks I'm childish?! I don't give a damn...lalala~
OK, gotta get my ass to studying...hormones...I even dreamt of hormones =.= *sigh* Study, sit for exams, enjoy and fly home! That's my ultimate goal...
p/s: Reminds me of a song called "That's my goal" by Shayne Ward, winner of X-Factor...super romantic!!! <3
Shayne Ward - That's My Goal
You know where I come from
You know my story
You know why I'm standing here...
Tonight
Please don't go
Don't be in a hurry
I'm here to make it clear
Make it right
Well I know I've acted foolish
But I promise you no more
I've finally found that something
Worth reaching for
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal
Please don't go
You know that I need you
I can't breathe without you
Live without you
Be without you
Well I know I've acted foolish
But I promise you no more
No more...
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal
Well I won't stop believing
That we will be living together
So when I say I love you
I mean it forever and ever
ever and ever....
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
Yes I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal....
XOXO,
Me
By now, J has already arrived in Pg, back to her cozy and comfy home and loving parents.
I'm stuck here, with one last paper to sit for the day after tomorrow but it seems so faraway...
Supposed to be studying about the female reproductive system, hormones and the skin, instead, I'm here blogging!!
Seriously, I feel a bit scared to go home, not knowing if it'd feel the same way before...having spent most of my days here in Australia.
What if there's a gap between us?
Oh well, talking about going home, I still don't have a clue where my plane ticket is!!!!!!!
*panicking* I have this piece of paper with my flight details printed on it...but is that the ticket?? J says I have to print an electronic ticket from the internet...but how?! =S
Laugh at me all you want, this is gonna be my first time flying on my own...I'm so excited seriously!! XD
Can't believe my 1st year of uni has come and gone, just like that...with a blink of an eye!
I feel old...It's alright, according to psychology research, people are only old when they feel old. So, I'm gonna remain young at heart!!!! So what if P thinks I'm childish?! I don't give a damn...lalala~
OK, gotta get my ass to studying...hormones...I even dreamt of hormones =.= *sigh* Study, sit for exams, enjoy and fly home! That's my ultimate goal...
p/s: Reminds me of a song called "That's my goal" by Shayne Ward, winner of X-Factor...super romantic!!! <3
Shayne Ward - That's My Goal
You know where I come from
You know my story
You know why I'm standing here...
Tonight
Please don't go
Don't be in a hurry
I'm here to make it clear
Make it right
Well I know I've acted foolish
But I promise you no more
I've finally found that something
Worth reaching for
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal
Please don't go
You know that I need you
I can't breathe without you
Live without you
Be without you
Well I know I've acted foolish
But I promise you no more
No more...
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal
Well I won't stop believing
That we will be living together
So when I say I love you
I mean it forever and ever
ever and ever....
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to say I'm sorry
I'm not here to lie to you
I'm here to say I'm ready
That I've finally thought it through
I'm not here to let your love go
I'm not giving up oh no
I'm here to win your heart and soul
Yes I'm here to win your heart and soul
That's my goal....
XOXO,
Me
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Emotional numbing
A is online now...
If it was me a year ago, my heart would've beaten a thousand times faster...
Now, I don't feel a thing...all I wanna know is if he's doing OK.
All I wanna do is to just chat with him once again like old days...
When I was still an inquisitive little kid and he would call me "little girl" teasingly...
Old days...
Too bad I've grown up now and he has his life to lead.
=)
XOXO,
Me
If it was me a year ago, my heart would've beaten a thousand times faster...
Now, I don't feel a thing...all I wanna know is if he's doing OK.
All I wanna do is to just chat with him once again like old days...
When I was still an inquisitive little kid and he would call me "little girl" teasingly...
Old days...
Too bad I've grown up now and he has his life to lead.
=)
XOXO,
Me
Ain't it funny?
Supposed to be studying psychology, yes.
Instead I chatted with a friend....
Isn't it funny that whenever we have something we don't appreciate it, but when we lose it then we see the value and regret not appreciating it.
Some people search for true love....but what exactly is true love?!
When we think that we've found our true love, it turns out otherwise.
I admit that I can't wait to find my one true love (in human sense), but at the end of the day, God has my life planned out perfectly...therefore I don't have to worry about anything.
My friend, J2, who is seldom single is constantly searching for the one...she said she can't help but feel phobic because of her failed relationships.
Aren't those failed relationships suppose to be lessons learnt?
This whole "love" thing is so complicated for some, but so simple for some...
One of my friends, M, once said...how big is the probability for 2 human beings to actually love each other?
I think it's hard...it's either 1 loves the other first or vice versa.
What's my point of typing this post? I dunno...LOL
It just amuses me how different people view relationships.
Hehehe~ as for me, I'm still stuck in fairytales XP
Gotta get back to studying!!!
XOXO,
Me
Instead I chatted with a friend....
Isn't it funny that whenever we have something we don't appreciate it, but when we lose it then we see the value and regret not appreciating it.
Some people search for true love....but what exactly is true love?!
When we think that we've found our true love, it turns out otherwise.
I admit that I can't wait to find my one true love (in human sense), but at the end of the day, God has my life planned out perfectly...therefore I don't have to worry about anything.
My friend, J2, who is seldom single is constantly searching for the one...she said she can't help but feel phobic because of her failed relationships.
Aren't those failed relationships suppose to be lessons learnt?
This whole "love" thing is so complicated for some, but so simple for some...
One of my friends, M, once said...how big is the probability for 2 human beings to actually love each other?
I think it's hard...it's either 1 loves the other first or vice versa.
What's my point of typing this post? I dunno...LOL
It just amuses me how different people view relationships.
Hehehe~ as for me, I'm still stuck in fairytales XP
Gotta get back to studying!!!
XOXO,
Me
Sunday, November 11, 2007
I'm alive, people!!
Yo yo yo yo....
hehehehe~ As you can tell by the title and the "opening" of this post, I am an extremely happy girl right now!
Been down with fever for the past 3 days =( It was terrible!!!! >.<
Tuesday afternoon, while studying in my room, I felt a throbbing headache so I went to have a nap, thinking that I must've been too stressed. Considering the fact that I felt nausea the whole day didn't help much as well...Woke up for dinner...had no appetite and my throbbing headache was worse than ever! Couldn't study at all...went to bed with 2 panadols.
Praying that my fever would subside soon so that I could resume my revision, I woke up with utter disappointment. Headache was still there and I felt like vomiting every time I saw food. *SIGH* Honestly my headache was that bad that I can't even remember what happened on Wednesday...
*fast forward*
Slept the whole Thursday...did study a few pages of lymphocytes =S Anyway, Friday morning, I woke up feeling cold even though I was underneath my blanket...which means I haven't recovered from my fever yet...After having my lunch, I felt better. When I got up to wipe myself with warm water, I thought I was OK until I took the bus to the city! I felt like fainting the whole way. The bus was super crowded with high school kids and their loud chattering made my headache worse!! Was hoping I could reach the city sooner so that I could go get the porridge I was craving for since I had fever but the bus kept stopping at bus stops to let passengers on board/alight. Once I stepped foot under the sun @.@ My head was throbbing even harder....Supposed to be the backup singer for OCF that night but I just couldn't do it. Asked E to take my place. As if having fever n throbbing headache is not enough, I had to burn my tongue while eating my porridge!! =S
It's alright...my prayers have been answered...now is all new!! Time to study!!
p/s: Just a super duper short update to let you guys know I'm alive and well!! Don't worry =D
XOXO,
Me
hehehehe~ As you can tell by the title and the "opening" of this post, I am an extremely happy girl right now!
Been down with fever for the past 3 days =( It was terrible!!!! >.<
Tuesday afternoon, while studying in my room, I felt a throbbing headache so I went to have a nap, thinking that I must've been too stressed. Considering the fact that I felt nausea the whole day didn't help much as well...Woke up for dinner...had no appetite and my throbbing headache was worse than ever! Couldn't study at all...went to bed with 2 panadols.
Praying that my fever would subside soon so that I could resume my revision, I woke up with utter disappointment. Headache was still there and I felt like vomiting every time I saw food. *SIGH* Honestly my headache was that bad that I can't even remember what happened on Wednesday...
*fast forward*
Slept the whole Thursday...did study a few pages of lymphocytes =S Anyway, Friday morning, I woke up feeling cold even though I was underneath my blanket...which means I haven't recovered from my fever yet...After having my lunch, I felt better. When I got up to wipe myself with warm water, I thought I was OK until I took the bus to the city! I felt like fainting the whole way. The bus was super crowded with high school kids and their loud chattering made my headache worse!! Was hoping I could reach the city sooner so that I could go get the porridge I was craving for since I had fever but the bus kept stopping at bus stops to let passengers on board/alight. Once I stepped foot under the sun @.@ My head was throbbing even harder....Supposed to be the backup singer for OCF that night but I just couldn't do it. Asked E to take my place. As if having fever n throbbing headache is not enough, I had to burn my tongue while eating my porridge!! =S
It's alright...my prayers have been answered...now is all new!! Time to study!!
p/s: Just a super duper short update to let you guys know I'm alive and well!! Don't worry =D
XOXO,
Me
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Don't you just find it frustrating...
...when someone who doesn't even know what your nickname means makes assumptions?
Last night, after an encounter with annoying guys who act cool and all in front of their friends, I changed my nickname to:
Ee Lin 依灵 realises that guys are only nice when they're alone with you, they're jerks when they're around their friends
This morning, a primary school guy friend sent me a msg regarding my nickname AND assumed that I fell for a guy but he turned out to be a jerk!! What the....
Anyway, didn't wanna talk much to him either. We used to be the bestest friends. People say a guy and a girl can never be best friends but we did it...until of course he got too caught up into finding a gf and when he eventually did, he "ditched" me. Only came to me when he had problems with his gf...
*sigh* Seriously, best friends won't do that to you. They'll try to keep in touch with u no matter what, through the good times and the bad. That is why, I'm thankful to have my best friends N, JM, YX and KT!! Cause although we may be seas apart, we still try to keep in touch (via msn, e-mail, facebook etc.)
I guess life's like this. When a door closes, another opens. Sometimes I can't help but to look back at the closed door, but they say never frown over something that once made you smile. So...I guess I just have to be glad that happened, it taught me about life.
Hah!! Being a little emo...it's alright!! It's a brand new day...I'm gonna be happy happy happy!!
XOXO,
Me
Last night, after an encounter with annoying guys who act cool and all in front of their friends, I changed my nickname to:
Ee Lin 依灵 realises that guys are only nice when they're alone with you, they're jerks when they're around their friends
This morning, a primary school guy friend sent me a msg regarding my nickname AND assumed that I fell for a guy but he turned out to be a jerk!! What the....
Anyway, didn't wanna talk much to him either. We used to be the bestest friends. People say a guy and a girl can never be best friends but we did it...until of course he got too caught up into finding a gf and when he eventually did, he "ditched" me. Only came to me when he had problems with his gf...
*sigh* Seriously, best friends won't do that to you. They'll try to keep in touch with u no matter what, through the good times and the bad. That is why, I'm thankful to have my best friends N, JM, YX and KT!! Cause although we may be seas apart, we still try to keep in touch (via msn, e-mail, facebook etc.)
I guess life's like this. When a door closes, another opens. Sometimes I can't help but to look back at the closed door, but they say never frown over something that once made you smile. So...I guess I just have to be glad that happened, it taught me about life.
Hah!! Being a little emo...it's alright!! It's a brand new day...I'm gonna be happy happy happy!!
XOXO,
Me
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Exams are coming!!
Woohoo~
I think I'm super happy because I'm gonna submit my last assignment of the semester this Friday!! And then I'll be studying 24/7...hopefully.
After all, I prefer studying to doing assignments.
Been laughing a lot lately, my stomach hurts...lost 1kg too!! Which is a good thing cause my bulging stomach is slowly disappearing...
For don't know what reason, been falling asleep very easily lately too!! I can just sleep the whole day and not wake up...but I know I have to because life is not all about sleeping XD
I hereby promise myself that the afternoon after my last exam paper, I'm coming back home and sleep till the next morning XP
Oh!! Before going back to my real home, gonna go to this Japanese restaurant we've been planning to go to since last semester...hopefully.
Based on the comments my friends left in my last post, I do realize that crying is not a bad thing. Cried again when I called home and heard my mom's voice at the end of the line. Had a fight with her because of some trivial matter...and I was bothered for quite a few days. During praise and worship at OCF last Friday, I kept feeling the urge to call home and tell mom I'm sorry. But I did not call home that night...instead I did the next day. I think that's the 1st time in my life to say I'm sorry. =') I really thank God for touching me inside..I really do. I think He changed me quite a bit. =) Lately, relatives/friends of friends have been passing away and I thought to myself how fortunate I am to have both my parents around. So...it makes my appreciate what I have more.
Ok ok...I'm being long-winded. This is suppose to be a happy post!! ;)
1 more thing to add on to the list of things to do when I get back home - cut my hair
XOXO,
Me
I think I'm super happy because I'm gonna submit my last assignment of the semester this Friday!! And then I'll be studying 24/7...hopefully.
After all, I prefer studying to doing assignments.
Been laughing a lot lately, my stomach hurts...lost 1kg too!! Which is a good thing cause my bulging stomach is slowly disappearing...
For don't know what reason, been falling asleep very easily lately too!! I can just sleep the whole day and not wake up...but I know I have to because life is not all about sleeping XD
I hereby promise myself that the afternoon after my last exam paper, I'm coming back home and sleep till the next morning XP
Oh!! Before going back to my real home, gonna go to this Japanese restaurant we've been planning to go to since last semester...hopefully.
Based on the comments my friends left in my last post, I do realize that crying is not a bad thing. Cried again when I called home and heard my mom's voice at the end of the line. Had a fight with her because of some trivial matter...and I was bothered for quite a few days. During praise and worship at OCF last Friday, I kept feeling the urge to call home and tell mom I'm sorry. But I did not call home that night...instead I did the next day. I think that's the 1st time in my life to say I'm sorry. =') I really thank God for touching me inside..I really do. I think He changed me quite a bit. =) Lately, relatives/friends of friends have been passing away and I thought to myself how fortunate I am to have both my parents around. So...it makes my appreciate what I have more.
Ok ok...I'm being long-winded. This is suppose to be a happy post!! ;)
1 more thing to add on to the list of things to do when I get back home - cut my hair
XOXO,
Me
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Promise
I hereby promise myself to control my tear glands from now on...I think they're being overactive since I came to Aus.
No more tears from now on...no matter what happens.
This I promise myself!
XOXO,
Me
No more tears from now on...no matter what happens.
This I promise myself!
XOXO,
Me
Friday, October 19, 2007
Dreading...
...tomorrow cause tomorrow's a Friday!
I shall not be afraid...I'm sure the Lord will make my paths straight as long as I put my trust in Him!!
Hopefully, I don't have to see that mean tutor -.-
XOXO,
Me
I shall not be afraid...I'm sure the Lord will make my paths straight as long as I put my trust in Him!!
Hopefully, I don't have to see that mean tutor -.-
XOXO,
Me
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Give thanks...
...in any circumstance.
I'm not sure why but Fridays are usually the worst day of my week. On Fridays, I'm messed up, unprepared for the day and everything goes wrong.
It was the same yesterday. I was supposed to sit for Human Physiology quiz yesterday. The night before, I finished off my Psychology essay and started working real hard on studying for my quiz. Woke up early to study as well. I crammed as much information as possible, hoping that I'd not do too bad in the quiz as this is the final quiz of the semester and it's worth 10%!
At around 12pm, my friends came and asked if I wanted to have lunch with them at Chinatown so I said ok since I need to have lunch before my tutorial anyway. Got changed without showering, packed my stuff and out we went to the city!
There was an accident along North Terrace so the bus arrived our stop later than usual. We walked as fast as possible to Chinatown so that we'd get our food soon and I can finish my food early and rush to uni. I gobbled up my food up in 15-20 mins and started walking towards uni. While walking I felt like vomiting the beef noodles I just ate. Anyway, usually my tutor gives some revision on the topic that we're supposed to have our quiz on and then give us the quiz during the last half an hour before tutorial ends. I was so sure!!
The worst thing happened when I reached my tutorial, panting and sweating, being late for 10 minutes. Everyone stared at me in silence and the tutor gave me a weird look. My heart was having a battle inside whether I should say something or go get a seat. So I said, "I'm really sorry I'm late..." whilst walking to a seat. No one moved...everyone was dead still and I thought that I was in deep shit!! That moment, the tutor opened his mouth, saying, "You're short of these" and showing me the quiz papers in his hand. So, I forced my voice out and asked, "Can I have one please?" The tension in class was so intense I felt myself hot all over and wanting to kill myself that very moment. He said, "No" When that word came out from his mouth, my heart was pounding like crazy in my chest, I thought I was gonna suffocate. I thought I heard him wrongly until he repeated the same thing. He said I couldn't take the quiz because everyone else has done and marked it!! The worst thing was when he said, "I'm not sure how long you've been outside studying." What the...?!@#$% He thought I was outside studying?! That very second, I felt my world turning....This can't happen to me!! I rushed all my way from Chinatown right after having my beef noodles, risking having a super bad digestion because I ran and I went there for nothing!!!! I was so embarrassed after how he treated me. Considering the fact that I'm the only Chinese there and I have to experience this kinda shitty thing didn't help at all! No one said anything and they all went, "awwww" I didn't even bother to differentiate whether that "awwww" was a sympathetic one or a sarcastic one. I mumbled, "Oh, ok" and went to take a seat. Thinking that they were still discussing the answers to the quiz, I politely asked the girl next to me if I could have a look at hers. Little did I know, the second I sat down, the tutor went, "OK! You guys can go now!"
ARRGGGHHHH!! It was so frustrating...I went there for 5 minutes and I'm gone!! Sms-ed a few of my Penang friends to tell them what happened (like what I always used to do back home) and called my friends who were still at Charlie's Shack (the beef noodle shop) to meet them up. Briefly told them that I missed my quiz. I was angry at myself for being late...but I was angry at my tutor as well for embarrassing me in front of the whole class!! Where would I put my face after this?! Met up with E and L. Waited at the bus stop in front of Royal Adelaide Hospital (RAH) and when E asked me what exactly happened, I burst out crying halfway. I never felt so devastated in my life. I cried so loudly everyone could hear me...but I just didn't care! I was so angry and anger turned to tears...It was all so comical though, L scolded E for making my cry and E defended herself by saying it wasn't her fault. Imagine this: I was there crying in E's embrace and there they were scolding each other. It was all so funny. This "conversation" took place as well: -
L: Shhh...don't cry already...*looking embarrassed* Everyone's looking...
E: I don't care!! Let her cry...it's better that way...
L: Not you la!! Her!!
E: You think she cares meh?! She cry until like that means she doesn't care la!!
Part of me wanted to laugh but my tears kept pouring out of my eyes like a loose tap. Got on the bus with watery and swollen eyes. Bus was full so we had to stand. Well, P2 was a little shocked to see my cry so he didn't know what to do. LOL E and L2, on the other hand, kept finding ways to cheer me up, with hugs, with words of comfort, you name it, they've done it. The more they comforted me, the more I cried...=') I know it's not the end of the world with that 10% but the thing that made me saddest was how my tutor treated me. How could he say that?! If he just told me that I couldn't take the quiz because I was late then it's fine. I could just take it and suck it in. Instead he said he wasn't sure how long I've been outside studying?! First time in my life, I cried like there's nobody watching. I still remember last semester when I cried and I was waiting at the bus stop with swollen and watery eyes, P came walking towards me. He really made my day. Just seeing him makes me smile again...but not anymore. Seeing him just makes my heart ache. How can 2 people who used to be so close be so distant now? I feel like we're strangers...
So, upon reaching home, I wrapped myself in my blanket, hoping to fall asleep and forget everything that has happened. I did fall asleep...when M2 came knocking on my door after coming back from her class with P. *sigh* Told her my "ordeal" and she was quite sympathetic.
As I was telling her, the memory of everything was fading already. Got up and prepared to catch the bus to the city as I had OCF and L said he wanted to buy me ice cream to cheer me up...=D Felt so bad for making a big deal out of it. Now as I think back, it wasn't anything big, really. After having my dinner and ice cream, everything was fine again. Thanks L!!
While worshiping Him, a sense of peace came over me and I remember that bible verse that says "Give thanks in any circumstance". What L said was true I guess, He wouldn't let this happen unless He wants. Maybe it could be a blessing in disguise. I'll never know...
OH!! The funniest thing happened to me after OCF. Everyone was gone already. G and I stayed back to wait for P to drive us home while E and L went to pass something to P3 at her house. Before E and L left for P3's house, she asked me to finish off the potato chips and to throw it in the dustbin inside the guys' toilet (the nearest) if I don't want it anymore. So, after eating a few chips, I decided to throw it away. G followed me from behind while I opened the door of the guys' toilet. First door...no dustbin....2nd door....OMG! There was a guy standing there dunno-doing-what! Both of us ran out like lightning when that guy turned around and said "What are you doing?!"!! We started laughing hysterically...Fortunately, I did not see anything that I shouldn't have seen!
I knew that guy so it wasn't that bad. He came laughing and asked if it was me. LOL I said oops...yeah...and I just wanted to get to the dustbin, assuring him that I did not see a single thing! He said, "It's ok, I'm sure you didn't see anything" >.<
My "day" (or night) got better, I was laughing and talking like normal. Had G come over my room to talk...and wow! We talked till 3:38am so I went to sleep right after she left and woke up at 12:30pm today, right on time for lunch!! XP
p/s: About P...It's time to do what's best for me, I gotta go my own way. =) 等待竟累积成伤害，爱深埋珊瑚海。 Shall just go with the flow~
XOXO,
Me
I'm not sure why but Fridays are usually the worst day of my week. On Fridays, I'm messed up, unprepared for the day and everything goes wrong.
It was the same yesterday. I was supposed to sit for Human Physiology quiz yesterday. The night before, I finished off my Psychology essay and started working real hard on studying for my quiz. Woke up early to study as well. I crammed as much information as possible, hoping that I'd not do too bad in the quiz as this is the final quiz of the semester and it's worth 10%!
At around 12pm, my friends came and asked if I wanted to have lunch with them at Chinatown so I said ok since I need to have lunch before my tutorial anyway. Got changed without showering, packed my stuff and out we went to the city!
There was an accident along North Terrace so the bus arrived our stop later than usual. We walked as fast as possible to Chinatown so that we'd get our food soon and I can finish my food early and rush to uni. I gobbled up my food up in 15-20 mins and started walking towards uni. While walking I felt like vomiting the beef noodles I just ate. Anyway, usually my tutor gives some revision on the topic that we're supposed to have our quiz on and then give us the quiz during the last half an hour before tutorial ends. I was so sure!!
The worst thing happened when I reached my tutorial, panting and sweating, being late for 10 minutes. Everyone stared at me in silence and the tutor gave me a weird look. My heart was having a battle inside whether I should say something or go get a seat. So I said, "I'm really sorry I'm late..." whilst walking to a seat. No one moved...everyone was dead still and I thought that I was in deep shit!! That moment, the tutor opened his mouth, saying, "You're short of these" and showing me the quiz papers in his hand. So, I forced my voice out and asked, "Can I have one please?" The tension in class was so intense I felt myself hot all over and wanting to kill myself that very moment. He said, "No" When that word came out from his mouth, my heart was pounding like crazy in my chest, I thought I was gonna suffocate. I thought I heard him wrongly until he repeated the same thing. He said I couldn't take the quiz because everyone else has done and marked it!! The worst thing was when he said, "I'm not sure how long you've been outside studying." What the...?!@#$% He thought I was outside studying?! That very second, I felt my world turning....This can't happen to me!! I rushed all my way from Chinatown right after having my beef noodles, risking having a super bad digestion because I ran and I went there for nothing!!!! I was so embarrassed after how he treated me. Considering the fact that I'm the only Chinese there and I have to experience this kinda shitty thing didn't help at all! No one said anything and they all went, "awwww" I didn't even bother to differentiate whether that "awwww" was a sympathetic one or a sarcastic one. I mumbled, "Oh, ok" and went to take a seat. Thinking that they were still discussing the answers to the quiz, I politely asked the girl next to me if I could have a look at hers. Little did I know, the second I sat down, the tutor went, "OK! You guys can go now!"
ARRGGGHHHH!! It was so frustrating...I went there for 5 minutes and I'm gone!! Sms-ed a few of my Penang friends to tell them what happened (like what I always used to do back home) and called my friends who were still at Charlie's Shack (the beef noodle shop) to meet them up. Briefly told them that I missed my quiz. I was angry at myself for being late...but I was angry at my tutor as well for embarrassing me in front of the whole class!! Where would I put my face after this?! Met up with E and L. Waited at the bus stop in front of Royal Adelaide Hospital (RAH) and when E asked me what exactly happened, I burst out crying halfway. I never felt so devastated in my life. I cried so loudly everyone could hear me...but I just didn't care! I was so angry and anger turned to tears...It was all so comical though, L scolded E for making my cry and E defended herself by saying it wasn't her fault. Imagine this: I was there crying in E's embrace and there they were scolding each other. It was all so funny. This "conversation" took place as well: -
L: Shhh...don't cry already...*looking embarrassed* Everyone's looking...
E: I don't care!! Let her cry...it's better that way...
L: Not you la!! Her!!
E: You think she cares meh?! She cry until like that means she doesn't care la!!
Part of me wanted to laugh but my tears kept pouring out of my eyes like a loose tap. Got on the bus with watery and swollen eyes. Bus was full so we had to stand. Well, P2 was a little shocked to see my cry so he didn't know what to do. LOL E and L2, on the other hand, kept finding ways to cheer me up, with hugs, with words of comfort, you name it, they've done it. The more they comforted me, the more I cried...=') I know it's not the end of the world with that 10% but the thing that made me saddest was how my tutor treated me. How could he say that?! If he just told me that I couldn't take the quiz because I was late then it's fine. I could just take it and suck it in. Instead he said he wasn't sure how long I've been outside studying?! First time in my life, I cried like there's nobody watching. I still remember last semester when I cried and I was waiting at the bus stop with swollen and watery eyes, P came walking towards me. He really made my day. Just seeing him makes me smile again...but not anymore. Seeing him just makes my heart ache. How can 2 people who used to be so close be so distant now? I feel like we're strangers...
So, upon reaching home, I wrapped myself in my blanket, hoping to fall asleep and forget everything that has happened. I did fall asleep...when M2 came knocking on my door after coming back from her class with P. *sigh* Told her my "ordeal" and she was quite sympathetic.
As I was telling her, the memory of everything was fading already. Got up and prepared to catch the bus to the city as I had OCF and L said he wanted to buy me ice cream to cheer me up...=D Felt so bad for making a big deal out of it. Now as I think back, it wasn't anything big, really. After having my dinner and ice cream, everything was fine again. Thanks L!!
While worshiping Him, a sense of peace came over me and I remember that bible verse that says "Give thanks in any circumstance". What L said was true I guess, He wouldn't let this happen unless He wants. Maybe it could be a blessing in disguise. I'll never know...
OH!! The funniest thing happened to me after OCF. Everyone was gone already. G and I stayed back to wait for P to drive us home while E and L went to pass something to P3 at her house. Before E and L left for P3's house, she asked me to finish off the potato chips and to throw it in the dustbin inside the guys' toilet (the nearest) if I don't want it anymore. So, after eating a few chips, I decided to throw it away. G followed me from behind while I opened the door of the guys' toilet. First door...no dustbin....2nd door....OMG! There was a guy standing there dunno-doing-what! Both of us ran out like lightning when that guy turned around and said "What are you doing?!"!! We started laughing hysterically...Fortunately, I did not see anything that I shouldn't have seen!
I knew that guy so it wasn't that bad. He came laughing and asked if it was me. LOL I said oops...yeah...and I just wanted to get to the dustbin, assuring him that I did not see a single thing! He said, "It's ok, I'm sure you didn't see anything" >.<
My "day" (or night) got better, I was laughing and talking like normal. Had G come over my room to talk...and wow! We talked till 3:38am so I went to sleep right after she left and woke up at 12:30pm today, right on time for lunch!! XP
p/s: About P...It's time to do what's best for me, I gotta go my own way. =) 等待竟累积成伤害，爱深埋珊瑚海。 Shall just go with the flow~
XOXO,
Me
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
A different path
Walked back from uni today...while walking I felt like taking a different route back.
And I must say, I did not regret taking a different route...the scenery was breathtaking...LOL maybe I'm exaggerating a little cause obviously there are other sceneries in the world that are more breathtaking but anyway, the flowers...different species of flowers all bloom in their fullest and I just can't help but think how amazing it is...God's creation!!
The other thing is that if I had never taken that route, I would never know there are better things in store for me...I wonder if this applies to P...
Oh yeah, not forgetting I got approached by 2 men from The Church of Jesus Christ of the latter days. They were spreading this gospel called Mormon. I've heard of it before but I never knew what it is about so I stood there "listening" (kinda felt sleepy after a while) and then they gave me 2 books of Mormon - 1 in English and 1 in Chinese. o.O
Okkkaaayyy...
XOXO,
Me
And I must say, I did not regret taking a different route...the scenery was breathtaking...LOL maybe I'm exaggerating a little cause obviously there are other sceneries in the world that are more breathtaking but anyway, the flowers...different species of flowers all bloom in their fullest and I just can't help but think how amazing it is...God's creation!!
The other thing is that if I had never taken that route, I would never know there are better things in store for me...I wonder if this applies to P...
Oh yeah, not forgetting I got approached by 2 men from The Church of Jesus Christ of the latter days. They were spreading this gospel called Mormon. I've heard of it before but I never knew what it is about so I stood there "listening" (kinda felt sleepy after a while) and then they gave me 2 books of Mormon - 1 in English and 1 in Chinese. o.O
Okkkaaayyy...
XOXO,
Me
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Eventful week
Phew~ Time really does fly. A week has come and gone after my semester break!
So, what happened during the past week?
Well, let's start from Monday. Monday evening after dinner, I decided to prepare myself for uni so I flipped through my course information and to my horror, I found out that the assignment for Religions of the Ancient World is due on the 6th of October, which is 5 days from then!! I searched frantically for the books I needed on the online library catalogue and all the books I needed were on loan or on loan and requested! o.O What could I do right? All I could do was to request for all the books needed so that when the borrower returns them, I'll get them. Anyway, as easily stressed as I was, I consulted a friend who took this subject last year about what I should do. She said I could just tell the course coordinator the truth that all the books are on loan and I'm still waiting in line so that he could give me an extension. So I did what she said.
Went for Psychology lecture on Tuesday morning, I guess I slept late the night before (1am), or it could be the boring lecture, I was nodding off in class!! Tried so hard to keep my eyes opened but to no avail. -.- Managed to write some stuff down though. Considering the fact that I was so sleepy, I rushed back home to sleep for an hour and got up for lunch in time. After lunch, I prepared for my group presentation for Rhetoric and Reasons: Persuading People. As 'everyone' knows that I'm quite thrifty and that I'm saving money this semester cause I'm realised that I've been spending too much on unnecessary stuff, I walked to uni at 3:30pm. It was only when I reached uni, panic started to overwhelm me...I HATE presentations!!!! I always speak ok when I'm practising but when it comes to the real thing, my voice will shake and I'll start to stare at the ceiling and shift weights on each leg. Oh well...it's over.
On Wednesday, after my Psychology lecture (I didn't sleep in class!! In fact I found it very interesting XD) I took the bus to the city as I have books to collect at the UniSA City East campus and the State Library and at the same time return the novels I borrowed during semester break. While waiting for the bus, I embarrassed myself -.- I was listening to music on my mobile using earphones. Usually I'll sing along to the songs I listen to but that day I just mouthed the words as I didn't want to sing out loud. That was when I embarrassed myself when the bridge of Because You Live (by Jesse McCartney) came on. Normally, bridges have a higher pitch and the background music would be more energetic so I got so high, I started singing but because I got earphones on, I couldn't hear myself. I THINK I made a high-pitched squeak cause 2 persons standing in front of me turned around and gave me a really weird look. 1 of them even had his earphones on as well. =S ARRGGGHHHHH!! All I did was pretend that I didn't know and was mouthing the lyrics away. Oh, I got my course coordinator's e-mail that day saying "Extension is fine" one sentence!
Thursday came, started to get really stressed because of the assignment and the course coordinator's reply did not help much. Extension is fine!? When's the due date?! I started that assignment that night, hoping to finish it as soon as possible even though I had an extension as I'll be having a Psychology essay due next Friday. Did not want both assignments clashing together. On the bus on the way to Mawson Lakes campus, I decided to listen to some songs to keep me awake so I plugged in the earphones. I was curious on why the music sounded so soft so I turned on the volume to max and still it was soft so I thought it was because of my bus. The man who was talking on the phone suddenly turned around and gave me this weird (or annoyed?) look. I thought he could hear my music from my earphones so I ignored him when my friend, A2 tapped my shoulder from behind and asked, "Why you turn on your..." I didn't even wait for him to finish, I plugged in the earphones properly and the music came booming in my ears! =.= The music was playing through the speakers!! No wonder that man looked at me!! Oh my goodness...What's with me and earphones!? Anyway, earlier in the day M said she was going to the post office so I asked her to help me get a postage paid envelope to post the invoice and receipt I got from seeing the GP (to claim $$$). While doing my assignment, I looked through the assignment feedback form and saw that I needed to insert this footer on every page. I wanted the footer thingy to be fixed but I didn't know how to do it so I asked around but nobody seemed to get what I meant!! Finally I gave up and went back to my room to resume my assignment. *KNOCK KNOCK* It was M!! She made my day man!! Right after I asked her about the footer thingy, she got it immediately!! Woohoo~ Then I realised I forgot to get the envelope from her. I was damn happy after getting the envelope for her, thinking to myself that I finally get to claim back the AUD46.10 I paid!! And whad'ya know?! I came back searching for the invoice and receipt but I couldn't find it anywhere in my room!! I was sooo sure it was lying on my table next to the telephone!! Oh NO!! I must've left it between the pages of the novel I returned to the State Library!! *smacks forehead* How could I be so careless?!?! This made me even more stressed!! Searched the State Library telephone number on the internet. Gotta call them first thing in the morning!!
Didn't have a good sleep on Thursday night...had a really weird dream! I had a dream that M2 was in high school with me and we took wedding pictures with the guys in our class. In the dream, I was comparing wedding pictures with M2 and she was actually very pretty in her wedding picture!! Called the State Library on Friday morning and the lady who answered my call said that they must've chucked it into the bin or something. I was devastated...$$$!! Skipped Human Physiology lecture as everything taught is in the book anyway. Called my parents to tell them about the invoice and receipt, at the same time asking them how they're doing. Hearing their voices just made me calmer and it reminded me to change my flight!! My dad said about the invoice and receipt I could just get another copy from the GP. Haha...so out I went to the city, first I went to Singapore Airlines to change my flight. As I finish my exams on the 21st of November, I wanted a flight 2 or 3 days after that day so that I'd have time to pack my stuff and spend some time with my friends here before going home. In the end I settled for 25th of Nov, which is on a Sunday, so that my dad could fetch me from the airport that night as he finishes work early. So happy after changing my flight, knowing that I'll be going home soon!! Totally forgetting about the invoice and receipt, I headed to the State Library to borrow my requested books. While searching for the books on the shelves, I spotted a book at the corner of my eye!! O.O It was the book I returned!! I flipped through the pages and there it was!! Sitting nicely between the pages, untouched! WOOHOO~ I thanked God that very moment! Miracles do happen! Then, it was lunchtime but I didn't know who to have lunch with, so I sat down on the bench at Rundle Mall, going through contacts on my mobile. In the end I bought McD and had it at J's place. It was a short time, but I had fun spending time with her. Too bad we can't go home together...it's alright...we've planned what to do when we get back!! Be afraid Penang...be very afraid....XD
XOXO,
Me
So, what happened during the past week?
Well, let's start from Monday. Monday evening after dinner, I decided to prepare myself for uni so I flipped through my course information and to my horror, I found out that the assignment for Religions of the Ancient World is due on the 6th of October, which is 5 days from then!! I searched frantically for the books I needed on the online library catalogue and all the books I needed were on loan or on loan and requested! o.O What could I do right? All I could do was to request for all the books needed so that when the borrower returns them, I'll get them. Anyway, as easily stressed as I was, I consulted a friend who took this subject last year about what I should do. She said I could just tell the course coordinator the truth that all the books are on loan and I'm still waiting in line so that he could give me an extension. So I did what she said.
Went for Psychology lecture on Tuesday morning, I guess I slept late the night before (1am), or it could be the boring lecture, I was nodding off in class!! Tried so hard to keep my eyes opened but to no avail. -.- Managed to write some stuff down though. Considering the fact that I was so sleepy, I rushed back home to sleep for an hour and got up for lunch in time. After lunch, I prepared for my group presentation for Rhetoric and Reasons: Persuading People. As 'everyone' knows that I'm quite thrifty and that I'm saving money this semester cause I'm realised that I've been spending too much on unnecessary stuff, I walked to uni at 3:30pm. It was only when I reached uni, panic started to overwhelm me...I HATE presentations!!!! I always speak ok when I'm practising but when it comes to the real thing, my voice will shake and I'll start to stare at the ceiling and shift weights on each leg. Oh well...it's over.
On Wednesday, after my Psychology lecture (I didn't sleep in class!! In fact I found it very interesting XD) I took the bus to the city as I have books to collect at the UniSA City East campus and the State Library and at the same time return the novels I borrowed during semester break. While waiting for the bus, I embarrassed myself -.- I was listening to music on my mobile using earphones. Usually I'll sing along to the songs I listen to but that day I just mouthed the words as I didn't want to sing out loud. That was when I embarrassed myself when the bridge of Because You Live (by Jesse McCartney) came on. Normally, bridges have a higher pitch and the background music would be more energetic so I got so high, I started singing but because I got earphones on, I couldn't hear myself. I THINK I made a high-pitched squeak cause 2 persons standing in front of me turned around and gave me a really weird look. 1 of them even had his earphones on as well. =S ARRGGGHHHHH!! All I did was pretend that I didn't know and was mouthing the lyrics away. Oh, I got my course coordinator's e-mail that day saying "Extension is fine" one sentence!
Thursday came, started to get really stressed because of the assignment and the course coordinator's reply did not help much. Extension is fine!? When's the due date?! I started that assignment that night, hoping to finish it as soon as possible even though I had an extension as I'll be having a Psychology essay due next Friday. Did not want both assignments clashing together. On the bus on the way to Mawson Lakes campus, I decided to listen to some songs to keep me awake so I plugged in the earphones. I was curious on why the music sounded so soft so I turned on the volume to max and still it was soft so I thought it was because of my bus. The man who was talking on the phone suddenly turned around and gave me this weird (or annoyed?) look. I thought he could hear my music from my earphones so I ignored him when my friend, A2 tapped my shoulder from behind and asked, "Why you turn on your..." I didn't even wait for him to finish, I plugged in the earphones properly and the music came booming in my ears! =.= The music was playing through the speakers!! No wonder that man looked at me!! Oh my goodness...What's with me and earphones!? Anyway, earlier in the day M said she was going to the post office so I asked her to help me get a postage paid envelope to post the invoice and receipt I got from seeing the GP (to claim $$$). While doing my assignment, I looked through the assignment feedback form and saw that I needed to insert this footer on every page. I wanted the footer thingy to be fixed but I didn't know how to do it so I asked around but nobody seemed to get what I meant!! Finally I gave up and went back to my room to resume my assignment. *KNOCK KNOCK* It was M!! She made my day man!! Right after I asked her about the footer thingy, she got it immediately!! Woohoo~ Then I realised I forgot to get the envelope from her. I was damn happy after getting the envelope for her, thinking to myself that I finally get to claim back the AUD46.10 I paid!! And whad'ya know?! I came back searching for the invoice and receipt but I couldn't find it anywhere in my room!! I was sooo sure it was lying on my table next to the telephone!! Oh NO!! I must've left it between the pages of the novel I returned to the State Library!! *smacks forehead* How could I be so careless?!?! This made me even more stressed!! Searched the State Library telephone number on the internet. Gotta call them first thing in the morning!!
Didn't have a good sleep on Thursday night...had a really weird dream! I had a dream that M2 was in high school with me and we took wedding pictures with the guys in our class. In the dream, I was comparing wedding pictures with M2 and she was actually very pretty in her wedding picture!! Called the State Library on Friday morning and the lady who answered my call said that they must've chucked it into the bin or something. I was devastated...$$$!! Skipped Human Physiology lecture as everything taught is in the book anyway. Called my parents to tell them about the invoice and receipt, at the same time asking them how they're doing. Hearing their voices just made me calmer and it reminded me to change my flight!! My dad said about the invoice and receipt I could just get another copy from the GP. Haha...so out I went to the city, first I went to Singapore Airlines to change my flight. As I finish my exams on the 21st of November, I wanted a flight 2 or 3 days after that day so that I'd have time to pack my stuff and spend some time with my friends here before going home. In the end I settled for 25th of Nov, which is on a Sunday, so that my dad could fetch me from the airport that night as he finishes work early. So happy after changing my flight, knowing that I'll be going home soon!! Totally forgetting about the invoice and receipt, I headed to the State Library to borrow my requested books. While searching for the books on the shelves, I spotted a book at the corner of my eye!! O.O It was the book I returned!! I flipped through the pages and there it was!! Sitting nicely between the pages, untouched! WOOHOO~ I thanked God that very moment! Miracles do happen! Then, it was lunchtime but I didn't know who to have lunch with, so I sat down on the bench at Rundle Mall, going through contacts on my mobile. In the end I bought McD and had it at J's place. It was a short time, but I had fun spending time with her. Too bad we can't go home together...it's alright...we've planned what to do when we get back!! Be afraid Penang...be very afraid....XD
XOXO,
Me
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Pervertic god
While reading the readings for Religions of the Ancient World, I came across this paragraph:
Zeus to Hera (his wife):
Let us lie together and turn to love making, for never yet has desire for goddess or woman so filled my heart inside me and overwhelmed it, not even when I loved the wife of Ixion, who bore Perithoos, a councilor equal to the gods, nor when I bedded Danae, the lovely-ankled daughter of Akrisione, who bore Perseus, glorious among all men, nor when I fell in love with the daughter of far-renowned Phoenix, who bore Minos and godlike Rhadamanthys, nor when I loved Semele or Alkmene in Thebes; the latter bore me the strong-hearted Heracles, but Semele bore Dionysus, who gives pleasure to men; nor when I loved queenly Demeter of the lovely hair, nor when my choice was glorious Leto, nor even yourself. So now do I desire you and sweet passion has seized me.
=.= Ooookkkaaayyy...*speechless*
XOXO,
Me
Zeus to Hera (his wife):
Let us lie together and turn to love making, for never yet has desire for goddess or woman so filled my heart inside me and overwhelmed it, not even when I loved the wife of Ixion, who bore Perithoos, a councilor equal to the gods, nor when I bedded Danae, the lovely-ankled daughter of Akrisione, who bore Perseus, glorious among all men, nor when I fell in love with the daughter of far-renowned Phoenix, who bore Minos and godlike Rhadamanthys, nor when I loved Semele or Alkmene in Thebes; the latter bore me the strong-hearted Heracles, but Semele bore Dionysus, who gives pleasure to men; nor when I loved queenly Demeter of the lovely hair, nor when my choice was glorious Leto, nor even yourself. So now do I desire you and sweet passion has seized me.
=.= Ooookkkaaayyy...*speechless*
XOXO,
Me
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
It's over
Phew~ my presentation for Rhetoric and Reasoning is over!!
I think I did really really bad. I was soooo nervous I kept looking at the ceiling and my voice was super shaky...I even started to shake my leg!! >.< This is really bad....Got so depressed I went out for dinner with my friends.
But....
after this dinner, I'm not gonna touch pasta ever again...at least not for now =S Feel like puking...the pasta was too filling and too salty...*gags*
Finishing the novel I borrowed from the state library beginning of holidays. It's about this shopaholic who is married and when she came back from her 10-month honeymoon, she found out that she has a half-sister. The title is Shopaholic and Sister. So...yeah. While reading it, her best friend was mentioned and when she came back from her honeymoon, she discovered that her best friend has already found a new best friend...not exactly, but her best friend is not as close to her as before already. As I read that, I started to think about my own friends. What if we all have different best friends already? What if I go home and we're not able to talk like before already? What if we don't click anymore?
I'm a wreck now...seriously. I'm dying to go back home but at the same time worried that I'm not able to fit into the place where I was born and grew up. =S
I'm scared that our promises to "be friends till we grow old", "be best friends no matter what" or "be friends till our kids get married to each other" will mean nothing anymore. I know I sound like I'm crazy, but since high school, I've always thought of having all my close friends to attend my wedding ceremony. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~
Sometimes I sit and think, how amazing it is that everyone has at least 1 friend that can relate to. No matter how bad a person is, I'm sure he/she will have at least 1 close friend. Without friends, I don't think we can all survive in this world. We were made to live in a community. In standard 4, I was a super bitchy person. Come to think of it, I'm quite ashamed of what I did. The past is the past...it's time to look forward. It's time for a confession...
I used to look down on this girl in standard 4, I didn't like her and I always excluded her from our conversations and I'd make fun of her. I was really really bad. I had a really bad temper then too!! I do have my tempers but it's wayyy better than the last time. Imagine I was that bad already, but I had a best friend who was the total opposite from me. She was quiet, has a good temper and was and still is very forgiving. Not sure if I was lucky or it was a blessing from God, she stood by me through primary school years until high school. We hung out together lesser after form 2 cause we were in different classes and the company we had was different.
Anyway, I guess she influenced me in a way. Through the years, I controlled my temper and I think I changed drastically!! In form 4 I think, she asked me out one day. We were reminiscing about old times and she said I've changed alot!! She said I've changed to become a better person...some one who is not so bad tempered. I was actually encouraged by that. I guess I'm really blessed with good friends. Many of my friends have said things that really encouraged me. Hmmm~ I have a really good idea!! Shall buy a pretty book and write down the stuff my friends have said to me that is encouraging...that way I'll not forget when I grow old XP
It's true what all my high school teachers have said. They said that the friendship we have in high school is the purest, most sincere and real. Now that I'm staying in a hostel, there'll be occasional back-stabbing and gossiping. It's quite scary at times but I think this is what you call "the world". True friends in high school tell you stuff straight in the face. We may feel offended or angry but the most we'd do is not talk to each other for maybe a day or two and we're friends once again, knowing that you're able to be honest with each other.
Another thing that has been bothering me for a while is appearance. I have no problem with my appearance whatsoever. In fact, I don't feel that I need to change anything until I came here. People keep making remarks about my appearance. They say I should wax my legs, pluck my eyebrows, dress up, pluck the hair above my lips (they call it my mustache) and wear contact lenses. Seriously for my whole 19 years of life, I never thought of changing how I look. Grew up with my cousins who don't really dress up or care about their appearance. Not that they're sloppy or whatever though. They just do stuff like plucking eyebrows or waxing hairs off legs stuff like that. My family and relatives made me feel like I'm the most beautiful thing even without doing the stuff other teenage girls do.
I still don't get it though, why wax our legs? =S It's just hair. Everyone has it. Who came up with the idea that smooth legs are nice? Do people last time do that as well? We are all born with hair on our legs. If you're talking about armpit hair then I understand cause it looks hideous with sleeveless tops and the hair doesn't capture heat when we're cold. Waxing our legs is just so troublesome, you have to was it everytime the hair grows back =.= Just like eyebrows. Why pluck it when you know you have to do that for the rest of your lives? I'd just pluck it for occasions, such as my wedding? LOL or for special functions? Being a girl is so hard. People come up with this image of how a girl should look because of advertisements and stuff. *sigh* And dressing up...dressing up is also so troublesome. I see my friends (sorry if you're one of them) standing in front of the cupboard, thinking of what to wear...omg...I can never do that!! I'd just rather be simple and the most important of all is I have to feel comfortable in what I wear!! That's my main motto on clothes, man!! I wouldn't wanna wear heels and feel uncomfortable walking. Worse, if I have to run after the bus, I wouldn't wanna run in heels!! No way!! I'd just rather kill myself.
I see some people wearing skimpy outfits in a cold weather and I think "why do girls torture themselves like that?" That's the price for looking nice? Freeze yourself? I can never do that. Salute to the girls out there. Sometimes I see girls wearing super high heels out shopping and I'm thankful I'm wearing sports shoes. They're the most comfortable shoes anyone can own. =P Sometimes I think if God made a mistake in my gender cause I'm so anti-girlish. But then again, God never makes mistakes, so I guess I'm just "unique". Don't misunderstand though, I'm not criticizing the girls out there, I'm just stating our differences and voicing out my thoughts. =)
Oops~ Enough of digressing.
XOXO,
Me
I think I did really really bad. I was soooo nervous I kept looking at the ceiling and my voice was super shaky...I even started to shake my leg!! >.< This is really bad....Got so depressed I went out for dinner with my friends.
But....
after this dinner, I'm not gonna touch pasta ever again...at least not for now =S Feel like puking...the pasta was too filling and too salty...*gags*
Finishing the novel I borrowed from the state library beginning of holidays. It's about this shopaholic who is married and when she came back from her 10-month honeymoon, she found out that she has a half-sister. The title is Shopaholic and Sister. So...yeah. While reading it, her best friend was mentioned and when she came back from her honeymoon, she discovered that her best friend has already found a new best friend...not exactly, but her best friend is not as close to her as before already. As I read that, I started to think about my own friends. What if we all have different best friends already? What if I go home and we're not able to talk like before already? What if we don't click anymore?
I'm a wreck now...seriously. I'm dying to go back home but at the same time worried that I'm not able to fit into the place where I was born and grew up. =S
I'm scared that our promises to "be friends till we grow old", "be best friends no matter what" or "be friends till our kids get married to each other" will mean nothing anymore. I know I sound like I'm crazy, but since high school, I've always thought of having all my close friends to attend my wedding ceremony. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~
Sometimes I sit and think, how amazing it is that everyone has at least 1 friend that can relate to. No matter how bad a person is, I'm sure he/she will have at least 1 close friend. Without friends, I don't think we can all survive in this world. We were made to live in a community. In standard 4, I was a super bitchy person. Come to think of it, I'm quite ashamed of what I did. The past is the past...it's time to look forward. It's time for a confession...
I used to look down on this girl in standard 4, I didn't like her and I always excluded her from our conversations and I'd make fun of her. I was really really bad. I had a really bad temper then too!! I do have my tempers but it's wayyy better than the last time. Imagine I was that bad already, but I had a best friend who was the total opposite from me. She was quiet, has a good temper and was and still is very forgiving. Not sure if I was lucky or it was a blessing from God, she stood by me through primary school years until high school. We hung out together lesser after form 2 cause we were in different classes and the company we had was different.
Anyway, I guess she influenced me in a way. Through the years, I controlled my temper and I think I changed drastically!! In form 4 I think, she asked me out one day. We were reminiscing about old times and she said I've changed alot!! She said I've changed to become a better person...some one who is not so bad tempered. I was actually encouraged by that. I guess I'm really blessed with good friends. Many of my friends have said things that really encouraged me. Hmmm~ I have a really good idea!! Shall buy a pretty book and write down the stuff my friends have said to me that is encouraging...that way I'll not forget when I grow old XP
It's true what all my high school teachers have said. They said that the friendship we have in high school is the purest, most sincere and real. Now that I'm staying in a hostel, there'll be occasional back-stabbing and gossiping. It's quite scary at times but I think this is what you call "the world". True friends in high school tell you stuff straight in the face. We may feel offended or angry but the most we'd do is not talk to each other for maybe a day or two and we're friends once again, knowing that you're able to be honest with each other.
Another thing that has been bothering me for a while is appearance. I have no problem with my appearance whatsoever. In fact, I don't feel that I need to change anything until I came here. People keep making remarks about my appearance. They say I should wax my legs, pluck my eyebrows, dress up, pluck the hair above my lips (they call it my mustache) and wear contact lenses. Seriously for my whole 19 years of life, I never thought of changing how I look. Grew up with my cousins who don't really dress up or care about their appearance. Not that they're sloppy or whatever though. They just do stuff like plucking eyebrows or waxing hairs off legs stuff like that. My family and relatives made me feel like I'm the most beautiful thing even without doing the stuff other teenage girls do.
I still don't get it though, why wax our legs? =S It's just hair. Everyone has it. Who came up with the idea that smooth legs are nice? Do people last time do that as well? We are all born with hair on our legs. If you're talking about armpit hair then I understand cause it looks hideous with sleeveless tops and the hair doesn't capture heat when we're cold. Waxing our legs is just so troublesome, you have to was it everytime the hair grows back =.= Just like eyebrows. Why pluck it when you know you have to do that for the rest of your lives? I'd just pluck it for occasions, such as my wedding? LOL or for special functions? Being a girl is so hard. People come up with this image of how a girl should look because of advertisements and stuff. *sigh* And dressing up...dressing up is also so troublesome. I see my friends (sorry if you're one of them) standing in front of the cupboard, thinking of what to wear...omg...I can never do that!! I'd just rather be simple and the most important of all is I have to feel comfortable in what I wear!! That's my main motto on clothes, man!! I wouldn't wanna wear heels and feel uncomfortable walking. Worse, if I have to run after the bus, I wouldn't wanna run in heels!! No way!! I'd just rather kill myself.
I see some people wearing skimpy outfits in a cold weather and I think "why do girls torture themselves like that?" That's the price for looking nice? Freeze yourself? I can never do that. Salute to the girls out there. Sometimes I see girls wearing super high heels out shopping and I'm thankful I'm wearing sports shoes. They're the most comfortable shoes anyone can own. =P Sometimes I think if God made a mistake in my gender cause I'm so anti-girlish. But then again, God never makes mistakes, so I guess I'm just "unique". Don't misunderstand though, I'm not criticizing the girls out there, I'm just stating our differences and voicing out my thoughts. =)
Oops~ Enough of digressing.
XOXO,
Me
o.O
HELP!!!! In an hour's time I'll be having a group presentation!!
I'm scared shitless...which is true literally.
When I get nervous, I always have a slight stomach ache and end up feeling like shitting >.<
I hate presentations...be it group or individual.
Talking about shitting, something funny happened to me last Friday.
I was rushing to catch the bus so I changed without peeing and shitting and thought I could pee and shit later in the day.
After pulling up my jeans, I realised I couldn't zip at all!! So I thought, "Man!! Time to pee and shit!!" I ran to the toilet, peed and shat...and little did I know...wow! I could zip and button my jeans! XP
XOXO,
Me
I'm scared shitless...which is true literally.
When I get nervous, I always have a slight stomach ache and end up feeling like shitting >.<
I hate presentations...be it group or individual.
Talking about shitting, something funny happened to me last Friday.
I was rushing to catch the bus so I changed without peeing and shitting and thought I could pee and shit later in the day.
After pulling up my jeans, I realised I couldn't zip at all!! So I thought, "Man!! Time to pee and shit!!" I ran to the toilet, peed and shat...and little did I know...wow! I could zip and button my jeans! XP
XOXO,
Me
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Secret
We uni students were supposed to have classes starting today but because it's Labour Day, we get to sleep in =P
As usual, I woke up and went down to the dining hall to have my breakfast. Surprisingly, there were boiled eggs for breakfast!! So as happy as I was, I had toased bread with butter and egg mixed with mayonnaise. Yum Yum!! While eating halfway, my "neighbour" C came down to have her breakfast as well so we ended up eating and talking at the same time. Out of the blue, she asked me if I wanted to watch Secret (a movie starring and directed by Jay Chou) with her. Considering the fact that I've always wanted to watch that movie and I had nothing to do at that moment I said yes.
The movie was totally out of expectations!! It seemed that it was just another boring high school love story but little did we know, there was a major twist in the middle!! O.O My hair actually stood on ends when we found out what the story was actually about!!
I'm still speechless after watching it....so....extraordinary!! I thought it was quite depressing in the end...but at least they had a happy ending.
XOXO,
Me
As usual, I woke up and went down to the dining hall to have my breakfast. Surprisingly, there were boiled eggs for breakfast!! So as happy as I was, I had toased bread with butter and egg mixed with mayonnaise. Yum Yum!! While eating halfway, my "neighbour" C came down to have her breakfast as well so we ended up eating and talking at the same time. Out of the blue, she asked me if I wanted to watch Secret (a movie starring and directed by Jay Chou) with her. Considering the fact that I've always wanted to watch that movie and I had nothing to do at that moment I said yes.
The movie was totally out of expectations!! It seemed that it was just another boring high school love story but little did we know, there was a major twist in the middle!! O.O My hair actually stood on ends when we found out what the story was actually about!!
I'm still speechless after watching it....so....extraordinary!! I thought it was quite depressing in the end...but at least they had a happy ending.
XOXO,
Me
Monday, October 01, 2007
What should I do?
*SIGH* Been online the whole night chatting, listening to music, and trying to finish my slide for the presentation next Tuesday.
Can't help but to click on my Windows Live Messenger contact list to see if P is online. Haven't seen P around for nearly a week, but when I do see P, we don't talk. I thought that I am able to let go, just like that. But I guess deep down, I know that I still like P.
I keep telling myself that a better one will come along...but that's not the point! It's not about being better or not!! It's about being able to like someone for their imperfections...All imperfections add up to become this unique person that P is!!
Wondering how P's doing now...A few days ago I saw P online and I told M that it's weird not talking to P online anymore because we used to chat every night. M asked me to make the first move in starting a conversation but I refused to cause I didn't know what to say =S and that I'll make a fool out of myself >.< What M said is true too...if we don't make the first move to talk to each other, then I guess our friendship will just end there and we can never be like how we used to be anymore.
Even though sometimes I avoid P, deep down I wanna see P and talk to P. I'm just too coward. Tonight I told myself that if P is online, I'll make the first move to send P a message. Too bad....P's not online...
XOXO,
Me
Can't help but to click on my Windows Live Messenger contact list to see if P is online. Haven't seen P around for nearly a week, but when I do see P, we don't talk. I thought that I am able to let go, just like that. But I guess deep down, I know that I still like P.
I keep telling myself that a better one will come along...but that's not the point! It's not about being better or not!! It's about being able to like someone for their imperfections...All imperfections add up to become this unique person that P is!!
Wondering how P's doing now...A few days ago I saw P online and I told M that it's weird not talking to P online anymore because we used to chat every night. M asked me to make the first move in starting a conversation but I refused to cause I didn't know what to say =S and that I'll make a fool out of myself >.< What M said is true too...if we don't make the first move to talk to each other, then I guess our friendship will just end there and we can never be like how we used to be anymore.
Even though sometimes I avoid P, deep down I wanna see P and talk to P. I'm just too coward. Tonight I told myself that if P is online, I'll make the first move to send P a message. Too bad....P's not online...
XOXO,
Me
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Left out...
Decided to call my parents and talk to them before uni starts once again. After the phone rang for 2 minutes, I reached the voicemail. No one was home. I guess they went out to run errands again.
So I thought, why don't I call to Singapore where my aunts and cousins are at? Since the birth of my cousin sister's baby boy, my aunts flew to Singapore to take care of him and to visit my cousin sister at the same time. I called...after ringing for ever, the engaged tone was heard. Eh?
Oh! Should've called the landline, not mobile phone!! Dialled again, this time the landline phone. Hearing my cousin's voice at the other end makes me wanna burst out crying!! Finally, a voice that I've heard for years!! I miss everyone!! ='(
And as I expected, I called at the wrong time. They were about to go out. Everyone's happy over her newborn. I just feel sad. I'm happy that she's got her newborn but I'm sad because I'm not there to share it with her, with everyone. Suddenly I realised, it's time for me to grow up. When I was younger, I used to stick to my cousins cause they're the closes relatives to me. They are like my own sisters but now, 1 is married, the other 1 is busy working in Singapore...I'm no longer the youngest of all. Her newborn baby boy is.
Not that I'm sad because no one's gonna give me attention anymore. I'm sad because it's time for me to face reality. It's time to grow up. That's what I've been dreading. I wanna be a kid forever. No matter what, I know that someday I'll get married and have kids of my own. Now...I feel like I'm left out...I'm not even sure if my family remembers that there's a me here, in Australia, waiting eagerly to go back home...
*sob* Feel like crying...I guess, when a person gets married, that person will have to live her/his own life with her/his spouse. It's funny how sometimes I just wanna grow up and sometimes I wanna be a kid forever. ARRGGGHHHH!! Emo-ing again..which is not good at all!!
It' ok...I must cheer up!! Going to the beach for my friend's 19 birthday...but it's so freezing cold!! =S I think I'll juz freeze to death...
XOXO,
Me
So I thought, why don't I call to Singapore where my aunts and cousins are at? Since the birth of my cousin sister's baby boy, my aunts flew to Singapore to take care of him and to visit my cousin sister at the same time. I called...after ringing for ever, the engaged tone was heard. Eh?
Oh! Should've called the landline, not mobile phone!! Dialled again, this time the landline phone. Hearing my cousin's voice at the other end makes me wanna burst out crying!! Finally, a voice that I've heard for years!! I miss everyone!! ='(
And as I expected, I called at the wrong time. They were about to go out. Everyone's happy over her newborn. I just feel sad. I'm happy that she's got her newborn but I'm sad because I'm not there to share it with her, with everyone. Suddenly I realised, it's time for me to grow up. When I was younger, I used to stick to my cousins cause they're the closes relatives to me. They are like my own sisters but now, 1 is married, the other 1 is busy working in Singapore...I'm no longer the youngest of all. Her newborn baby boy is.
Not that I'm sad because no one's gonna give me attention anymore. I'm sad because it's time for me to face reality. It's time to grow up. That's what I've been dreading. I wanna be a kid forever. No matter what, I know that someday I'll get married and have kids of my own. Now...I feel like I'm left out...I'm not even sure if my family remembers that there's a me here, in Australia, waiting eagerly to go back home...
*sob* Feel like crying...I guess, when a person gets married, that person will have to live her/his own life with her/his spouse. It's funny how sometimes I just wanna grow up and sometimes I wanna be a kid forever. ARRGGGHHHH!! Emo-ing again..which is not good at all!!
It' ok...I must cheer up!! Going to the beach for my friend's 19 birthday...but it's so freezing cold!! =S I think I'll juz freeze to death...
XOXO,
Me
Friday, September 28, 2007
I feel like dancing
Just came up after watching So You Think You Can Dance...wow!! I feel like dancing already!! It's true what Leonard said the other day. He said life is too short, learn whatever you wanna learn when you still can. So, dancing will be one of the things I wanna do in life! I'm 19, still young...even my parents started learning ballroom dancing at 50+? See? We're never too old to do anything =)
I wanna dance!! But I'm not an expressive person...I can't move when people are around. Basically, I don't really express my feelings when people are looking. >.< This is really bad...I'm always amazed by dancers, how they can dance like no one's looking with full of energy and vibe! It's just so...WOW!
Oh well, gonna learn ballet when I get back home...hopefully I don't get too distracted in sleeping until I forget about dancing XP
Oh boy, it's late...
XOXO,
Me
I wanna dance!! But I'm not an expressive person...I can't move when people are around. Basically, I don't really express my feelings when people are looking. >.< This is really bad...I'm always amazed by dancers, how they can dance like no one's looking with full of energy and vibe! It's just so...WOW!
Oh well, gonna learn ballet when I get back home...hopefully I don't get too distracted in sleeping until I forget about dancing XP
Oh boy, it's late...
XOXO,
Me
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